I have barely looked at another blog, have stopped interacting with nearly everyone I follow on FaceBook, have ceased communications with the small handful of people that I had usually communicated with on a semi-regular basis, and I went underground. My friend Marilyn had talked to me previously about hunkering down and waiting for the storms to pass, and I guess maybe I took that to extremes a bit.
The positive news about my (relatively) short hiatus from all others in my world is that:
- I have been smoke-free since January 3rd. Parts of it were hard, parts of it were nearly impossible, but I have made it this far and I don’t plan on turning back. As a bonus to this accomplishment, I did this without totally wearing out my (now) miniaturized support system. (as in, no dogs or boyfriends or close family members were harmed in the obtaining of over three months smoke free…yay!)
- I have lost 67ish pounds since December, thanks to a healthy eating plan (that is sustainable in the long-run) and almost-daily aerobic exercise. It turns out that “those people” were actually right about exercise being good for your mood, body, and overall well-being.
- I have become “more social.” That doesn’t mean I am hitting up the grocery store or going to parties or any such nonsense. It means that, at the YMCA where I exercise every day, it is kind of similar to how it was on the long-ago “Cheers” sitcom, where everyone really DOES know my name. I must say, it does make exercising easier, to have all of those supportive people around.
- I have more “stuff” figured out in my life. Although therapy has been helpful, I have mostly grown in life because I am learning what makes me happy and I am learning to say “no” when something doesn’t feel good and I am (constantly) trying something new every day to grow myself.
I have missed blogging pretty terribly, and have missed some of my blog friends even more, but my hopes is that I can reconnect with people easier now that I am a bit more stable. I would love to start writing in this thing again. I don’t know if anyone really cares about that, save for me, but I do miss writing things out. I have been keeping an altered art journal, and writing pretty regularly in that by hand, and I plan to keep that up, but again, am hoping to maybe throw a few words up in this space every now and again.
If there is a thought in your head that I have forgotten about you, chances are pretty much 99% that this is not the case, that I just needed to disappear for awhile. I am not going to do a bunch of shout-outs right here and now, just know I have missed you and I hope we can catch up soon. I am bringing a happier, calmer, and healthier Rosa to the table, and I hope you stop by and say hi soon!
Filed under: Life Worth Living Tagged: anxiety, Bipolar, blogging, borderline personality disorder, BPD, change, coming back, community, depression, exercise, friends, lifestyle change, mental health, mental illness, mental wellness, PTSD