Author Archives: Waldo Jeffords

Noon at Ray’s

Time plus two hours and thirty minutes.

Current time: 1:41 pm

Reason, readability, speedily, hurriedly

Free wi-fi for one hour for being T-Mobile customer. Whoo-hoo!!

Baby I could be your man.

National Geographic. Scientific American. Kindle Seveneves. Kindle Ted Chiang short story.

More

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Fluid – Aqua

Nick Cave by Bleddyn Butcher Oct 2012
And then we called upon the Author to explain


America's lost somewhere inside of Littleton
Eleven million children are on Ritalin
That's way I don't rhyme for the sake of riddlin'
False media, we don't need it, do we?
Pilgrims, Slaves, Indian, Mexican
It looks real fucked up for your next of kin
That's why I don't rhyme for the sake of riddlin'
False media




All this talk is getting me down (work that more)
Nothing's making sense in my brain (work that right side left side)
I'm moving words in coarse of today (more that more)
Trying hard to fix through the pain (inside outside left side work the floor)
I'm waiting to the thought that we came (inside outside up top down with more)
Only to discover I'm aged (work that inside outside)
And blow a quart of love in your frame (work that more)
And watch things drop down (work that right side left side more that more)
And watch things drop down (inside outside left side work the floor)
And watch things drop down (inside outside up top down with more)
And watch things drop down


A BIT LIKE THIS





Long absence – ADD diagnosis



317-385

8:58

C4

8:50
8:51 - raindrop
Fast charging
IP
Predicate mapping
Odysseus
Vintage

Tree

The glass isn’t half anything

(In which I rant about the glass being half full or half empty)

There has been depression, marital distress, and other stuff happening.  None of which I felt like blogging about particularly.  So I revert back to the daily prompt document I have.  The silly prompt for the day I checked (almost a week ago) was "Is the glass half-full, or half-empty?"


This question has been percolating/swirling/brewing in my mind for a while.  For someone who experiences depression on a regular basis, this is a ridiculous question.  The glass is half-empty obviously.  But that doesn't even begin to capture what is really going on with that glass.  That glass is filling up with a black ink.  No ink is way too clean and leaves the water ore or less intact.  It's a thick black sludge.  It's polluting that crystal clear water.  It's starting to corrode that glass.  You've got no choice but to drink that shit.  Drink it down.  It's disgusting.  You hate it.  You need to keep a happy face the whole time as it destroys your insides.  All you want to do is to go to bed to somehow deal with the after effects of that crap.  But you can't... you're supposed to go about your daily business while the rest of the world wonders whether the glass is half full or half empty.

Image credit: glass with ink

Recovering from someone else’s surgery

On Monday I drove my parents to a hospital an hour away to get my dad's battery changed that powers his deep brain stimulation for Parkinson's.  It was a minor surgery that lasted less than an hour, went off without a hitch, and he continues to make a painless recovery.  If you don't know what deep brain stimulation is (and don't want to follow the link) he basically has electrodes buried deep in his brain that are constantly stimulating a very specific area which completely stops his tremors.  The battery is underneath chest tissue (the thing called the pulse generator in the picture).  By the way, my dad's skin is not blue.

Given that everything went well, why did I become so utterly exhausted?  Most can probably relate to the experience of anticipating a loved one's surgery and the seemingly endless waiting.  You're just waiting, but it drains you.  I think it also transported my mom and I back to the original surgery which took over 13 hours.  My dad was in the hospital for 10 days afterwards.  He had aphasia and it took months for his speech to return to normal.  Even though this was nothing like that, we saw him made up for surgery and I think our minds returned to that horrible time.

I slept for almost 12 hours both Monday night and Wednesday night.  I've been under a deadline at work and had to really force myself to stay on task.  The pressure lifted yesterday afternoon.  Since then I've been listless, unmotivated, even apathetic.  For something so critical as this job to keep my family afloat, it seems reckless to be such a slacker.  I say, "I would so fire me." on a week like this.  Obviously I haven't felt like blogging much either.  I can't believe I wrote five posts in five days a while back.  That was definitely the up, and I'm definitely in the down now.  As Mary said, it feels like in Monopoly... "Do not pass Go, do not collect 200 dollars, experience depression and moodiness from December to July."

Image credit - Deep brain (public domain)