Saw the shrink yesterday.
Two months ago I got a lecture for losing too much weight too fast.
I gain 14 pounds in two months after my meds get tweaked and Abilify is thrown in the mix, and now I am being chastised for gaining too much weight too fast.
It was truly a what-the-fuck moment, I almost wanted to laugh at the asinine nature of it.
Of course, by then they’d kept me waiting so long and I was so anxiety ridden, I was probably a little snarky, so maybe I took it too personally. I know the part where she lectured me for not getting the blood work done because Abilify can mess with your blood sugar and cause diabetes was awesome. It gives me hope that one day soon I can get in on one of those ambulance chasing TV lawsuits. You know the ones: “If you or a loved one suffered heart failure, kidney failure, internal bleeding, anal leakage or death…You may be entitled to compensation.”
If their drug killed me and I am able to file a lawsuit from my grave I’m going on Springer!
Yes, I know, I’m just not right.
She tried to mess with my Xanax again. I vetoed it. I am a strong willed bitch.
The rest stayed the same, sans Abilify being increased and her removing the evil elavil in favor of the evil Trazadone.
Apparently, she is very concerned with my screwy sleep patterns.
Welcome to the manic season of bipolar, Doc. By fall I’ll be right back to going to bed at 7 pm and sleeping 9 hours a night because life is too sucky to stay awake for.
Needless to say, the whole weight thing made me feel like crap, and I think doctors are the reason some people opt for suicide. You just get so sick of hearing the same shit every time because you can’t win.
She also frowns upon my imbibing of tasty vodkas and such. (I had black cherry Southern Comfort sample the other day, wow, that shit is caustic!) but I like sample day at the liquor store so she can sue me. And file a suit against UV for making vodka taste like candy, the evil bastages.
It’s almost 3 am. I slept my requisite two hours.
I should clean.
I don’t think it’s going to happen.
Anyway…that was how my shrink appt went.
Now…I’m going to do some research on how to get in on one of those lawsuits for the people meds have caused death in. I totally think that’s a ka-ching! situation.
Pay the ghoul.
I’m getting my coffin pimped out.