Oh, Glory! The book that came with our class (I’m sure you know what class but it is Certified Ethical Hacker) is an absolute piece of shit, basically the slide-deck that the teacher uses each night for class. It’s all graphics and bullet points and no actual substance. So, I bought a book from Amazon to help me study for the certification. And the REAL grind has begun. Again. I know now what it takes to get a certification, it takes giving it your ALL. I have been reading the new book ALL DAY. I created a calendar with a schedule of how many chapters I need to finish per week and it’s fucking intense! This fucking studying is some lonely business!! I know it’s time-limited, but my feelings don’t know that. I just feel lonely and super-tired of studying and I want to do something else. I know, I know, where’s the gratitude? For this great opportunity? Well, I’ve lost it. Perspective, out the window. I need to get it back and be able to buckle down and focus and do this. Ok, Ok, I’m ahead of schedule. I had one chapter as this week’s goal and I’m on Chapter 2. I just want to be done and certified already. I need to be ok with this process. I don’t know if I have it in me to do this again. I think I need a hug.
Filed under: Bipolar, Bipolar and Learning, Bipolar and Overambitious Tagged: Bipolar, Bipolar Disorder, Blogging, Certified Ethical Hacker, Depression, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Psychology, Reader