Suddenly I’ve just lost the urge to communicate with people online or off, so I am probably going to be absent in various places. I am trying to spend some time on my own forum, and that’s about it. I’ve mainly been updating my FB, which I reactivated, when I have new projects finished or things for sale on my etsy. I just sort of don’t give a shit and don’t want to talk to anyone.
This isn’t a bad thing; I’ve been getting a lot of things done; physical things, quantifiable progress being made. This has been a much better week than the weeks prior to this.
Some things I notice are that I am overly critical of my own work, though, and all human contact tends to annoy and frustrate me, except in small quantities. People just seem so shitty to each other and I guess I don’t feel the urge to be shitty to people all the time. People also seem very moody and unpredictable in a bad way.
I don’t think I’ve ever taken out anger on another person toward whom it wasn’t directed, and it seems that many or most other people do that all the time. They wake up in a bad mood and are shitty to everybody, no matter what, no matter how those people treat them. I can’t do that, I’m not programmed that way, and I find it very upsetting. I figure the best thing I can do is cut off most or all contact with people, online and off, until I feel like I have gained a larger tolerance for everyone being a shithead all the time. I don’t even care if they’re a shithead to me or not, I feel the same when they’re unreasonable shitheads to other people. In many ways, I have a very low opinion of humanity.
I’m sure there are many wonderful people out there, but they are very hard to find, and I don’t have the time or energy to do so.