Tag Archives: parenting

Spring Brings Hypomania

This year, as winter has ended and spring has begun, I’ve taken it slowly and protected myself from overstimulation. You have not heard from me as much, as I’ve not been as active writing here or on social media. You…

Who Do I Care For, Really?

I spend way too much emotional and physical energy toward the care of others, aside from myself. Why do I care so much, too much? No doubt due to my upbringing, to my relationship to my parents – trying to please, to…

Insecurity Boo Hoo Bummers & the Book Cover Saga Continues…

The dynamic duo!   Hello there! I hope you’re doing well! I’m writing this post on Wednesday at the close of a funky day. Rilla had a tummy bug – it was nothing serious – but I kept her home just to be on the safe side. She had a blast showing me the intricacies … Continue reading Insecurity Boo Hoo Bummers & the Book Cover Saga Continues…

Time to Write Again?

Pre-Christmas Travel Writing I jump from one app to another. Jigsaw puzzle to reading to writing. Back and forth, writing and jigsaw. Uneasy. Jittery. Uneasy. Not at ease. Tense. Guilty. Dramatic, yes, but so fucking what. That’s who I am.…

Death to Concern Trolls

It’s cold here. But not cold enough to snow. Ergo, the cold is unconscionably rude. *nodnods* It doesn’t help that I also *have* a cold. Having a cold always makes me feel like a whiny wimp, ha ha.

I’d forgotten to mention in my last post another localised drama we had been dealing with. Someone had reported us to the GP as having a dirty home and locking our kids up, which had to be passed on anonymously to the council. So we had a multi-agency council investigation opened up on us because of it; that includes the cops, social workers, youth services, the schools, and health services. The formal investigation was closed the day after it was opened because, oh hey, nothing to hide whatsoever and wtf to whomever filed the concern-trolling. But because the youngest child’s last check-up hadn’t been put into the system yet (easily found when we pointed out the date), they were a teense concerned that she’d not been seen in awhile.

Obvs, she had, but anyways.

The end result was that a health visitor came to check in on us this week. It was a pleasant and productive enough conversation, considering that it was brought on by the worst sort of half-fabricated Chinese Whispers. I probably was way too candid about my life and times and why I wouldn’t put my children into a neglectful environment after my own childhood. Like, I came out of it feeling reassured and happy, which I certainly didn’t expect. The end result of that was getting their sleep expert to contact us to set up a date to talk ways to get the littlest to sleep on her own, but really… that is our sole ‘problem’ and has been the only ‘problem’ for some time. The tl;dr on that is that she’s a stubborn little miss and likes to sleep attached to one or both of us. We’re confident that she’ll move to sleeping on her own when she’s good and ready. In that, she’s the opposite of her sister; big sis did everything else when she was good and ready, but was an amazing sleeper from the start.

I’m annoyed because insomnia is sneaking back in. I’ve been having to dripfeed myself from my melatonin stash to try and help fight it since I got switched back to extended release Seroquel… when was that? March? Long enough that you’d think my body would quit trying to default to insomnia. Though having said that, it’s sort of resurfaced again the past week specifically, which could be a product of maybe-hypomania. I don’t feel particularly high, and I’m certainly not trying to do all (or really, any) of the things. I feel a bit rosy in the way that I associate with being ‘up’, but that’s about it — a very minor dredge of fuzzy warmth. That could feasibly be the end result of successful social interaction, happiness at catching up with my sisters recently, or just yanno, the fact I’ve got cute kids in the house.

I know, wah wah, poor Raesie has it pretty good as per relative norm. I don’t take it for granted though. I went through much too long of the baseline being shit + boozed + sleeping pilled + sleep paralysis + insecure schedule + you name it = soooooo soo not okay. If the worst that I deal with regularly is a bit of anxiety and depression on a Sunday night, I’ll take it (though I’ll admit I’d like to not have to deal with that either ¬¬).

Right, that’s enough word vom. Hopefully will continue this trying to get back into posting (and liking/commenting on peoples’ posts) more frequently habit!

<3

Bipolar Network News

The Bipolar Network News offers fabulous articles about the latest research. I subscribe to their newsletter, which I’m sharing from my email. Sign up for more information at bipolarnews.org. Latest Findings on Ketamine IV Ketamine 2 or 3 Times Per…

I’m at a Loss…

My son has missed WAY too much school this year. He’s attending a private school where he gets one-on-one attention and learns at his own pace, so he simply falls behind and the charges for missed classes just keep adding…

Nothering, Too Good, or Good Enough Mother?

Feminine Collective published Good Enough Mothering, a poem of mine about mothering a migraineur. Check it out.Filed under: Caregiving, Motherhood, Parenting, Self care Tagged: codependence, exhaustion, migraine, migraineur

Welcome Home

I took my sleeping pill, Trazadone, for the first time in months yesterday. The decision came before Jocelyn had her several meltdowns I mentioned in the last blog. I was actually planning on taking one on the night of her first meltdown. It was one of the first things I told my wife when I […]

Wave the White Flag

Need to write out the pain and exhaustion in my heart Pain and grieving my parents’ dementias Pain and exhaustion caring for my son Must back off both Must take care of myself Must Must Must Must take care of…