Monthly Archives: June 2017

The Roadkill and Gender Differences

My husband and I were driving down the road, and there was a roadkill opossum off to the side. This conversation happened:

Me: Wow, a dead opossum. It really makes you think, doesn’t it?

Andy: Yes, definitely.

Me: It’s like, one day you’re just walking along, going about your business, and then suddenly – SPLAT! – it’s all over. It shows how fragile life really is, you know? We need to live each day to the fullest, make the most of every moment, because you never know when it could all be over. This really puts things into perspective. We need to stress less and live better. Have fun. Enjoy the day while we still have time left on earth.

Andy: *looks at me like I’m an alien*

Me: Uh…was that not what you were thinking?

Andy: No. When you said, “it makes you think,” it made me think, “Huh, there must be a lot of opossums that live around here.”

THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is a perfect example of how my husband and I are different. I was going to write some further commentary, but I don’t even think it’s necessary. The conversation speaks for itself.

Happy Wednesday, y’all!


Sinking Stone: How Bipolar Drags Us Down

Ready. Set. Sail! So I guess I should say something. I haven’t in a while. Intensive outpatient has been keeping me busy. But I’m done with that now. I have a job…well…HAD a job. I quit yesterday. I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt like of the two other new girls they hired, I was … More Sinking Stone: How Bipolar Drags Us Down

Wow!

Check out my good news in the About section of my blog in the comments.  And go check out other bipolar bloggers you can read at the link on my new badge in my sidebar.

TOday is laundry day so that will be fun.  And my middle one starts packing for college supposedly today. I feel pretty good about that so far. I hope I can hold it together for her.  But she’s ready–been ready for a while.  So I think it will all go well.

Very sleepy this morning.  Not sure what that’s about.  Took my medicine so hopefully that will start to ease off. I’m going to lunch with Mary Jane tomorrow.  I need more human interaction than I’m getting lately. So that will be fun.

Hope everyone has a good rest of the week.


Bipolar1Blog Chosen Top 100 Bipolar Disorder Blogs on Feedspot.com

I just opened an email that informed me that I have been chosen as one of the top 100 bipolar disorder blogs on Feedspot.com! It’s an extensive list. Pretty amazing! Congratulations to all my fellow bipolar bloggers for being chosen for this!

http://blog.feedspot.com/bipolar_disorder_blogs/


Reblog – Addiction – Part 1

Originally posted on A Tony Of All Trades:
#addiction #Impulse #Debt #BuyItNow DON’T READ THIS!!! You don’t have any addictions. I can stop any time I want. It has been a hard day, you deserve a treat. It’s not hurting…

2+2 equals fish

I know, I know. WTF is with that title? Just one of those quirky things that happen when you have a small kid. I tried to explain to Spook how it is more cost effective to get 20 cookies for a dollar versus 4 tiny candy bars for a dollar. And she said, “Two plus two equals fish.” And it just hit me as being really funny. Not that I had a laugh or anything. NOPE.

Because pms week has arrived and I am crampy and my emotions are out of whack and like the grown up I am, I am practicing avoidance behavior concerning R. I cannot deal with someone that broken right now. And yeah, he has the successful life and dozens of friends and nice cars and blah blah blah…But the fact he can’t be supportive and he can’t allow me to have emotions without treating me like I am suffering from ebola…He is the broken one. Not the devil but also…Not bringing much positive to the table.

The depression still has a stranglehold, but at least it’s no longer the suicidal depression. MY lawn needs mowed and I can’t seem to get off my ass and do it. But at least my house is only biohazard 2, mostly because, ha ha ha, I broke the vacuum again.

The anxiety and exhaustion are at fever pitch, courtesy of my uber popular kid and all her friends being in my face (even if from a distance) 24-7…MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM. And the kids always asking for our food when I can barely afford to feed my own kid and then I gotta feel like a stingy monster for saying no, I can’t feed 5 different kids every single day.

I still haven’t had my lithium level drawn and checked. I am gonna ask to be taken off of it. Lamictal does fine as long as I’m not on mania overlord…as for the Cymbalta…I think it’s curtains. Maybe the nurse practitioner can suggest a newer one. SOMETHING has got to get me out of the abyss. Like the start of school and oh, R getting called back to his work so I can be free of parts this, parts that, do this, do that. What can I say, I feel indebted and on a good day, ordering shit from home isn’t too taxing. On the bad days, the demands, the expectations…it’s too fucking much and I melt down. And when I am all hormonal and feeling every emotion to the nth degree but I can’t even speak to the man because he will make it all about him being right and me being lazy or too emotional or whatever excuse that makes him not responsible for anything.

But that could be the pms talking. THough after 6 years…I am doubting it. The feelings have remained the same, only the intensity changes. I’ll own that. I will NEVER be okay with people who refuse to accept me, moods and feelings and all, while expecting me to accept their shitty qualities.

Sad to say, the ones guiltiest of this…are my own family.


Sorry So Late

I blew an appointment today–I had a time to get my hair cut and colored and forgot about it. SO I had to run out and do that in a hurry, But it’s done and I don’t have to worry about it again until August 1.

I feel like I could sleep all day.  I dreamed that I was working as an assistant in a elementary school classroom and I woke up exhausted like I really had spent a day at work.

It feels like a long day already, I really do want to go to sleep..  I don’t have a lot I have to do today so I just might take a nap after lunch.,  Depends on what is going on.

I’ve sent out some more stuff yesterday so we will see how it turns out.   I think I have 20 pieces circulating as of right now.  Hopefully something will hit he wall and stick 🙂

Hope everyone is having a good start to their week.  I appreciate all my readers and look forward to seeing more of you as time goes by.  Have a good day.

 


People Who Think About Suicide …

Originally posted on Good Content:
[Extract from an article from Mental Health Matters – the South African Depression and Anxiety Group‘s magazine.] People who are thinking about suicide might ……

Survival

“Remember why you came and while you’re alive to experience the warmth before you go” – Incubus “The Warmth” I struggle on most days with my responsibilities at home. Parenthood is very difficult for me and something I feel like I’m getting worse at with each passing day. There are times when I get unreasonably […]

Feeling the Loss

I look for her
Around each corner
Listen for her
In the wind
Wait for her
In strands of sunlight
Call out to her
As darkness falls
Lose sleep to her
In the midnight hours
Cry a tear for her
As I feel this loss
Remember her
As the friend she was
Pray for her
As she rests in peace