Daily Archives: March 21, 2017

People who give unwanted advice

ill

I think it should specifically state “mental illness,” too, even if it’s implied in the chronic illness category.

Exercise doesn’t necessarily improve or cure mental illness. Also, it is very likely they have already considered it. And for some people, doing it is difficult. People with limited mobility may obviously have a hard time exercising, but also people with mental illnesses which make it harder for them to get out and do things. Also applies to yoga.

As for marijuana, if it helps you with whatever, great. But please quit telling me (and others who don’t want your advice) to just smoke pot and it will cure all your ills. For some people, it makes things worse. For others, it may not do anything positive.

Stopping all medications: good gawd. I’ve been told this so many times, by so many people. “Don’t you think you’d feel a lot better if you’d just stop taking all the pills?” No, dipshit, because I’d be dead. I need corticosteroids to replace the hormones my body doesn’t make, which are necessary for me to continue being alive. This also goes for people who take psychiatric drugs. Any time a person mentions a negative side effect from a psych drug, the anti-psych meds people have a field day. “The ‘cure’ is worse than the disease!” etc. I’ve had some tell me that NO ONE, as in no one in the history of mankind, has EVER been helped by a psychiatric drug. [*facepalm*] They are so anti-drug, and they apparently see everything in such black and white terms, that they don’t comprehend that some things have positive and negative sides. A pill might give you a dry mouth, but if it helps you to function better, it may be worth it.

Vitamins: the only time you need to be supplementing vitamins is if your doctor has diagnosed you with a legitimate deficiency through blood tests. Otherwise, you’re paying for expensive pee.

Natural remedies: many DRUGS came from plants and other natural sources. The difference is that medications are regulated, tested, and you know how much active ingredient you are getting. They are safer. Alternative medicine which has been shown to work is called “medicine.” Alternative “medicine” has either not been shown to work, or shown not to work. It is possible that people want medicines that actually work.

Going veg*n: I have nothing against people who do this for their own reasons, but it’s problematic to push on others. If you do not feel the need to do so for ethical reasons or whatever, then there is probably no problem with continuing to eat animal products. A lot of the arguments (other than ethics) seem to come back to a sort of black and white thinking: the inability to understand that moderation is a thing that exists. If a huge amount of red meat can be bad, that doesn’t mean a little bit here and there will kill you. Additionally, just eliminating meat or animal products, on its own, does not guarantee that your diet is healthy.

Acupuncture: it has never been shown to work better than placebo.

Colon cleansing: no, not sticking hoses up my butt. This has also never been shown to be healthy.

Sleep: some people have trouble getting the amount of sleep they want, but you talking about getting more or less probably won’t help in any way. This is another thing that everyone has already thought of.

Positivity is really my biggest peeve on here. If you say that, people accuse you of being a champion of negativity or something. No, I am just saying thinking happy thoughts does not cure physical or mental illness. You can’t think these things away, or no one would have them.

This goes along with the people who say “the only disability is a negative attitude!” No, disabilities fucking exist and they can make life harder for people who have them. And yet you get people with no physical disabilities, no learning disabilities, no other major issues, talking down on people for not being positive enough because that’ll fix everything. It minimizes the fact that some people legitimately may have obstacles keeping them from doing some things, or performing as well, doing things are quickly, etc. as people without those issues. Again, this is not saying people with disabilities should sit around feeling sorry for themselves; this is acknowledging that their disabilities exist and may impact their lives in some way.

The Many Faces of Bipolar

I lay here curled under the covers at 1pm. Motionless I stare at the curtain blocking the world out.  Sometimes I think it ripples feeling the breeze against the window.  The overnight rain has subsided but I guess there’s more to come. The dark cloud of depression has settled itself in my room.  Stretching out. Getting comfortable.  The air feels thinner now.  It’s a struggle to breath. In fact, everything is a struggle.

This thick veil of blankets used to weigh me down. But in this moment I think it’s my very existence causing undue pressure. I repeat over and over how sorry I am. Sorry for the burden I’ve become. The trouble I seem to cause. The constant worry you shoulder.  The fear of not knowing who I’m going to be when you arrive home: angry or agitated or manic or depressed. Or worse yet,cycling through them all.

My voice 12 octaves higher signaling I’m manic. Not to mention all the projects I’ve started in the last 8 hours. Honey! Honey I wrote a song today. It’s really good. You are going to like it. Racing around w paint in my hair. Look at the colors in this. I don’t know how I did it. Came out great, right?

My lifeless body on the couch. Can barely muster a hello. Can’t muster a how was your day dear. This is where I was when you left this morning.  No, I haven’t eaten. I’m just not hungry. No I didn’t shower again, I’m so tired.

The echo throughout the house of my rage shakes the pictures. Scares the cat.  Nothing you say is right. I’m not fucking hungry alright. Leave it alone. Why don’t you cook once in a while for gods sakes! I clean and I clean and look at this mess. I don’t know why I bother.

You wipe away the never ending tears fielding my questions: what happened? I was doing everything right. I mean, wasn’t I? I’m a good person, aren’t I? I don’t mean to be this way, cause so much pain.  I don’t understand. Why now? Why? I don’t think I can live like this anymore

The many faces of bipolar.


Experiment

So I start the experiment with Blue Apron today.  It’s a food delivery service that brings fresh food to your house and directions on how to cook it.  Hopefully it will come in time for me to cook it for dinner tonight.  Bob started making noise about wanting new recipes so we are experimenting with this service.

So I go to my therapist today–we will see how it goes.  I am awake and stayed awake this morning but don’t have much motivation to do anything before I go.  I’ve checked everything on the computer and finished all my work for class so that is no longer a burden.  I’m waiting for a lot of acceptances/rejections still–I have about 20 open submissions that I won’t hear from for a while still.  I’m just impatient, I guess.

I need to run get ready for my appointment so I will leave this post as is.  Not having anything exciting to tell can make for slow reading, but I feel like bipolar has given me enough excitement for a life time.  I’m ready for some slow days.

 

 

 


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