Daily Archives: July 17, 2016

Y’all, I did this super scary thing where I talked, unscripted, for half an hour about the intersections of fatphobia and transness, along with sharing SO many feelings that I have about body positivity.

I did this with the amazing Elizabeth Cooper, founder of the Queer Body Love Speaker Series! You can learn more about it by clicking this link right here.

Their introduction to my interview is super generous and makes me feel important! Check it out:

More people have recommended Sam Dylan Finch as a speaker for this series than anyone else. He’s the most famous advocate for trans inclusivity within the body positive movement, and in this candid interview he shares about his own experience as a non-binary trans person who has both learned from and has critiques of the body positive movement. This topic of navigating a fatphobic, transphobic society is SO important and has something to contribute to us all.

Interview highlights:

• Why “every body is a bikini body” body positive beach photoshoots are exclusive (and how to reframe such projects to be trans inclusive)
• 2 impactful lessons Sam has learned from body positivity
• Why Sam literally sits in front of a mirror staring at his body (this is a unique exercise I haven’t heard of before)
• How to deprogram internalized voices of oppression
• The difference between dysphoria and dysmorphia 
• What it means for Sam to be a non-binary trans person & how this relates to his relationship to his body

I’m not sure if I’d call myself famous (read: I would not call myself famous), BUT OKAY ELIZABETH. I am flattered!

If you sign up on the website – which just involves sharing your email address – you’ll gain access not only to my interview, but to dozens of other interviews from queer folks and queer-competent clinicians, talking about the many complexities of queer body image!

And before you tell me, “Sam! You’re only saying this because they paid you,” umm, EXCUSE ME. I did this for free!

I did this because I genuinely believe these are some of the most important conversions to be having right now, in a society which tells transgender people in particular that they are inherently broken, and as fatphobia and gendered ideals fuel disordered eating in our community.

And if you’re not interested in watching my face make weird expressions while I talk about this, or if it’s simply not an accessible format for you, there’s also a transcript available so you can simply read what I (and all the other speakers!) had to say.

It’s rare that I put myself on video without a script to talk about these things, but this was a unique occasion in which I wanted to connect directly with folks who, like me, are trying to navigate body positivity – which is a profoundly cis-centric movement – while also being transgender or non-binary.

So really, go sign up! I promise it’s not a scam (well, if it is, we can be victims together, okay, because I totally signed up too). It’s just a bunch of queer people who want to talk about our bodies in a way that we seldom have the space to do.

And be sure to spread the word! I can think of countless queer and trans people who need access to these conversations. Let’s bring everyone to the table. Let’s support and uplift one another in our journeys toward self-acceptance.

See you there!

“I’m coming back to the heart of worship And it’s all about You, It’s all about You, Jesus I’m sorry, Lord, for the thing I’ve made it When it’s all about You, It’s all about You, Jesus” Yesterday a friend … Continue reading →

I encountered stand of Indian Paintbrush growing right in the middle of a Rabbit Bush, out in my favorite forest camp on the Coconino Plateau in Northern Arizona.

It put me in mind of the story of Moses and the Burning Bush.
As the Chumash (the Five Books of Moses) tells it, Moses had fled from Egypt after killing a man who was beating a Hebrew.  Although Moses had been adopted by the “baht Melekh” (Pharaoh’s daughter), it had become known that he was a Hebrew by birth; therefore, to kill an employee of Pharaoh would certainly result in something bad, even though the man he killed was a Hebrew “taskmaster,” as the Book says, exactly like the Jewish Capos that Hitler (may his name be erased) set over the Jews, Catholics, Gypsies, homosexuals, and disabled people in the concentration camps.

This being the case, Moses fled to Midian.  There wasn’t anything special about Midian that drew him there, or so he thought, but about the middle of the day he came to a well.  Now, it’s known that in any of the Hebrew writings, wells symbolize the wisdom of the Divine Feminine, called the Shekhina.  Many times, a woman who is destined to be an important man’s soulmate is present, or is revealed at, a well.  Rivka (Rebecca), who was destined to become the soulmate of Yitzkhak (Isaac), was discovered at a well, as you will remember.  And Miriam had a well that followed the Hebrews through the desert, providing them with water during their forty-year journey.  It disappeared upon her death, leaving the Israelites high and dry.

When Moses arrived at the Midianite well, he discovered several shepherd girls hanging around with their flocks of sheep.  He asked them what was up with that, and they replied mournfully that the well was stopped up with a boulder, and they couldn’t water their sheep until the rotten men shepherds came, towards evening, and moved the rock aside.  But their sheep were thirsty now!

Moses, outraged by this injustice, moved the huge rock off the mouth of the well, and the girls watered their sheep.

One of the girls, Tzipporah (Zipporah, in lousy translation), had such a beautiful soul that Moses snatched her up and kissed her!  She immediately flew (this the meaning of her name, which is “bird”) to her father’s house and asked if she could invite Moe to dinner.  When Yitro (Jethro, also called Ruel) heard what Moshe (Moses) had done for the shepherdesses, of course he invited Moshe to dinner, and also gave him Tzipporah to wife.

Moshe worked for his father in law for a few years. After a while he got the feeling that he should head back to Egypt, so he gathered up a very pregnant Tzipporah, heaved Jr onto a donkey, and off they went through the desert, having adventures that I will not mention here, except to say that after one of them he sent Tzipporah and their infant son back to Midian, and continued on alone.

As he was trudging through the desert he spied a bush on fire.  He thought that was odd, so he turned from his path and drew closer to see what that was all about.

The first thing he noticed was that even though the bush was certainly on fire, it was not being consumed.  He thought that was the strangest thing he had ever seen, but things got stranger still.

A voice boomed out of the Burning Bush and said,

“Moshe, Moshe!  Take off your sandals, for you are standing on sacred ground!” 

This is the basis of the Law that Hebrews must take our shoes off when we go to the Holy Temple, whose ruins still sit on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem, although those who currently occupy it try continually to deny that both the Holy Temples and the Holocaust never existed.

After Moshe removed his sandals and approached the Burning Bush once again, he was commanded to be the First Rabbi, and convey to the people who were to become the Children of Israel the Law which the Great Spirit would teach him.  Being the most humble man there ever was, Moshe demured, citing a speech impediment.  God said fine then, your brother Aharon (Aaron) will be your mouthpiece.  I’ll tell you, you tell Aharon, and he’ll tell the People.  Now get out of here and do your job.

Moshe says, “I will, but who shall I say sent me?  The People will think I’m arrogant and won’t believe me if I just tell them stuff myself.  I need to tell them who sent me!”

“Fine.  Tell them, Ekyeh asher Ekyeh sent you (I Am Because I Am).  Now scram before I make an ash out of you!”

Moshe lit a shuck (ran away fast) out of there, and as he approached Egypt he met his brother Aharon, who was coming to look for him, to invite him to have lamb with pita and wine.

TBC, at some point….

I’m going back to work. Starting the week of July 25th I will be re-entering the workforce for the first time in over a year. I’m going back to work. The words fill me with excitement and anxiety. I’m excited about feeling like a contributing member of society again. I’m excited about having something that […]

Dear Amy,

I want you to know there will be times in your life when you will struggle with a mental illness called bipolar disorder.  I know it sounds complicated and the truth is-it is complex because we are talking about your brain.  But if you learn everything you can about how to manage your symptoms and find a good treatment plan you will do great.

But I want you to know fighting your way back to health will be the hardest thing you ever do.  There is such a stigma with mental illness a lot of people are not going to understand.  You will find out who your real friends are and who you can rely on.

More than anything be true to yourself.  You don’t have to publicize you live with bipolar disorder unless you want too.  But you MUST be honest with yourself about your illness.  Some people can survive and thrive without medications, but you are not one of them.  In fact, most people with bipolar disorder need medications and there is no shame in that. 

 Whatever you do-don’t deny there is a problem.  It will set you back in life to pretend this serious illness will magically disappear on its own.  When is the last time you ever heard a brain tumor disappearing without intervention?  As much as you want it to go away, you can’t wish this away.  The sooner you accept it the faster you can get well and live your life.

You are going to need help along the way.  Doctors and therapists can be tremendous support on the road wellness.  But remember they are also human and not perfect.  They will make mistakes sometimes.  You have to find the right fit for you and never be afraid to ask questions or even disagree with providers.  The best ones will welcome an open dialogue.

In life we don’t get to choose what we get and what we don’t.  You are going to feel frustrated at times and you may have moments when you think, “what’s the point?”  But I want you to hold on to hope and never give up trying.

There will be times when you reflect back and thank your mother for giving you the gift of faith.  You may not be overtly assertive about your relationship with God, but you will get down on your knees and pray for God to get you through the tough times.  Without your faith you won’t make it because you will have some very difficult times and that will require a great deal of faith.

You will get a good handle on bipolar disorder and once you do the sky is the limit.  So don’t ever let anyone tell you to keep your dreams small.  You are good at dreaming big and I want you to keep doing that as long as you live.

Finally, take one day at a time.  Everything you need will be provided for you, maybe not what you want but what you need.  And when you figure all this stuff out don’t forget to reach back and help other people.  Because at the end of the day that’s what life is all about.

Your friend,

Your older self