Daily Archives: July 6, 2017

The endocannabinoid system: an explanation for cannabis enthusiasts

Here’s a treat for your brain.  Knowledge is power…learn up!


Body, Not Brain

I have been rubbish about checking in here… sorry about that. But like, most of my problems these days have been physical rather than mental. Even with having been putting up with a bullying situation in my social group, the stress and upset in response to that has been minimal and within ‘normal’ tolerance.

My body, on the other hand, is fired. My chronic fatigue levels are so high that I don’t really manage to blog anything but my daily blog. That includes reading other blogs — I still care, but I don’t have the spoons to act on it really. I can wish for a miracle and hope that it will improve somehow, but I’ve been dealing with it for 21 years, and it tends to keep getting worse. Add in my back pain, which has existed nearly as long (and since I was a stick figure of a teenager), and I’ve got the walking stick style down pat.

I still would say I have a pretty good quality of life though. I still get my knitting and gaming done. I still get my ‘required’ daily writing done. I don’t murder the children, I am productive at work — but all of that takes most of what I have. I can’t say that I’m regretful or upset though, because like… that’s wasting spoons I don’t have. I certainly hope that it comes around (see paragraph previous, redux, blah blah blah).

So, what does it mean for around here? I don’t know. I’m not closing down the blog or the network, even if they’re both getting neglected. I firmly believe that both are still important, and it’s more a matter of finding a way to work this space and you lovely people back in, because even if I’m not wasting time on regret, I still miss you folk. But we’ll see.

For now, I scoot.


Just Waking Up

Well, I got about half of what I wanted to accomplish yesterday; I got the car and the groceries taken care of but not the swimming–my youngest wound up going with her grandmother for a while that afternoon.  And I wound up going to sleep.

I really hate this.  I was just so out of it and I’m not sure why  except maybe my meds acting on me a little strongly.  I got up at three and got a bit done but I just so desperately want to be done with bipolar disorder. But I can’t be. I just need to make the best life possible out of what I’ve got.  At least that was the first  time in a while I’ve done that.  So I just need to make sure it doesn’t happen again soon.

Chatted with Dr. Elliott at Belhaven yesterday.  I explained what all I could do and what all I would like to do, and he asked me to send my CV over to him.  SO maybe something will come out of that.  I just need pray for God’s will to be done.