Daily Archives: September 22, 2017

Because I Don’t Know When To STFU

As the title implies, I don’t know when to shut the fuck up.  Or, maybe, I just don’t like to.  So, the devil on my right shoulder said to me, “Why not email the hiring manager from the job that’s not working out and tell him just how disappointed you are that it’s not working out?” and the angel on my left shoulder must have left to go buy chips or something, so I said “OK let’s do it!” and I popped off an email about how sad I was that the job wasn’t working out, did I do something wrong, couldn’t they hire me as a temp, or could I go through another contracting agency?  WELL!  What I got back was a severe-sounding email, with the Account Manager from the contracting agency cc’ed, saying that they had been working very hard to complete the contract, and progress had been made, and that they hoped to have me on board next week!  Wellllll I just wonder if I changed everyone’s minds with my stupid email!!!  What a way to go into the weekend, feeling one drop hopeful, ten drops stupid as hell!!!  Hey people, if ya wanna know what not to do, just read this blog!!  

Filed under: Bipolar, Bipolar and Crazy, Bipolar and Work, Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Lack Of Impulse Control, Mental Illness, Psychology, Psychology Shmyshmology Tagged: Bipolar, Blogging, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Psychology, Reader

Please Listen To My First Podcast!

Hi everyone and Happy Friday! Last Monday I recorded my first podcast with Dr. Katayune Kaeni.”Dr. Kat” is the host of the popular podcast Mom and Mind. She’s a psychologist & has lived experience in Perinatal Mental Health Training, Advocacy, Treatment, and Stigma Crushing!!! Dr. Kat was a wonderful and patient host. I couldn’t have asked … Continue reading Please Listen To My First Podcast!

Back In The Saddle Again

Well I am back in the groove of looking for a job.  I have contacted three people who had previously contacted me regarding jobs (I had said I had a job) and one of them so far would like to setup a phone interview for Monday.  YEAH!!  It’s not exactly what I want to do, but it’s a Security-related company, so it’s going in the right direction.

I’m still very, very down about this whole situation, and I slept like shit.  I got obsessed in the middle of the night with the idea of suing this contracting company for lost wages and pain and suffering, and I got so worked up that I had to get up for awhile.  Interrupted sleep is not good for us people with Bipolar, as you know, so I’m feeling a bit fragile today.  But I am determined to spend the day looking for another job, so I can go into the weekend feeling like I have some new irons in the fire.  UPDATE:  After a couple of hours, my willingness is flagging.  I have applied for *one* job.  Oh holy angels, help me!  I just tried to apply for a Desktop Support job, and when I got to a question about why I am uniquely qualified for the job, I just said “fuck it” and closed the window.  Should I start drinking now???

I don’t know why life is testing me like this, and why things can’t just be smooth, I guess it’s just how life goes sometimes.  But I am NOT joyful.  I need to just focus on moving on, NOT on suing the contracting company.  I don’t want to get caught up in all of that negativity and stress.  That’s just something my frustrated brain came up with in the middle of the night.  I think about Hustler, and how grateful I am that I didn’t get that job, and maybe someday I’ll be grateful that I didn’t get this job, because there’s something better out there for me.  That’s what I’m hoping for.

Hope you all had a good week.  Fall is here in Colorado, it’s supposed to get chilly and rain all weekend, bleh!  Peach out homies!  BPOF!


Filed under: Bipolar, Bipolar and Stress, Bipolar and Work, Bipolar Disorder, Psychology, Psychology Shmyshmology Tagged: Bipolar, Blogging, Depression, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Psychology, Reader

Happy Birthday to ME!

I listened in to my birthday present today–the first of a LOT of movie soundtracks of Elvis Presley.  I sang along to GI Blues on the way to work this morning, That made me very happy driving along and remembering watching the movie with Daddy.

I gave a test today and grades were somewhat better,  People did pull their grade up so that was good. The class average was still a C, which means it was a fair test.  Some gimme questions were interestingly answered–but answered correctly so that was all right.

I’m supposed to meet Janet for lunch at Half Shell Oyster House, so I am looking forward to that for lunch.  Seafood pot pie–yummy!

And my girls are coming hoem to celebrate my birthday with me Sunday where we go out to a really really good restaurant in Jackson called 1908. So I am proud to see them

And I’ve lost seven pounds since Labor Day doing nothing but cutting Cokes out of my diet and drinking lots and lots of water.  I get some exercise on campus but I’m still terribly winded with it.  I don’t know what to do about that.

SO here’s hoping everyone else is having as good a day a me today.  Have a good weekend!