Daily Archives: December 25, 2016

Blogmas 2016 – Merry Christmas To All!

Day 25 So it is here! This will not be a long post as I have projects waiting for me in the kitchen. I just wanted to post before I forgot. We are by no means celebrating a “normal Christmas”. … Continue reading

Blogmas 2016 – Merry Christmas To All!

Day 25 So it is here! This will not be a long post as I have projects waiting for me in the kitchen. I just wanted to post before I forgot. We are by no means celebrating a “normal Christmas”. … Continue reading

Happy Holidays…I Think

As Christmas arrives, I’m definitely struggling to keep up appearances. This is supposed to be the happiest time of the year; it’s not anyone else’s fault that I’m sad. But I did lose it with my son-in-law this afternoon, and cried into his sleeve for what seemed like an hour. Thank Heaven for him, he always seems to be there with strong arms at my worst moments and even though he doesn’t know exactly how I feel, he gets it somehow, and he is an amazing source of comfort. So Clark, if you’re reading this, God bless you!

It also reminded me of how incredibly fortunate I am to be surrounded by family, not only at Christmas but all through the year. I don’t always hear from some of my children as often as I’d like, but I know they still care about me even though their father is gone. And despite missing my home—and the holidays we spent there—I’m actually glad I’m not rattling around there all by myself. The last Christmas in that house, without lights or trees or decorations, was the worst one of my life and I don’t think I’d do well if I were faced with a similar situation now.

I have so many wonderful memories of Christmases past. That’s why it’s so hard to accept that Christmas has changed, and that I have to change with it. But those memories are something that no one, and no circumstances, can ever take away from me…and now it’s time to make new ones.

To my readers: Thanks for hanging in there with me through good times and bad, thick and thin, manic and depressed. May your holiday season be merry and bright, and may the New Year bring you all good things.🙂


The Green Eyed Monster

Danny Ray over at Dream Big, Dream Often always asks the best questions. Today’s question was Are you an envious person?. Feel free to go on over and give Danny your own take on it. I am not doing this as … Continue reading

The Green Eyed Monster

Danny Ray over at Dream Big, Dream Often always asks the best questions. Today’s question was Are you an envious person?. Feel free to go on over and give Danny your own take on it. I am not doing this as … Continue reading

“Is She Here?”

It is still Christmas Eve here and we didn’t make it to the Candlelight Service. I only got a couple of hours sleep last night and I knew that if I went out tonight I would probably not be able … Continue reading

“Is She Here?”

It is still Christmas Eve here and we didn’t make it to the Candlelight Service. I only got a couple of hours sleep last night and I knew that if I went out tonight I would probably not be able … Continue reading

“Is She Here?”

It is still Christmas Eve here and we didn’t make it to the Candlelight Service. I only got a couple of hours sleep last night and I knew that if I went out tonight I would probably not be able … Continue reading

Definition of racing thoughts 

We don’t really have any Christmas Eve traditions in our family. I may have to look into changing that over the next couple years. 

Anyway, I am sitting here thinking about my thoughts. I probably wouldn’t be if my husband and I hadn’t had this exchange. “I tell him I am going to the store after some more candy for the stockings. He said, ” I only went to get you some doctor peppers for tomorrow since we probably won’t leave the house tomorrow and I didn’t see you already bought some until after.”

I know you’re thinking great story. My husband and I discussed our food menu today too. Lol

As soon as he got done saying that I looked at the counter and laughed. I bought those 2 liters yesterday as in over 24 hours ago and he didn’t see them. My first thought in my head was how can he go a whole day and not look at the counter that faces the doorway. Seriously to me you have to TRY not to look. 

My next thought was that I have known I was different, like really different, for as long as I can remember. And when I physically watch someone’s mind work in a completely different  way it blows my mind, every time!!! 

Oh to be the person who can look straight at a counter numberous times in a day and not see something sitting in plain sight. It’s not too much of a jump for me to start to see where that difference comes. People really do live their lives without constant and intrusive thoughts flying around. If you ask me those people are blessed not to have to live in the land of never ending thoughts. 

But I have also seen how life would have to be so boring if you actually stop thinking about things. I can see how it’s obsessive, sure, but I think I might lose my mind if I spend too much time literally not thinking or talking. Although of course I can’t be sure because you can’t really prove a negative. 

But hey it seems to make sense to me. We can’t just slow down enough to be content and enjoy life. We have to have that constant focus or purpose in the future and in everyday. I always feel that in some way I have make an impact on something real everyday. I may not always succeed but even chores and such sometimes I do them when I don’t have to. The same way I sometimes hear conversations in my head that are only truly MY thoughts. What I think someone will say or do if I act or say what I’m going to say. There is no way to predict that. I have got to learn to let go and just take the time to live. And realize that it’s ok and that there doesn’t always have to be a purpose, or something to do. Being still and enjoy the little things and my family is the most important thing I need to do. 

So for a little while tomorrow I will be with my family and laugh and eat and spend time together we will never get back. If I can do that. At least for a while there is hope for even greater things to come
Be blessed!! 

If you aren’t feeling blessed right now because life is kicking you please know there are people who think about and pray for you daily. If you need someone to talk to please message me on Facebook or send me an email.