Memories

I don’t understand what is going on with me… My mind wanders to the past every now and then, and I start thinking about my first mother in law (yeah, I’m kinda on my 3rd one right now and am pretty sure there will be no more). I check her FB page from time to time to see what she is up to and see if she is ok. I loved her to death. I’ll never forget, the first time I met her she called me a hussy… Really, she did. And we were good friends from then on out. Until her son and I split. He always told me he never wanted to end up like his mom and dad, he wanted us to be friendly always. That didn’t work out so well… I tried to reach out to his sister, and she never responded to my message. And that is ok. I also want to reach out to his mom, and just tell her how much I miss her and I hope she is doing well and I think of her often… And not in a creepy stalker kind of way, but in a fond memory kinda way. But I don’t want her son to know I contacted her, because his wife is a bitch and she wants me to have nothing to do with him. Which is fine… It’s been 20 years, I am over him…. It’s all good. But it’s like I want to explain to his mom what was wrong with me back then. And how I was fucked in the head, so she would understand. But really I just wanna say hi. And that’s it. Is there something wrong with that? I feel like there is. Memories can really fuck you in the head.

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