Daily Archives: April 18, 2018

I have this feeling……..

Sometime last week this feeling started and it hasn’t gone away. Like something bad is going to happen or someone I love is hurting. But I haven’t figured out what it is. It’s driving me crazy!!

After not having all my meds last month I thought when I got them back I would go back to being ok. But it’s like not taking it changed something inside me and now it doesn’t work the same. I don’t like it because it won’t go away until I figure it out or talk to the right person.

Something else that’s strange is that I have found myself just sitting and watching TV. I’m sure you’re thinking that’s not weird. But it is for me. I basically never sit still and just do one thing. I see or play on my tablet. Something to keep my mind busy. Always. I take my crochet stuff with me to groups, and other outings. If I don’t have that I’m on my phone. It’s scares me a little that that has changed. I can see the benefit and it would be nice to just sit and watch a show. But it’s really not me and I do t like it.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my narcissistic personality disorder diagnosis. I know I need to go into my hole and do my research and make sure I know everything that is possible to know. So that I can talk about it and educate people.

But it scares me. This is different from the bipolar in many ways and I know that. And I don’t know what will happen when I finish my research. Not to mention that in many ways I’m ashamed to tell anyone about this. Our society throws around the word narcissist to the point where everyone seems to be a narcissist and therefore it doesn’t really mean anything.

Next to almost losing my husband this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. This is a personality disorder. Which means it effects me everyday and with every interaction. How am I supposed to figure out what parts of who I am are bad and which ones are good. It’s not like you get a warning or anything. And it’s extremely hard to start looking at your interactions under a microscope and figure out what needs to be changed.

I’m kind of suffering a why me crisis at the moment. No one really sees it because there’s really no point in growing a pity party. But I hate this!! I hate even more that I’m the only one in the family that has this. Because there’s no one that relates and can truly understand. My Mom really tries I think. She listens when I try to explain how I think and how I used to think before being medicated. But none of them know, and that makes it really lonely sometimes. I can try to put this all in a box, and I do. If I didn’t it would consume me. But every once in a while it comes out and it’s pretty bad inside my head. And I kind of get stuck there for a few days or weeks. I am see it and I don’t want to do it, but it’s like I have to. It’s a compulsion that won’t let me go until I face it.

So I have this feeling……

And I’m scared to. face this massive issue. But I know that I have to in order to come out on the other side. So I guess we are going down the rabbit hole……

Don’t wait to get help for mental illness

We all know the signs and symptoms of the common cold, but do you know the signs and symptoms for depression?  Bipolar disorder?  Anxiety?  Don’t wait to get the help you need.  Here’s my most recent television commercial encouraging people to get help.



Countdown to Muskogee . . .2

What to rescue from the Merry Movers tomorrow: cleaning supplies, cat supplies, overnight supplies for one more night in the (empty) apartment.

Last minute chores: prescriptions, laundry, clean out the refrigerator, final trash run, take the modem back to Mediacom (so long for now, Internet).


(Esketamine) Nasal Spray for Depression Relief (!!!!)

Wow! It’s true! This works as a rapid treatment for people with imminent suicidal ideation!!!!! This is huge! This can and will save lives!


Nasal Spray for Depression Relief

NEWS   Apr 17, 2018 | Original Story from the American Psychiatric Association

A nasal spray formulation of ketamine shows promise in the rapid treatment of symptoms of major depression and suicidal thoughts, according to a new study published online today in The American Journal of Psychiatry (AJP).

The double-blind study compared the standard treatment plus an intranasal formulation of esketamine, part of the ketamine molecule, to standard treatment plus a placebo for rapid treatment of symptoms of major depression, including suicidality, among individuals at imminent suicide risk. The study involved 68 participants randomly assigned to one of two groups – either receiving esketamine or placebo twice a week for four weeks. All participants continued to receive treatment with antidepressants throughout. The researchers looked at effects at four hours after first treatment, at 24 hours and at 25 days.

The study was conducted by researchers at Janssen Research and Development and Janssen Scientific Affairs, Titusville, N.J., and San Diego, and the Yale School of Medicine, New Haven, Conn. They found a significant improvement in depression scores and decreased suicidal ideation in the esketamine group compared to the placebo group at four hours and at 24 hours. The esketamine effects were not greater than the placebo at 25 days. The measurement of suicide risk took into consideration both the patient’s and clinician’s perspectives.

The results of the study support nasal spray esketamine as a possible effective rapid treatment for depressive symptoms in patients assessed to be at imminent risk for suicide, according to the authors. Esketamine could be an important treatment to bridge the gap that exists because of the delayed effect of most common antidepressants. Most antidepressants take four to six weeks to become fully effective.

This study was a proof-of-concept, phase 2, study for esketamine; it must still go through a phase 3 study before possible FDA approval. It was funded by Janssen Research and Development, LLC.

The authors caution that more research is needed on the potential for abuse of ketamine. That caution is also the focus of an accompanying AJP editorial also published online today. In the editorial, AJP Editor Robert Freedman, M.D., along with members of the AJP Editorial Board, note the known potential for abuse and existing reports of abuse of prescribed ketamine. They discuss the need for additional research relating to the abuse potential of ketamine during phase 3 trials, such as monitoring of patients’ craving and potential ketamine use from other sources.

While it is the responsibility of physicians to provide a suicidal patient with the fullest range of effective interventions, the AJP Editor’s note, “protection of the public’s health is part of our responsibility as well, and as physicians, we are responsible for preventing new drug epidemics.” The Editors suggest the need for broad input in the development of effective controls on the distribution and use of ketamine.

Freedman and colleagues argue that steps to control the use of ketamine would not be aimed at preventing its use for beneficial purposes but would allow for treatment to “continue to be available to those with need, while the population that is at-risk for abuse is protected from an epidemic of misuse.”

This article has been republished from materials provided by American Psychiatric Association. Note: material may have been edited for length and content. For further information, please contact the cited source.