I’m not terribly given to introspection lately, because it seems like there is nothing good to see there. I still maintain that it’s not necessary and that it is delusional to go around trying to be positive about everything and denying the existence of any negative thoughts/feelings/events.
The doctors are talking about a new drug that maybe I could try, but I keep forgetting to fill out the stupid paperwork for it. It’s not that I don’t want to fill it out, it’s that the meds seriously make me forget most everything I intend to do. I am considering actually talking about this to my doctor, and, who knows?, maybe trying some other medication to counter the effects of that. No more fucking anti-depressants though, and I’m also hesitant to consider mood stabilizers, and that would be fucking with my entire personality and sense of self.
Last therapist suggested it very much resembles ADD, but I haven’t really talked to the regular doctor about it. I usually just go there when I have to, in order to get my asthma meds refilled.
But I suppose, at this point, any change could be a good thing. I see the endocrinologist soon, and I also have to make an appointment with my PCP.