Daily Archives: August 6, 2016

Lividity

You will see less posts from me now. Both my laptop’s won’t access the net. My other two computers are not functional. I am stuck with a fifty dollar tablet that moves at dial up speed and this ten dollar droid phone which is wifi rather than phone. Using this with a stylus has me cross eyed. I cannot write this way. It hurts. I need a new laptop,plain and simple. And by new, I mean windows seven,used. I did the math on my budget and even tho some used computers are’cheap’ …The law frowns upon buying a cheap computer over paying bills and feeding/clothing your kid.

That means I am SOL. 

I have been a basket case all day. I feel like that chick from Misery hobbled me. All these assholes around me pressured me to get the donor for child support,yet Spook and I are poorer than we have ever been.

Lividity is normally  a term used for the dead.

Not being able to write…I may as well be dead. Call me a whiny spoiled brat.

The net is my therapy and without it, I do fear a downward spiral.

Suckage.


Nantucket Blues


Brain-Sick

I'm Not OkayThere’s nothing new to say about rapid cycling mixed states.  I’ve railed against them and given in, pulled out every tool in my toolbox and given up, called for help and stayed silent, pushed against the maggoty words they whisper in my ear and believed every word.  My response to the turmoil in my head has been as varied as my illness.

But if anything is new, it must be the time it takes me to accept, breathe, and allow whatever my head and body chemistry need to do.  And I’ve gathered a larger support network around me, so that when I call for help (usually a few texts back and forth) I don’t have to burden the same few friends over and over.  Spread the horror, that’s my Emergency Motto.

Thank you, all my Go-To People, who get those scary/sad/frantic texts and respond with such kindness and love.  You make all the difference.

Thank you for riding shot-gun on my Adventure.

 


30 Days of Sandy Sue Altered: 12

LGBTQ

Real Joy

Quantum Entanglement

Pink Smoke


Reblog – Meet and Greet: 8/6/16

Originally posted on DREAM BIG DREAM OFTEN:
It’s the Meet and Greet weekend!! Ok so here are the rules: Leave a link to your page or post in the comments of this post. Reblog this post.  It helps you, it…

Deviation is BAD for mental health

I had wanted to do a long ranty post about the last two days. Since Mediacom is being a dick and giving “now ya see it,now ya don’t” service….(to the point it even impacted school registration)….I am gonna do a brief post, lest my brain implode from life’s deviations and it’s pressures.

Know what is worse than a bad mental health day?

A bad mental health day with no internet.

The last two days have been infuriating. Like, brain exiting the skull infuriating.

I am mindful that I am hormonal thus more prone to quick anger and irritation.

Does not change the fact that certain things are supposed to go a certain way. The world wants ME to behave consecutively in spite of my disorder. I expect the same.

I am repeatedly reminded I am in the wrong.

Every fiber of my being wants to scream FUUUCKKK YOU!

Is that mature and logical?

Probably not.

Still…I( RELATE. An adage told to me when I was but 13 was…”fuck ’em ad feed ’em to the fish”.

Accurate? Nah. Rude? Hells, yeah.

No less true.

I am all for “rules” that protect us all from being murdered based on eye color, hair color, religious affiliation..

EXCEPT

when it denies American citizens of their legal rights, old or “new”.

I am aware this point of view makes me a “problem child”.

I just don’t give a flying, leaping cartwheel.

Castigate me. Dismiss me.

I stand by what I believe.

Some inform me this makes me “courageous”.

Personally…I think it makes me…

AMERICAN.

 


Horrible At Making Decisions

Last night I missed writing my blog because I was too stoned to give a shit.  Honestly I thought about it then just didn’t do it.

I thought that I had made the decision not to get anymore pot but when we were out tonight I had hubby get out the cash I needed for it anyhow. I even told him he was right and he didn’t try and talk me out of it, but then he treats me like an adult who can make her own decisions.

Tonight we went to downtown Gretna and walk around for a couple of hours catching pokemon and exploring. It’s nice down there and you can walk without thinking about it too much.

Also my shrink is taking me off the pristiq so we shall see if we get any side effects from that.


Olympic Memories

Watching the opening ceremonies of the Rio Summer Olympic Games is in many ways bittersweet. While my relationship with my Dad was a rocky one at best, the games were something we could enjoy together… even if we were apart! … Continue reading