Daily Archives: June 27, 2012
Here we are folks, right on the humpity dumpity Hump Day Wednesday Today’s Mental Moment (I like those big headline letters don;t you? You should put some on your blog…. ) is a little ponderable about people who should you all the time, or even just some of the time. Not the ones who … Continue reading
Ground Control to Major Tom….. This is Ground Control to Major Tom, We think there is something wrong… You got the wrong number Ground Control. What? Major Tom? Who is this? First of all.. Major Tom is floating in a tin can high above the earth. He has been for 30.. no, 40 + years. … Continue reading
There’s really nothing going on out here to report. I’m mainly okay still, so that’s something. But past that? Feh — my brain is foggy and devoid of any intelligent thought. I’m not going to let myself be upset by this, and am instead going to try and channel it into autonomous working. Yanno, ’cause getting work done is usually good. It keeps me in food and drink and all of that!
Stupid dr office told me to just halve the Abilify so I am right back to flipping my lid. I had to come home from the shop yesterday because I was crawling out of my skin and sure I had left a lit cigarette or something and my home was burning down. Then I got home and within twenty minutes I zonked out on the couch. I am just exhausted anymore, like my seasonal affect energy levels are in winter mode, and during winter they were in spring mode. It’s the strangest thing.
I was better after the nap but only marginally.
I am very depressed. Very distracted.
Very sick of it all.
I don’t want to be trapped in this prison. I want to break the chains.
So why can’t I?
I’ve gained like 20 pounds since starting Abilify. Most people lose weight. I am a fucking cow. It makes picking out my clothes a living hell. My diet hasn’t changed and I had lost 60 pounds, so this is a major blow to my self esteem. It adds to the depression, and I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything.
Hell, it’s so bad, I’ve been sponge bathing for three days because I can’t work up the gumption to shower. I should feel ashamed of that and I kinda do, but then, I am so dead inside from the anti psychotic/anti depressant, it’;s hard to feel much emotion at all. I’m not even angry now. Just exhausted.
It’s got to get better, right?