Daily Archives: June 20, 2012

Today is my big 4-0! And while I am enjoying my day somewhat, I didn’t get any cards in the mail (But I did get a TON of “Happy Birthday”‘s from people on Facebook). I got my birthday gift early… On Monday my Kindle Fire came in the mail, and the hubby let me have it then. I am supposed to be getting another package tomorrow (late), and I did get a gift card from my sister in law. But I am not having a party. I’m not having a cake. And I didn’t get to go away as I had wanted to. And while I’m a little sad…. I really am ok with everything the way it is. (I think only a person with Bipolar could understand how I could feel that way… LOL)

I don’t get to “party it up” or be festive. And while I would love to, I’m ok that I can’t.

My husbands grandmother passed away Monday. In her sleep. She has Alzheimer’s, but was also losing a lot of weight and muscle tone, from what I hear.  She wasn’t ”ill” per se, so it was kind of a shock, yet at the same time, every one was kind of expecting her to pass on at any moment. Still, it doesn’t make it any easier… She was the matriarch of a huge family. Everyone loved her so… I only met her once. And that was 14 years ago. And she was welcoming yet old fashioned like my grandma.  So, my husband will be leaving tomorrow morning to drive to Long Island. My oldest son will be going with him, so I feel better about my husband driving 11+ hours.. My husband gets very tired when he drives, and I am the official ”keep him awake” gal. So, my son will take my place. So, because of all that, I am trying to get some laundry done so they have all the clean clothes available to pack, making a “snacks” list so I can run up to the store later tonight to pick that stuff up, and in general, just sad… because losing anyone is painful. And I empathize with his family.

So, what has this taught me? Not even on your birthday is it all about you….

And that is ok. Sad, but ok.

In a genius move, I went to the shop yesterday…and forgot to take my meds.

He he he he.

I now know why they are called happy pills.

Kenny was rattling on about several things, the man is a little too opinionated for my tastes, especially when it comes to subjects like women, child support, and child rearing. He reminds me so much of The Donor at times I want to throttle him as a proxy. This man didn’t raise his son, didn’t want his son, and resents paying child support on him and thinks all women are out to trap men for their money. Hmm…Rings several bells.

He was on his soapbox, because there was some baby daddy drama on a talk show and DNA proved the guy fathered the woman’s baby…and she was relieved he’d have to start paying child support. And he went on about how women don;t care about the wellfare of the child, they just want the money. Um, part of a child’s well fare IS the financial support, you stupid fuck.

I blew up. I practically yelled, “No, you got fucked over by one woman who got knocked up and so you have had to pay 18 years of child support and now all women are evil bitches after your money!”

I surprised myself with my viciousness. Probably because I spent three years restraining myself when the Donor spouted off about the same sort of things. I didn’t restrain myself today, I was just bloody angry.

Then I realized why I was so angry.

Ha ha ha, forgot to take the happy pills.

I did not apologize.

He laughed.

End of story.

I’d still be fighting with the Donor about it.

God, it’s nice to deal with semi normal people again who don’t send shrapnel flying by falling apart over the truth.