I actually feel physically crappy but I managed to do the dishes and laundry. I can never tell where I am emotionally when my body is being a dick.
I am also really damn fidgety it’s hard to just relax you know?
Is it mania? possibly .. I have am definitely experiencing a lot of emotions. I bawled my ass off today after watching some videos. I had a real reason to cry but I rarely do so it came as a shock, which just made me sob all the harder. I think it was cathartic though.
I really am missing my family right now. Especially my daughter and grandson. I wonder if I’ll ever get to meet him face to face and it hurts to think that I may not because of my stupid fears.
Being afraid all the time is so taxing.
Sadie frequently encourages me to do thought diaries, which I am very resistant to doing. We can’t figure out why, since I always go above and beyond on other tasks she assigns. Ironically, a Bing search for “thought diary” has the first image result as one from my blog. This week Sadie and I were […]
Today I just want to say that I can’t wait for Autumn. I love the crisp air, the earthy smells and Halloween. It’s still a couple months away but I get excited thinking about it.
Right now it’s so damn hot you can’t leave your house for a walk. I can’t collect pokemon. So I’m feeling trapped. If I don’t leave my house that should be my choice, not the weathers.. dammit.
What I forgot to report is last Saturday we went out to my MiL and went out on the boat and had a BBQ and I was pretty good on the anxiety front. It helps when the people you are surrounded with make you feel loved. I relaxed some so I guess it is possible for me to leave my anxious state. Now if I can just channel that.
It’s the weekend so I will at least stop being so lonely for a couple of days.