Author Archives: sandorfalot

Yoga and Invega Sustenna And Life

I haven’t updated in a while. My old laptop’s keyboard stopped working,  I had to use an external, and the technician came two days late with the wrong part. Then I was told I had to send it in and have them replace it, since it can’t be done on the field by a tech. I could have done it myself, honestly.

I flipped out, and eventually my call got escalated so high they decided to just replace my laptop. So I reinstalled Windows 8 after backing up all my data, complete wipe and reinstall. I was supposed to get the laptop the next day.

No laptop.

A week later, I get an email “Its out of stock”. They order another one. Out of stock. Finally, they order the one I have now (which has delightfully nice specs, i7 core processor, GEFORCE Nvidia driver and 16GB of RAM, to start. The old one was i7, and had 8GB’s of RAM. I got it a week after it was ordered.

I flipped out bad on the phone with my mom one day. She listened to me, let me rant and cry, and then told me that a woman she works with has similar “issues” and finds yoga to help. She said “Don’t go throwing away your pills, but yoga might help”. I live on top of a yoga studio, interesting coincidence. So all I do is walk downstairs for class.

I go to my first class, Gentle Yoga. Everyone but me is elderly, but they’re very welcoming and nice. The first class is free. I went through the hour and fifteen minute class and time went so fast. The studio focuses on mindfulness and staying in the moment, as well as different types of breathing. I was hooked. My mom and I split on an Unlimited pass, so I could go every day if I wanted. I go four days a week.

My doc approves. I still need meds, obviously, but it’s therapeutic for me. The relaxing, the breathing. I like doing the poses and stretching. It’s helped my bad shoulder. I go to Level 1 and Gentle Yoga, as well as Bliss yoga at the end of every month.

I’d recommend yoga for those that have a temper, or bad anxiety. I have a temper AND bad anxiety. It’s so relaxing. And what my mom said: Don’t go throwing out your meds. It’s a good aid. And it’s cheaper than therapy. With the unlimited pass,  pay $15 a week when you work it out.

My old therapist charged $40/hour on the sliding scale (and she was one of the cheaper ones) and she SUCKED. I fired her and started yoga. I don’t recommend firing your therapist and doing yoga in replacement, but this tdoc really, really sucked.

Piportil was giving me warning signs of TD, and I was stuttering on it, involuntary twitches, bad akathasia if I didn’t take Artane in the am and pm (10mg total a day).  So my pdoc switched me to Invega Sustenna, which is given every 4 weeks, instead of every 2, like the Piportil.

So far, so good. I have to go to the hospitals medication clinic for the shots, my GP and his nurse can’t do it, which kinda sucks. The worst is paying for parking. The nurse that gives me the shot is super-nice. I’ve had the two loading doses (150mg for the first, 100mg for the second a week later) and start on 150mg next Friday (May 15th).

The doses are different from the US to Canada, I noticed looking around the internet.  234mg for the first loading dose, 156mg for the second. Weird.

The shot goes into the deltoid (upper arm/shoulder) and isn’t too terribly painful if at all, but there’s a lot of pressure. The nurse is really great. Her daughter horseback rides, so we chat about that. My arm does get sore for about 3 days after. Not super-bad, I can still use it, I can sleep on it, I don’t need painkillers (for the second loading dose, my nurse asked if I had taken anything for the soreness, how bad it was, etc).

Apparently injecting into the deltoid is 30% more effective than in the bum. Interesting! So far the only side effect I’ve had is extra salivation.

The Piportil is’t causing problems anymore, enough is out of my system that the side effects go away. Piportil was great, but even with Artane I had akathasia and EPS. Plus its getting harder and harder to get. It’s understocked and hard to order in.

I’ve been doing web design, PHP, MySQL, riding, lately. Trying to keep myself busy. Mother’s Day is this weekend, so I need to find something special for my mom. I’m getting her a fancy bouquet of flowers from the flower shop down the street. Last year I got her one with a big smiley face cup the flowers were in. She loves yellow smiley faced items. I’ll find something nice there, though.

So that’s life lately.

Yoga and Invega Sustenna And Life

I haven’t updated in a while. My old laptop’s keyboard stopped working,  I had to use an external, and the technician came two days late with the wrong part. Then I was told I had to send it in and have them replace it, since it can’t be done on the field by a tech. I could have done it myself, honestly.

I flipped out, and eventually my call got escalated so high they decided to just replace my laptop. So I reinstalled Windows 8 after backing up all my data, complete wipe and reinstall. I was supposed to get the laptop the next day.

No laptop.

A week later, I get an email “Its out of stock”. They order another one. Out of stock. Finally, they order the one I have now (which has delightfully nice specs, i7 core processor, GEFORCE Nvidia driver and 16GB of RAM, to start. The old one was i7, and had 8GB’s of RAM. I got it a week after it was ordered.

I flipped out bad on the phone with my mom one day. She listened to me, let me rant and cry, and then told me that a woman she works with has similar “issues” and finds yoga to help. She said “Don’t go throwing away your pills, but yoga might help”. I live on top of a yoga studio, interesting coincidence. So all I do is walk downstairs for class.

I go to my first class, Gentle Yoga. Everyone but me is elderly, but they’re very welcoming and nice. The first class is free. I went through the hour and fifteen minute class and time went so fast. The studio focuses on mindfulness and staying in the moment, as well as different types of breathing. I was hooked. My mom and I split on an Unlimited pass, so I could go every day if I wanted. I go four days a week.

My doc approves. I still need meds, obviously, but it’s therapeutic for me. The relaxing, the breathing. I like doing the poses and stretching. It’s helped my bad shoulder. I go to Level 1 and Gentle Yoga, as well as Bliss yoga at the end of every month.

I’d recommend yoga for those that have a temper, or bad anxiety. I have a temper AND bad anxiety. It’s so relaxing. And what my mom said: Don’t go throwing out your meds. It’s a good aid. And it’s cheaper than therapy. With the unlimited pass,  pay $15 a week when you work it out.

My old therapist charged $40/hour on the sliding scale (and she was one of the cheaper ones) and she SUCKED. I fired her and started yoga. I don’t recommend firing your therapist and doing yoga in replacement, but this tdoc really, really sucked.

Piportil was giving me warning signs of TD, and I was stuttering on it, involuntary twitches, bad akathasia if I didn’t take Artane in the am and pm (10mg total a day).  So my pdoc switched me to Invega Sustenna, which is given every 4 weeks, instead of every 2, like the Piportil.

So far, so good. I have to go to the hospitals medication clinic for the shots, my GP and his nurse can’t do it, which kinda sucks. The worst is paying for parking. The nurse that gives me the shot is super-nice. I’ve had the two loading doses (150mg for the first, 100mg for the second a week later) and start on 150mg next Friday (May 15th).

The doses are different from the US to Canada, I noticed looking around the internet.  234mg for the first loading dose, 156mg for the second. Weird.

The shot goes into the deltoid (upper arm/shoulder) and isn’t too terribly painful if at all, but there’s a lot of pressure. The nurse is really great. Her daughter horseback rides, so we chat about that. My arm does get sore for about 3 days after. Not super-bad, I can still use it, I can sleep on it, I don’t need painkillers (for the second loading dose, my nurse asked if I had taken anything for the soreness, how bad it was, etc).

Apparently injecting into the deltoid is 30% more effective than in the bum. Interesting! So far the only side effect I’ve had is extra salivation.

The Piportil is’t causing problems anymore, enough is out of my system that the side effects go away. Piportil was great, but even with Artane I had akathasia and EPS. Plus its getting harder and harder to get. It’s understocked and hard to order in.

I’ve been doing web design, PHP, MySQL, riding, lately. Trying to keep myself busy. Mother’s Day is this weekend, so I need to find something special for my mom. I’m getting her a fancy bouquet of flowers from the flower shop down the street. Last year I got her one with a big smiley face cup the flowers were in. She loves yellow smiley faced items. I’ll find something nice there, though.

So that’s life lately.

Invega Sustenna & Yoga

Well, a lot has gone on since I updated last. The snow has stopped and the temperature is rising!

My mood has been good, no episodes, out of the horrible mixed episode I was in before (probably why I wasn’t updating) and no psychosis. However, the Piportil depot injection was giving me EPS (extrapyramidal symptoms), some involuntary twitching and movements, stuttering and bad akathasia (inner and outer restlessness) so my pdoc switched me to Invega Sustenna.

I like the Invega Sustenna because it’s every 4 weeks, rather than every 2, and goes in the arm, not the glutes. I had my first shot Friday and had some mild sedation after, nothing bad. I have to go to the injection clinic at the hospital, not my GP anymore, which kinda sucks, but the nurse there is great. She’s very nice and very thorough.

I had to do a lot of paperwork before the first shot (a loading dose of 150mg, next week I go for a second loading dose of 100mg, then it’s 100mg every 4 weeks) to make sure I understood. My pdoc confirmed that I have schizoaffective bipolar disorder, with a “fair” prognosis, which is good. Could be worse.

The shot was pretty easy, left my arm sore (it’s still a bit tender today, Sunday, but nothing major) and no side effects so far. The main one is to watch prolactin levels, but they didn’t go up on Risperdal Consta, which is worse for that.

I had a complete meltdown on the phone with my mom, and she suggested I try yoga. I live above a yoga studio, we share the same building, so I went in for a free trial class in Gentle Yoga (I have to be careful because I have a torn rotator cuff). Everyone was so nice and welcoming. The oldest man there is 92 years old! He’s a singer. He welcomed me right away and chatted my ear off. He’s awesome!

I found after the first session I was very relaxed after and so I signed up to take 2-3 classes a week. I’m going to Meditation & Bliss yoga next Friday and Gentle Yoga on Monday. I sleep better on yoga days, and its teaching me some methods on how to stay calm and relax. I got a lime green yoga mat and some gray pants, and purple leopard print pants. I enjoy it a lot.

I’d upload more pics, but my laptop is broken, I just backed everything up and formatted and reinstalled Windows 8, so I’m running on the bare bones until my replacement gets here. It’s been two weeks and no replacement. Not happy. It took me 16 hours on the phone and 6 escalations to get them to send me a new laptop.

Plus, a technician came to fix it, they had given him the wrong part, and the keyboard (which is toast) can’t be fixed on site. The tech told me if I sent my laptop in, they’d probably just replace it. He didn’t show up on the scheduled day, didn’t call, and then showed up on the Sunday (6 days after I made the first call) and didn’t fix anything. He tried to get me to work for him, but hasn’t emailed me the specifics (it’d be web design) and told me he’d never buy a [brand name removed] device. WOW, this guy is a real winner…

Also, I’m having a contest on my other blog. Check it out here at Craftasaurus Rex.

I started riding again, the weather has gotten better. I missed it all winter!

Cheers.

What’s going on

I haven’t self injured in a while. I had a bad tdoc session where all I did was cry or sit in silence. It sucked.

I’m seeing a dietitian and she gave me a bunch of recipes, a book on high calorie smoothies, and a grocery shopping list. She was very nice. I weigh 95lbs. Too low. People are concerned. I am not engaging in eating disordered behaviour, meaning I’m not doing it on purpose. Smoothies seem to be the best idea. I love smoothies. Just need to pick up my blender which is at my moms.

I’ve been knitting a lot. Getting a lot of projects done. I love to knit. Did you know that it’s like meditating? (Well, unless you screw up!) It’s good for the brain AND I get something cool from it. Here are a few projects I’ve done lately.

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The Afternoon Shawl. This took 6 day and the sides and back are about waist-length.

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A hooded cowl that’s too big for me, but fits my roommate, and keeps her warm. I’m so glad she loves it!

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An afghan square. There are a few mistakes, and it needs to be blocked, but I’m happy with it.

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The Leafy Sea Dragon scarf, it ruffles really neat and is very warm.

My Wellbutrin was increased to 450mg, and I take 300mg Seroquel now. Everything else is the same. I switched pharmacies, to the one my pdoc has in the building he works in, and they’re great so far.

Mood-wise I’ve been a bit blah. Restless. It’s been too cold or snowy (or both) to go riding. I went 2 weeks ago and spent 15 min riding, it was so cold in the indoor arena, my face just froze immediately. I don’t handle the heat and cold very well. It’s a med thing.

Been working on some websites. Being a bit productive, but staying home a lot. No hallucinations or delusions, but mild akathasia from the Piportil depot injection. So I take more Artane, and it helps, and keeps the psychosis away.

Questioning my rotator cuff surgery. My roommate gave me a reality check in that I need to do it ASAP and that it will help, she’ll take care of me. I need the surgery, but I don’t want it. 9 months rehab! I do have a phenomenal ortho doc though. He could do this surgery with his eyes closed and one hand tied behind his back.

So I guess I’m doing the surgery. Still waiting on a date. I do need to do it. One month immbilization is going to suck. Narcotics can make me angry, and I’m sensitive to them (when I did the original damage: fractured humerus, shattered shoulder, torn rotator cuff) I had to take Percocet 5mg in quarters if I wanted to stay awake. It knocked me out, but it controlled the pain. I was very irritable though.

I’m scared of being immobilized for a month. It’s my right arm and I’m right handed. I have the support of my roommate and parents to take me to all appointments, cook, clean, etc, which is fantastic. I was immobilized for 6 weeks when I broke it, so I know what to expect. I’m not scared of the surgery, my surgeon is literally the best in Canada, but I’m scared of the rehab and pain after.

But I have to do it. If I don’t, my shoulder will get worse and worse. I can’t lift above my head. It hurts all the time. One month where everything sucks is much better than living with it, or it getting worse (which it will). I’ve lost a lot of range of motion, strength, etc. I’m young and heal fast, so this summer is a good time.

Enough of my rambling.

Happy New Year

I slipped up. I self harmed. Not badly. But there goes almost 4 years of not self harming. *sigh* Reset the clock.

Doing better than I was the other day, at least.

In Florida, it is illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine. Boy, would I have loved to be a fly on the wall to how that became a law!

Happy New Year

I slipped up. I self harmed. Not badly. But there goes almost 4 years of not self harming. *sigh* Reset the clock.

Doing better than I was the other day, at least.

In Florida, it is illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine. Boy, would I have loved to be a fly on the wall to how that became a law!

Happy New Year

I slipped up. I self harmed. Not badly. But there goes almost 4 years of not self harming. *sigh* Reset the clock.

Doing better than I was the other day, at least.

In Florida, it is illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine. Boy, would I have loved to be a fly on the wall to how that became a law!

Happy New Year

I slipped up. I self harmed. Not badly. But there goes almost 4 years of not self harming. *sigh* Reset the clock.

Doing better than I was the other day, at least.

In Florida, it is illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine. Boy, would I have loved to be a fly on the wall to how that became a law!

Feeling better

The meds are working. I’m not in an episode anymore and I’m more motivated.

I had a decent Christmas. My brother was being a dick to my mom, and I felt terrible for her. She’s given him and I the world and doesn’t deserve to be treated badly by anyone. I love my mom with all my heart and I hate to see her upset.

I got some decent Christmas loot. There’s a smartwatch in the mail coming for me, some Cindwood looms for knitting – the best knitting looms out there, a onesie with stars (they are SO damn warm and comfy) and a pair of really cool boots that I can wear with dressy clothes, and they will not see the barn. I needed non-muck boots.

My roommate got me little horse figures and chocolate. I got her a Breyer horse, the Horse of the Year (Appendix Quarterhorse). It won’t be here until Jan 5th at the latest, though. My brother and SIL got me a Chapters gift card and I bought a journal “642 Things to Write About”. We had a non-traditional Christmas dinner, my mom made homemade pizza, and damn it was good.

It’s been weird out. It’s 11C today, about 50 F. Weird weather. We were supposed to have a white Christmas, but it was windy and warm instead. Weird. Last year my dad got called in for 4am and my mom had us opening presents at 3am, before he went to work! She loooves Christmas.

I’ve been a bit nauseous lately. Ugh. I just took some gravol.

Anxiety blows

Well, I took some tylenol with codeine earlier, it also has caffeine, and now I’m physically anxious, but not so much mentally. I took 1mg clonazepam (Klonopin) about an hour ago and its lessened it a bit.

Fucking caffeine. My shoulder was KILLING me, so I took the tylenol 1’s (which are OTC in Canada) I also ate, which brought it down a bit.

Tomorrow I’m going to my parents to celebrate Christmas. We’re opening presents on the 25th and having a homemade pizza dinner. Take that, turkey!

Other than the random anxiety, I’m doing well. Got out to the barn a few times. Sully threw a shoe, so he can’t be ridden for a bit. I’ve been riding Stinky, the 4 year old Thorouhbred stallion and Rain (“the baby”) a 3 1/2 year old leopard appaloosa. I miss Sully.

The horses out in one paddock got attacked by a neighbours dog. 3 horses are lame, and many others flip out when they hear the dogs. They got chased around the outdoor ring, and 2 got bit. It’s sad.

We got donkey back, because donkeys are protectors and keep dogs and coyotes away, believe it or not. Her name is Belle, and she’s just over a year old. We haven’t heard any barking since we got her back. She’s so cute. I know my roommate missed her a lot, we weren’t going to get her back until April, but now we have Belle back.The circmstances around it suck, though.

Hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday!