Daily Archives: April 4, 2017

A Much Needed Walk

I am walking with myself. Alongside myself. Accepting myself. Forgiving myself. A trusted friend believes in the power of a labyrinth.  As each wave of emotion, shame, regret and fear continuously hit me last week, I reached out to said friend.  A walk amongst the cluster of redwoods on a dedicated path where I put one foot in front of the other was needed. A place of release. A place to regain my footing. A place to begin trusting myself again.  A place to move at my own pace in mind, body and breath.

The manic residue was slowly fading away.  I sat with my wonderful friend and recounted every detail.  Let the words fly on the wind. Be absorbed into the soil beneath our feet.  On my solitary walk I envisioned all the negative energy rushing from the top off my head high into the sky. Evaporating in the suns brilliant rays. I chanted I shall be released. I chanted I am full of forgiveness.  Deep cleansing breaths carried me around the maze. I trusted my existence for the first time in several weeks.  I tuned out the chaotic chatter that likes to keep me company focusing on the present moment.  Hearing the crunch of leaves as I stepped left then right.  The cool air under the giant trees was soothing.  Calming.  As the path continued to unfold and I reached the center, I truly felt centered.

I didn’t think about the episode, the people I affected, the guilt…what feels like consequences the rest of the day.  This was no ordinary walk in the woods.  It was a gift.


Runaround

Today’s going to be busy with me getting ready for the trip.  I need to do Bob’s laundry so that he is taken care of for the week; I told my middle one that she is responsible for her own laundry this week.  I need to finish packing and then go get stamps for graduation invitations so Bob can mail them off after the middle one finishes with them.  I have the addressed and ready to go out.  At least I got grocery shopping done yesterday and my laundry done.  I need to start sorting out fall and spring clothes and will try to finish my laundry today so that is taken care of.  But that is a low priority.

Whew.  I plan to take my computer along so I can keep up with my classes and what people say about my work this week.  That’s going to be a little complicated but not too bad,  I’ll carry a bigger purse and just keep my tablet with me all day but only sign on at night at the hotel.  So we will see what happens.  I am going to take my Xanax in case I need it but I don’t anticipate needing it.

So if it’s going to be a long day I guess I’d better get with it.  See you all tomorrow!