Author Archives: Lynn Browning

Life Goes On





It's been 9 months since I wrote my last blog. I don't know why I stopped. It certainly wasn't because I had nothing to say.....I always have something to say!! I just couldn't seem to get my thoughts on paper. So much has happened, so much is different yet life goes on just the same!! As far as Bipolar goes I've actually been reasonably "stable" for a while. By stable I mean I haven't been hypomanic since I started taking my meds again and I haven't been so depressed that I felt suicidal. Even with some pretty significant things that have happened I've managed to keep in reasonable control. I know 100% that it's partly due to medication and partly due to the fact that I am getting so much better at recognising problems before they get out of hand. For me that's the key. Before I was properly diagnosed I had no idea what was going on let alone what I could do to help myself. I know and accept that I need help from my GP and mental health services but I also realise that in order to stay well I have to take some responsibility. It's not easy. I have had some pretty down times but I sought help and managed to bring myself back up. As well as the Lithium I'm now taking a tiny dose of antidepressant. I wasn't sure as antidepressants can induce a manic episode in people with Bipolar, which is what happened to me before. My psychiatrist assured me that taking it alongside the Lithium, which is a mood stabiliser, would minimise the risk but would hopefully be enough to raise my mood. It works well and so far it's the best combination of meds I've had, with the least side effects.

 From an outsiders point of view I guess I have a cushy little life. I have my flat, my dog, no job responsibilities and enough money to live on. Don't get me wrong I'm very content with my lot but day to day life is not easy. Even when I'm stable the simplest of things can be such a huge deal. Every day is a challenge. Sometimes just getting dressed is a huge task. It's the little everyday things that take all my effort and energy. Normal everyday things seem harder to cope with nowadays. I find it hard to cope with too many things going on. I've been volunteering in a charity shop again and it's great but I still don't know if I could cope with a "proper" job yet. It's nothing to do with whether I'm able, it's whether I can be reliable. I can't say I'm really happy but I am sometimes. I'm sure I'm not mean't to be a miserable person and I try not to let people see when I'm unhappy. That's the hardest thing. My type of Bipolar means that I'm depressed more than high and it's hard work putting on a smile when I just want to cry. 
It's impossible to write about the last 9 months in one go. I can't. I think one of the things that's had the biggest impact on me was losing a really close friend. He took his own life. I miss him so much. I will write about it all one day but not yet. The most positive thing to happen was being reunited with my son. He's been drug free for 10 months. I will definitely be writing a blog about that. There is someone else who really got to me. More than I thought possible. I did write a blog but decided not to post it. I'm not sure I'll ever quite get my head around it but some things just happen and that's that.
I feel like I've drifted apart from a lot of people. It's my own fault. I tend to shut myself off and then time goes by and it's harder to do anything about it. I'm still really lucky to have my best friend and her family. I think I'd find things much more difficult without their support. 
I feel like I've drifted away from my own family a bit. I know I need to make more effort. 
I can't believe I've had Libby (my dog) for nearly a year now. She's the one constant in my life. She definitely keeps me going. I've made some really lovely friends because of her and that's been a huge bonus.
I've got things planned for this year and I'm determined not to miss out on any them. 
So, I guess life just goes on and things are ok really. 


Life Goes On





It's been 9 months since I wrote my last blog. I don't know why I stopped. It certainly wasn't because I had nothing to say.....I always have something to say!! I just couldn't seem to get my thoughts on paper. So much has happened, so much is different yet life goes on just the same!! As far as Bipolar goes I've actually been reasonably "stable" for a while. By stable I mean I haven't been hypomanic since I started taking my meds again and I haven't been so depressed that I felt suicidal. Even with some pretty significant things that have happened I've managed to keep in reasonable control. I know 100% that it's partly due to medication and partly due to the fact that I am getting so much better at recognising problems before they get out of hand. For me that's the key. Before I was properly diagnosed I had no idea what was going on let alone what I could do to help myself. I know and accept that I need help from my GP and mental health services but I also realise that in order to stay well I have to take some responsibility. It's not easy. I have had some pretty down times but I sought help and managed to bring myself back up. As well as the Lithium I'm now taking a tiny dose of antidepressant. I wasn't sure as antidepressants can induce a manic episode in people with Bipolar, which is what happened to me before. My psychiatrist assured me that taking it alongside the Lithium, which is a mood stabiliser, would minimise the risk but would hopefully be enough to raise my mood. It works well and so far it's the best combination of meds I've had, with the least side effects.

 From an outsiders point of view I guess I have a cushy little life. I have my flat, my dog, no job responsibilities and enough money to live on. Don't get me wrong I'm very content with my lot but day to day life is not easy. Even when I'm stable the simplest of things can be such a huge deal. Every day is a challenge. Sometimes just getting dressed is a huge task. It's the little everyday things that take all my effort and energy. Normal everyday things seem harder to cope with nowadays. I find it hard to cope with too many things going on. I've been volunteering in a charity shop again and it's great but I still don't know if I could cope with a "proper" job yet. It's nothing to do with whether I'm able, it's whether I can be reliable. I can't say I'm really happy but I am sometimes. I'm sure I'm not mean't to be a miserable person and I try not to let people see when I'm unhappy. That's the hardest thing. My type of Bipolar means that I'm depressed more than high and it's hard work putting on a smile when I just want to cry. 
It's impossible to write about the last 9 months in one go. I can't. I think one of the things that's had the biggest impact on me was losing a really close friend. He took his own life. I miss him so much. I will write about it all one day but not yet. The most positive thing to happen was being reunited with my son. He's been drug free for 10 months. I will definitely be writing a blog about that. There is someone else who really got to me. More than I thought possible. I did write a blog but decided not to post it. I'm not sure I'll ever quite get my head around it but some things just happen and that's that.
I feel like I've drifted apart from a lot of people. It's my own fault. I tend to shut myself off and then time goes by and it's harder to do anything about it. I'm still really lucky to have my best friend and her family. I think I'd find things much more difficult without their support. 
I feel like I've drifted away from my own family a bit. I know I need to make more effort. 
I can't believe I've had Libby (my dog) for nearly a year now. She's the one constant in my life. She definitely keeps me going. I've made some really lovely friends because of her and that's been a huge bonus.
I've got things planned for this year and I'm determined not to miss out on any them. 
So, I guess life just goes on and things are ok really. 


Life Goes On





It's been 9 months since I wrote my last blog. I don't know why I stopped. It certainly wasn't because I had nothing to say.....I always have something to say!! I just couldn't seem to get my thoughts on paper. So much has happened, so much is different yet life goes on just the same!! As far as Bipolar goes I've actually been reasonably "stable" for a while. By stable I mean I haven't been hypomanic since I started taking my meds again and I haven't been so depressed that I felt suicidal. Even with some pretty significant things that have happened I've managed to keep in reasonable control. I know 100% that it's partly due to medication and partly due to the fact that I am getting so much better at recognising problems before they get out of hand. For me that's the key. Before I was properly diagnosed I had no idea what was going on let alone what I could do to help myself. I know and accept that I need help from my GP and mental health services but I also realise that in order to stay well I have to take some responsibility. It's not easy. I have had some pretty down times but I sought help and managed to bring myself back up. As well as the Lithium I'm now taking a tiny dose of antidepressant. I wasn't sure as antidepressants can induce a manic episode in people with Bipolar, which is what happened to me before. My psychiatrist assured me that taking it alongside the Lithium, which is a mood stabiliser, would minimise the risk but would hopefully be enough to raise my mood. It works well and so far it's the best combination of meds I've had, with the least side effects.

 From an outsiders point of view I guess I have a cushy little life. I have my flat, my dog, no job responsibilities and enough money to live on. Don't get me wrong I'm very content with my lot but day to day life is not easy. Even when I'm stable the simplest of things can be such a huge deal. Every day is a challenge. Sometimes just getting dressed is a huge task. It's the little everyday things that take all my effort and energy. Normal everyday things seem harder to cope with nowadays. I find it hard to cope with too many things going on. I've been volunteering in a charity shop again and it's great but I still don't know if I could cope with a "proper" job yet. It's nothing to do with whether I'm able, it's whether I can be reliable. I can't say I'm really happy but I am sometimes. I'm sure I'm not mean't to be a miserable person and I try not to let people see when I'm unhappy. That's the hardest thing. My type of Bipolar means that I'm depressed more than high and it's hard work putting on a smile when I just want to cry. 
It's impossible to write about the last 9 months in one go. I can't. I think one of the things that's had the biggest impact on me was losing a really close friend. He took his own life. I miss him so much. I will write about it all one day but not yet. The most positive thing to happen was being reunited with my son. He's been drug free for 10 months. I will definitely be writing a blog about that. There is someone else who really got to me. More than I thought possible. I did write a blog but decided not to post it. I'm not sure I'll ever quite get my head around it but some things just happen and that's that.
I feel like I've drifted apart from a lot of people. It's my own fault. I tend to shut myself off and then time goes by and it's harder to do anything about it. I'm still really lucky to have my best friend and her family. I think I'd find things much more difficult without their support. 
I feel like I've drifted away from my own family a bit. I know I need to make more effort. 
I can't believe I've had Libby (my dog) for nearly a year now. She's the one constant in my life. She definitely keeps me going. I've made some really lovely friends because of her and that's been a huge bonus.
I've got things planned for this year and I'm determined not to miss out on any them. 
So, I guess life just goes on and things are ok really. 


At a snails pace



As well as bipolar mood changes, one of the most difficult things to cope with are the changes in energy levels and sleep that run alongside. For months on end I've got by with hardly any sleep at all. Two to three hours a night, maybe four if I've been lucky....sometimes no sleep at all. I did feel a bit tired at times but not all the time. I'd think nothing of being up and "doing" at 3 o'clock in the morning. I was so much more active. I had energy to burn. I've been expecting things to change but I must admit I am struggling. For the last few nights I've slept solid. I've been ready for my bed at 10 o'clock and slept right through until the alarm goes off at seven. Nine hours without any disturbance. That's a huge difference. You'd think I'd feel better for it. Trouble is I don't . Physically I feel worse. I feel more tired than ever. I feel like someone has literally sucked every last bit of energy out of me. My whole body aches. By the time I've taken the dog out and tidied up a bit I'm ready to sleep again. Yesterday I sat down with a coffee at 9 am and must have nodded off. I woke up two hours later with Libby (my dog) nudging me to get up! I'm sure if it wasn't for her I'd sleep all day and night. Every little thing is a huge effort. It's so frustrating. I can't imagine how people manage to do everything. I can't imagine how I used to look after a child, a husband, a house and garden.....now sometimes it takes such a huge effort just to get myself dressed. I feel about a hundred years old and I look like shit. I found myself crying because I needed to wash my hair and the effort just seemed too much. I find myself crying a lot. I don't really know why. I don't know that there's much I can do about it. I'm trying my hardest to keep going and that's all I can do. I went to my sisters over the weekend and it was a lovely day but by the time I got home I just felt so drained and overwhelmed by it all. I'm trying to keep doing the essential things. I know if I let my flat get in a mess, especially with the dog, I'll get in such a state over it I won't be able to do anything.  It's funny, I always think I've got good insight into my moods, yet it's only after the event I realise the full impact. Even though I was irritable and twitchy when I was "high", I think I'd rather be like that than how I am now......miserable, unmotivated and absolutely exhausted. Of course at the time I was wishing for calm. Now I'm doing everything at a snails pace and there's nothing I can do about it. My mind and body just won't let me go any quicker. What I really need is to be somewhere in between but it's not happening yet. It's so hard when it seems I go from one extreme to another with no real let up in between. I often feel like just giving up but I know I can't. I'm still hopeful that the meds will start working properly again soon. I've felt a lot worse than this before and that in itself gives me a reason not to give up. I might be slow but as long as I don't stop things will be ok eventually.

At a snails pace



As well as bipolar mood changes, one of the most difficult things to cope with are the changes in energy levels and sleep that run alongside. For months on end I've got by with hardly any sleep at all. Two to three hours a night, maybe four if I've been lucky....sometimes no sleep at all. I did feel a bit tired at times but not all the time. I'd think nothing of being up and "doing" at 3 o'clock in the morning. I was so much more active. I had energy to burn. I've been expecting things to change but I must admit I am struggling. For the last few nights I've slept solid. I've been ready for my bed at 10 o'clock and slept right through until the alarm goes off at seven. Nine hours without any disturbance. That's a huge difference. You'd think I'd feel better for it. Trouble is I don't . Physically I feel worse. I feel more tired than ever. I feel like someone has literally sucked every last bit of energy out of me. My whole body aches. By the time I've taken the dog out and tidied up a bit I'm ready to sleep again. Yesterday I sat down with a coffee at 9 am and must have nodded off. I woke up two hours later with Libby (my dog) nudging me to get up! I'm sure if it wasn't for her I'd sleep all day and night. Every little thing is a huge effort. It's so frustrating. I can't imagine how people manage to do everything. I can't imagine how I used to look after a child, a husband, a house and garden.....now sometimes it takes such a huge effort just to get myself dressed. I feel about a hundred years old and I look like shit. I found myself crying because I needed to wash my hair and the effort just seemed too much. I find myself crying a lot. I don't really know why. I don't know that there's much I can do about it. I'm trying my hardest to keep going and that's all I can do. I went to my sisters over the weekend and it was a lovely day but by the time I got home I just felt so drained and overwhelmed by it all. I'm trying to keep doing the essential things. I know if I let my flat get in a mess, especially with the dog, I'll get in such a state over it I won't be able to do anything.  It's funny, I always think I've got good insight into my moods, yet it's only after the event I realise the full impact. Even though I was irritable and twitchy when I was "high", I think I'd rather be like that than how I am now......miserable, unmotivated and absolutely exhausted. Of course at the time I was wishing for calm. Now I'm doing everything at a snails pace and there's nothing I can do about it. My mind and body just won't let me go any quicker. What I really need is to be somewhere in between but it's not happening yet. It's so hard when it seems I go from one extreme to another with no real let up in between. I often feel like just giving up but I know I can't. I'm still hopeful that the meds will start working properly again soon. I've felt a lot worse than this before and that in itself gives me a reason not to give up. I might be slow but as long as I don't stop things will be ok eventually.

At a snails pace



As well as bipolar mood changes, one of the most difficult things to cope with are the changes in energy levels and sleep that run alongside. For months on end I've got by with hardly any sleep at all. Two to three hours a night, maybe four if I've been lucky....sometimes no sleep at all. I did feel a bit tired at times but not all the time. I'd think nothing of being up and "doing" at 3 o'clock in the morning. I was so much more active. I had energy to burn. I've been expecting things to change but I must admit I am struggling. For the last few nights I've slept solid. I've been ready for my bed at 10 o'clock and slept right through until the alarm goes off at seven. Nine hours without any disturbance. That's a huge difference. You'd think I'd feel better for it. Trouble is I don't . Physically I feel worse. I feel more tired than ever. I feel like someone has literally sucked every last bit of energy out of me. My whole body aches. By the time I've taken the dog out and tidied up a bit I'm ready to sleep again. Yesterday I sat down with a coffee at 9 am and must have nodded off. I woke up two hours later with Libby (my dog) nudging me to get up! I'm sure if it wasn't for her I'd sleep all day and night. Every little thing is a huge effort. It's so frustrating. I can't imagine how people manage to do everything. I can't imagine how I used to look after a child, a husband, a house and garden.....now sometimes it takes such a huge effort just to get myself dressed. I feel about a hundred years old and I look like shit. I found myself crying because I needed to wash my hair and the effort just seemed too much. I find myself crying a lot. I don't really know why. I don't know that there's much I can do about it. I'm trying my hardest to keep going and that's all I can do. I went to my sisters over the weekend and it was a lovely day but by the time I got home I just felt so drained and overwhelmed by it all. I'm trying to keep doing the essential things. I know if I let my flat get in a mess, especially with the dog, I'll get in such a state over it I won't be able to do anything.  It's funny, I always think I've got good insight into my moods, yet it's only after the event I realise the full impact. Even though I was irritable and twitchy when I was "high", I think I'd rather be like that than how I am now......miserable, unmotivated and absolutely exhausted. Of course at the time I was wishing for calm. Now I'm doing everything at a snails pace and there's nothing I can do about it. My mind and body just won't let me go any quicker. What I really need is to be somewhere in between but it's not happening yet. It's so hard when it seems I go from one extreme to another with no real let up in between. I often feel like just giving up but I know I can't. I'm still hopeful that the meds will start working properly again soon. I've felt a lot worse than this before and that in itself gives me a reason not to give up. I might be slow but as long as I don't stop things will be ok eventually.

Pet Therapy


If you're depressed then you're depressed. It's got nothing to do with what your doing or not doing. I agree that having a routine and things to do helps. I agree that shutting yourself away can make things feel worse but depression is an illness. If you have sickness and diarrhoea, carrying on with your daily routine doesn't stop it. Yes you can help yourself by drinking plenty of water and resting but the illness has to take its course. Yes you can help yourself with depression but it's not as simple as just "keeping busy".  There's a big difference between being sad or lonely or bored even and being depressed. 
Whenever I've been "high" it's inevitable that a "low" period follows. The more I learn about bipolar and how it affects me the more I can try to do things to help myself. I think the medication is slowly kicking in again. I'm much less irritated. When I saw my psychiatrist, if he didn't tell me once he told me about 10 times to make sure I keep taking my medication! My GP was the same. Of course now I know that the consequences of no medication are not good I will stick with it. The Lithium at least. 
So, I decided to get a pet. I've never been much of a dog person but my son had the most beautiful Rottweiler and I loved her. My best friend has a puppy and he's brought her so much pleasure. Both my sisters have dogs. Nearly everyone I spoke to thought it would be a good idea. I live on my own and I have so much time on my hands. With my mood so unstable lately work hasn't been a option and it's been doubly hard to get into any sort of "normal" routine. I thought getting a dog would help give me a purpose again as well as some company. 
Well I've had her for just over a week and I have to say what a huge difference she has made to my life already. I just love her. I haven't found having her easy. In fact I have felt quite overwhelmed at times by taking on such a huge responsibility. I am petrified that I'll get really ill again and not be able to cope. I know from experience that I start something and it's all good but then my mood changes and it all goes haywire. I need a back up plan in case anything happens to me but I can't quite work it out yet. The thing is, I am coping now. I have to. I can't let her down. She is totally dependent on me. My mood is low but I am 100% certain that without my new little friend things would be worse. I have to get myself at least partly organised. She has given me a reason to get out of the house, a reason to keep going. Even when I've wanted to shut myself away I've had to do things. She seems to sense if I'm down and snuggles in on my lap and when I cry she snuggles in closer. She helps lift my mood just by being there. I've found myself laughing and smiling at her antics. She's such a clever little thing and each day as I teach her something new I get a huge sense of satisfaction. 
I'm still not sleeping properly but I am going to bed and getting some sleep, which is an improvement. I'm finding it hard to keep on top of everything that needs to be done and sometimes even the simplest thing seems like such huge deal. I get upset that I find life so fucking hard when to most people it seems like I have it easy. I get frustrated with myself for not being able to do everything I think I should be able to do. I have to keep telling myself that it's ok and that I am doing well. I know that it may take some time for my medication to reach its full effect. I also know that medication is only part of what I need to keep me well. I know I have done the right thing by getting my dog. She can't take away my symptoms. She can't "cure" me  anymore than medication can but she's definitely been great "therapy" so far. She's definitely playing a huge part in my recovery. She's definitely given me something to think about other than myself. She's definitely a friend already. 

Pet Therapy


If you're depressed then you're depressed. It's got nothing to do with what your doing or not doing. I agree that having a routine and things to do helps. I agree that shutting yourself away can make things feel worse but depression is an illness. If you have sickness and diarrhoea, carrying on with your daily routine doesn't stop it. Yes you can help yourself by drinking plenty of water and resting but the illness has to take its course. Yes you can help yourself with depression but it's not as simple as just "keeping busy".  There's a big difference between being sad or lonely or bored even and being depressed. 
Whenever I've been "high" it's inevitable that a "low" period follows. The more I learn about bipolar and how it affects me the more I can try to do things to help myself. I think the medication is slowly kicking in again. I'm much less irritated. When I saw my psychiatrist, if he didn't tell me once he told me about 10 times to make sure I keep taking my medication! My GP was the same. Of course now I know that the consequences of no medication are not good I will stick with it. The Lithium at least. 
So, I decided to get a pet. I've never been much of a dog person but my son had the most beautiful Rottweiler and I loved her. My best friend has a puppy and he's brought her so much pleasure. Both my sisters have dogs. Nearly everyone I spoke to thought it would be a good idea. I live on my own and I have so much time on my hands. With my mood so unstable lately work hasn't been a option and it's been doubly hard to get into any sort of "normal" routine. I thought getting a dog would help give me a purpose again as well as some company. 
Well I've had her for just over a week and I have to say what a huge difference she has made to my life already. I just love her. I haven't found having her easy. In fact I have felt quite overwhelmed at times by taking on such a huge responsibility. I am petrified that I'll get really ill again and not be able to cope. I know from experience that I start something and it's all good but then my mood changes and it all goes haywire. I need a back up plan in case anything happens to me but I can't quite work it out yet. The thing is, I am coping now. I have to. I can't let her down. She is totally dependent on me. My mood is low but I am 100% certain that without my new little friend things would be worse. I have to get myself at least partly organised. She has given me a reason to get out of the house, a reason to keep going. Even when I've wanted to shut myself away I've had to do things. She seems to sense if I'm down and snuggles in on my lap and when I cry she snuggles in closer. She helps lift my mood just by being there. I've found myself laughing and smiling at her antics. She's such a clever little thing and each day as I teach her something new I get a huge sense of satisfaction. 
I'm still not sleeping properly but I am going to bed and getting some sleep, which is an improvement. I'm finding it hard to keep on top of everything that needs to be done and sometimes even the simplest thing seems like such huge deal. I get upset that I find life so fucking hard when to most people it seems like I have it easy. I get frustrated with myself for not being able to do everything I think I should be able to do. I have to keep telling myself that it's ok and that I am doing well. I know that it may take some time for my medication to reach its full effect. I also know that medication is only part of what I need to keep me well. I know I have done the right thing by getting my dog. She can't take away my symptoms. She can't "cure" me  anymore than medication can but she's definitely been great "therapy" so far. She's definitely playing a huge part in my recovery. She's definitely given me something to think about other than myself. She's definitely a friend already. 

Pet Therapy


If you're depressed then you're depressed. It's got nothing to do with what your doing or not doing. I agree that having a routine and things to do helps. I agree that shutting yourself away can make things feel worse but depression is an illness. If you have sickness and diarrhoea, carrying on with your daily routine doesn't stop it. Yes you can help yourself by drinking plenty of water and resting but the illness has to take its course. Yes you can help yourself with depression but it's not as simple as just "keeping busy".  There's a big difference between being sad or lonely or bored even and being depressed. 
Whenever I've been "high" it's inevitable that a "low" period follows. The more I learn about bipolar and how it affects me the more I can try to do things to help myself. I think the medication is slowly kicking in again. I'm much less irritated. When I saw my psychiatrist, if he didn't tell me once he told me about 10 times to make sure I keep taking my medication! My GP was the same. Of course now I know that the consequences of no medication are not good I will stick with it. The Lithium at least. 
So, I decided to get a pet. I've never been much of a dog person but my son had the most beautiful Rottweiler and I loved her. My best friend has a puppy and he's brought her so much pleasure. Both my sisters have dogs. Nearly everyone I spoke to thought it would be a good idea. I live on my own and I have so much time on my hands. With my mood so unstable lately work hasn't been a option and it's been doubly hard to get into any sort of "normal" routine. I thought getting a dog would help give me a purpose again as well as some company. 
Well I've had her for just over a week and I have to say what a huge difference she has made to my life already. I just love her. I haven't found having her easy. In fact I have felt quite overwhelmed at times by taking on such a huge responsibility. I am petrified that I'll get really ill again and not be able to cope. I know from experience that I start something and it's all good but then my mood changes and it all goes haywire. I need a back up plan in case anything happens to me but I can't quite work it out yet. The thing is, I am coping now. I have to. I can't let her down. She is totally dependent on me. My mood is low but I am 100% certain that without my new little friend things would be worse. I have to get myself at least partly organised. She has given me a reason to get out of the house, a reason to keep going. Even when I've wanted to shut myself away I've had to do things. She seems to sense if I'm down and snuggles in on my lap and when I cry she snuggles in closer. She helps lift my mood just by being there. I've found myself laughing and smiling at her antics. She's such a clever little thing and each day as I teach her something new I get a huge sense of satisfaction. 
I'm still not sleeping properly but I am going to bed and getting some sleep, which is an improvement. I'm finding it hard to keep on top of everything that needs to be done and sometimes even the simplest thing seems like such huge deal. I get upset that I find life so fucking hard when to most people it seems like I have it easy. I get frustrated with myself for not being able to do everything I think I should be able to do. I have to keep telling myself that it's ok and that I am doing well. I know that it may take some time for my medication to reach its full effect. I also know that medication is only part of what I need to keep me well. I know I have done the right thing by getting my dog. She can't take away my symptoms. She can't "cure" me  anymore than medication can but she's definitely been great "therapy" so far. She's definitely playing a huge part in my recovery. She's definitely given me something to think about other than myself. She's definitely a friend already. 

Pet Therapy


If you're depressed then you're depressed. It's got nothing to do with what your doing or not doing. I agree that having a routine and things to do helps. I agree that shutting yourself away can make things feel worse but depression is an illness. If you have sickness and diarrhoea, carrying on with your daily routine doesn't stop it. Yes you can help yourself by drinking plenty of water and resting but the illness has to take its course. Yes you can help yourself with depression but it's not as simple as just "keeping busy".  There's a big difference between being sad or lonely or bored even and being depressed. 
Whenever I've been "high" it's inevitable that a "low" period follows. The more I learn about bipolar and how it affects me the more I can try to do things to help myself. I think the medication is slowly kicking in again. I'm much less irritated. When I saw my psychiatrist, if he didn't tell me once he told me about 10 times to make sure I keep taking my medication! My GP was the same. Of course now I know that the consequences of no medication are not good I will stick with it. The Lithium at least. 
So, I decided to get a pet. I've never been much of a dog person but my son had the most beautiful Rottweiler and I loved her. My best friend has a puppy and he's brought her so much pleasure. Both my sisters have dogs. Nearly everyone I spoke to thought it would be a good idea. I live on my own and I have so much time on my hands. With my mood so unstable lately work hasn't been a option and it's been doubly hard to get into any sort of "normal" routine. I thought getting a dog would help give me a purpose again as well as some company. 
Well I've had her for just over a week and I have to say what a huge difference she has made to my life already. I just love her. I haven't found having her easy. In fact I have felt quite overwhelmed at times by taking on such a huge responsibility. I am petrified that I'll get really ill again and not be able to cope. I know from experience that I start something and it's all good but then my mood changes and it all goes haywire. I need a back up plan in case anything happens to me but I can't quite work it out yet. The thing is, I am coping now. I have to. I can't let her down. She is totally dependent on me. My mood is low but I am 100% certain that without my new little friend things would be worse. I have to get myself at least partly organised. She has given me a reason to get out of the house, a reason to keep going. Even when I've wanted to shut myself away I've had to do things. She seems to sense if I'm down and snuggles in on my lap and when I cry she snuggles in closer. She helps lift my mood just by being there. I've found myself laughing and smiling at her antics. She's such a clever little thing and each day as I teach her something new I get a huge sense of satisfaction. 
I'm still not sleeping properly but I am going to bed and getting some sleep, which is an improvement. I'm finding it hard to keep on top of everything that needs to be done and sometimes even the simplest thing seems like such huge deal. I get upset that I find life so fucking hard when to most people it seems like I have it easy. I get frustrated with myself for not being able to do everything I think I should be able to do. I have to keep telling myself that it's ok and that I am doing well. I know that it may take some time for my medication to reach its full effect. I also know that medication is only part of what I need to keep me well. I know I have done the right thing by getting my dog. She can't take away my symptoms. She can't "cure" me  anymore than medication can but she's definitely been great "therapy" so far. She's definitely playing a huge part in my recovery. She's definitely given me something to think about other than myself. She's definitely a friend already.