Today is my big 4-0! And while I am enjoying my day somewhat, I didn’t get any cards in the mail (But I did get a TON of “Happy Birthday”‘s from people on Facebook). I got my birthday gift early… On Monday my Kindle Fire came in the mail, and the hubby let me have it then. I am supposed to be getting another package tomorrow (late), and I did get a gift card from my sister in law. But I am not having a party. I’m not having a cake. And I didn’t get to go away as I had wanted to. And while I’m a little sad…. I really am ok with everything the way it is. (I think only a person with Bipolar could understand how I could feel that way… LOL)
I don’t get to “party it up” or be festive. And while I would love to, I’m ok that I can’t.
My husbands grandmother passed away Monday. In her sleep. She has Alzheimer’s, but was also losing a lot of weight and muscle tone, from what I hear. She wasn’t ”ill” per se, so it was kind of a shock, yet at the same time, every one was kind of expecting her to pass on at any moment. Still, it doesn’t make it any easier… She was the matriarch of a huge family. Everyone loved her so… I only met her once. And that was 14 years ago. And she was welcoming yet old fashioned like my grandma. So, my husband will be leaving tomorrow morning to drive to Long Island. My oldest son will be going with him, so I feel better about my husband driving 11+ hours.. My husband gets very tired when he drives, and I am the official ”keep him awake” gal. So, my son will take my place. So, because of all that, I am trying to get some laundry done so they have all the clean clothes available to pack, making a “snacks” list so I can run up to the store later tonight to pick that stuff up, and in general, just sad… because losing anyone is painful. And I empathize with his family.
So, what has this taught me? Not even on your birthday is it all about you….
And that is ok. Sad, but ok.