Daily Archives: May 5, 2018

Saturday, Beloved Saturday!

Oh my, how can I convey my joy at making it to another Saturday?!  It is so wonderful to sleep in, take my time drinking too much coffee, and laze around the apartment contemplating what I have to do today.  It’s not much that I have to do, mostly go to Target and the grocery store.  Now is not a good time (noonish) because everydamnone will be there.  So I have time to spare.

Well I got through my second-to-last week at the job with the horrible commute.  One more week left.  Hallelujah!!  Something new I did this week is I got a FitBit knockoff that only cost $25 so I could record all of my steps, and I found out that I’m walking about three miles a day!  That’s really good!  Between that and my spartan diet of just breakfast and lunch (I eat 3/4 of my lunch at lunchtime and the rest on my drive home from work) I lost another three pounds.  YAHOO!!  But man oh man am I dealing with some huge food cravings for junk!!  I am craving McDonald’s and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.  What I realized the last time I ate Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups is that eating some sugar makes me want more sugar.  So it’s best if I stay away from the sugar consumption.

I have always had a sweet tooth and I pretty much ate whatever I wanted without consequences until adulthood, which is when my weight started spiking.  I am super-duper tired of fighting my weight issues and I want to lose the weight for once and for all.  This means I will have to be diligent about not eating crap.  Fuck, I love crappy food.  There, I said it.  I love fried food, I love fast food, and I love sugary food.  But if I want to have a normal weight, I have to give these things up and just see food as fuel, and choose wisely.  It’s tough being the adult.  Dammit!

I do have to say, it’s wonderful not being so self-conscious about my weight like I was.  Twenty three pounds ago, my stomach was soooooooooo fat and I just hated being in my body.  Talk about body prison!!  Now, I don’t hate looking at myself in a mirror.  That is so nice.  I am grateful.

I am nervous about starting the new job in a week or so, because I think it’s going to be non-stop work, work, work with no breaks since they’re so understaffed.  I’m trying to stay in the moment and not think about it.  But it’s there in the back of my mind.  During the interview, one guy told me that he got in 10,000 steps by 10am just moving around the building.  So, that’s a huge positive.  I look forward to getting in major steps.  Other than that, I’ll have to hit the energy drinks big-time.  Sugar-free, of course.  🙂

Well, I guess I will venture off to Target.  Oh!  I forgot a piece of news.  I’m sure I’m not the only Bipolar person with a bankruptcy in her past.  I filed bankruptcy ten years ago after losing my house, one of the most painful experiences of my life.  Since then, I’ve done nothing to rebuild my credit.  I’ve always just had a debit card.  So, last week I applied for a credit card, and lo and behold, I got approved!!!  My credit limit is $300 – HAHAHA!!!  But I will make a small purchase every month and then pay it off, and I’ll slowly build up some positive credit history.  Isn’t that adult of me??  Yeah, it’s about time I do these adult-ish things . . . at 51!!  Anyways, I am encouraged by this little bit of progress.

Toodaloo for now, friends, and be in touch!  Love to you all!  Peach out!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

People with mental illness do recover

I was sitting at the NAMI Ohio Conference today listening to several speakers share their story of living with a mental illness. Two people who had schizophrenia and one person with anxiety and depression. You may have heard of Wil Wheaton. I’m a little embarrassed to say I didn’t really know who he was. Turns out he’s pretty famous.

Anyhow, what struck a nerve was how fluidly the speaker’s discussed their mental health issues. How they each described in intimate detail how their illnesses effected their lives. And yet there they were on stage in front of hundreds of people appearing perfectly “normal.”

One man is an actor performing six shows a week. He works full time, has a fiancé and lives a full life. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his struggles with schizophrenia, but he has a good life.

People recover.

I thought of myself speaking to audiences young and old. I rattle any number of stories about my manic highs and psychotic episodes. And then I talk about having found my purpose as an advocate and speaker. Other than my extremely broad shoulders (lol) I look “normal.” Because contrary to what some people think those of us with mental illness can and do recover.

I never went back to my old life. In fact if I’m honest there was no old life to return. I literally had to start all over. And that’s not such a bad thing. But it’s difficult.

If you’ve landed on my blog tonight looking for encouraging words, I want to tell you you can get better. You can recover. You can live the life you dream about. It might be difficult to get there, but it’s possible.

No matter what circumstance you found yourself in because of your mental illness, you can overcome it. Don’t give up the fight.

People do recover.