Goals: A Year Away

goal

So a couple of weeks ago I got depressed over some of the stuff in my blog. A year ago in August and then TWO years ago in August, my life had not changed much. Sort of two wasted years.

So my talk therapist said “Let’s make a list of goals…how you would like your life to look next August?”

I worked on the list and this is what I came up with so far:

-taking physical health issues in stride using CBT (no crying at the doctor’s).

-taking some classes in things to improve or learn new skills: quilting, line dancing, bowling, cooking. I am hoping to find some healthy/ diabetic cooking classes so I could entertain people with a dinner party, etc.

-starting a face/ skin care routine

-going to the vast majority of parties and events I am invited to

-rarely cancelling on an appointment or social activity

-losing 50 pounds (8 pounds a month)

-going on a major trip (New Orleans)? Using CBT to help with fear of flying

-driving around town freely, including freeways and at night

-learning to use the DVR’s in the den and bedroom

-only using Klonopin prn

-get financial info from husband: how to handle checking, retirement accounts, pension, disability, etc.

-3 sessions of 45 min walking per week (treadmill or neighborhood)

-2 yoga classes a week

-volunteer once a week somewhere

-do more one-time things at church, such as dinners or volunteer work

-try three new spas

-dress up more when going out of the house

-staying alone as long as needed without calling husband because I am nervous

That’s what I came up with.

Thurs:

Well, today is a big deal! Danny has a job interview this afternoon. I am really hoping he gets it. If he does, we will have him settled in two areas: school and work. The third area is finding him a place to live. (Our house is his temporary landing pad, but we are all hoping for an apartment somewhere.)

Went to the diet doctor and lost 3 pounds. Wished it was more but it is a start. I have 20 days to lose another 5 to hit my goal of eight per month. I have been cheating here and there with bread and peanut butter, but I am really hungry. Just keep plugging along I guess.

Fri:

Good news! Danny got the job! He starts next week. Whew!

Feeling pretty tired this morning. Not depressed, just worn out.

Saw my CBT therapist yesterday. We decided I need to get practicing on the driving more. I am doing really well on riding without fear. I plan on driving a couple of places ALONE in the next few days.

Sat:

Am absolutely starving! I am ready to chew my arm off. My doctor on this liquid diet says 70% of people have no hunger. Well, I must be in the 30%. My husband says the real issue is my med, Rexulti, which causes hunger and weight gain. I feel a little overwhelmed with the whole thing. But I am just desperate to stand on that scale next Thursday and have lost 2 or 3 pounds. I’m allowed to have chicken broth and that helps.

Our upstairs air conditioner is out. So we are all camping downstairs. I am happy as a clam on my couch. It will take a few days to get the parts to fix it. Thank god fans were invented.

I am going to a meeting at church today. A good sign that I am feeling better.

Had a friend over to watch more Olympics last night. One of my goals for next August is a skin care routine. This friend sells cosmetics at a department store and I like one of the brands there. So I’m going in Tuesday to add a product or two to my skin. It certainly could use it. I’ll just start using it a bit and gradually build up. It’s a good goal.

I thought of a new goal….social media. I am not on any. I don’t know how to use it too well. I really hate Facebook. So I was thinking maybe I could learn to use Instagram or something. Maybe I could use something on this blog. I have no idea. Or I could learn to tweet. Am I too old?

Sun:

One of those really tired days I have. Yesterday I kept up pretty well…. I went to the church meeting (it was ultra dull), and took Danny out to get his pants and shoes for his new job. I think we have Danny set for school and work, except for his books.

I woke up with a mild headache but took some Tylenol and drank some chicken broth. Just feeling worn out. Unloaded the dishwasher but haven’t loaded it yet.

Feeling good mentally, but still having some issues with this liquid diet. Had a very sick tummy yesterday. Just kept sipping water and doing deep breathing. I REALLY want to hold on and stabilize on this Optifast. Losing the weight is just so important.

We’ll see how I am doing tomorrow.

Mon:

It’s 11 am and not too great of a day so far. I’m glad I had nothing really scheduled for today.

I woke up with a headache again. I know it is somehow connected to the liquid diet. I got online and read about carb withdrawal and caffeine withdrawal. I am also suffering from nausea.

I’m frustrated. I knew I’d have to basically go without food and my life would change but I didn’t sign up for the headache, diarrhea, and nausea. I am hoping desperately that some of this is just an adjustment period. This is Day 11, though, and I’d think I’d be settled down by now.

My Optifast doctor is okay but he is not the most sympathetic. Which is irritating as his services are totally out of pocket.

My 28 year old daughter is on a complaining kick. She doesn’t think she is paid enough (she is a teacher) and she doesn’t think she has enough friends. However, from my end, she doesn’t make much effort to make friends. I just have my plate full without listening to her. She says she wants to move out of state where teachers make more money. I would miss her, but I think she needs to do what is right for her. Sigh.

So I am an unhappy camper today. I am going to ask in my prayers to simply wake up with no headache tomorrow. Just something simple.

Tues:

Well, God answers prayer but I wasn’t specific enough. I did not wake up with a headache but DID wake up with serious abdominal pain. Now the doctor thinks I may be lactose intolerant. That’s a surprise as I always drank milk, etc. with no problems. What a mess!

When I feel physically down, I get mentally down really fast. I seem to get stuck in a mindset where I will always be sick and never feel better. This makes me feel hopeless.

I just feel overwhelmed today.

let’s hope next week stays good all the way through….

lily

Comments are closed.