This post has been brewing in my head for weeks now. Finally…I think the words are going to come together coherently and cohesively.
We hear it constantly, especially those of us with mental health issues. “Be thankful for what you have.” “You could have it worse.” “I have a mortgage and six kids, you pay rent and have one, who has it worse?” “Oh, you’re hyperventilating and feeling sad today?I have fibromyagiaverythingisbrokenomgnoonecouldfeelworsethanme.”
It’s only a slight exaggeration, face it.
The bottom line is…When things suck, they suck. It doesn’t matter if you are rich, thin, poor, obese, smart, dumb, have a lisp or are missing an arm….
Humans experience sucky things.
Life seems hell bent on invalidating anyone’s right to voice their struggle with said suckage. We are to silently embrace the suck. It could be worse.
Fuck, yeah, it could be worse.
But personally, I’m not gonna tell a POW, “Hey, at least they only hit you with the bamboo a hundred times today instead of a thousand, that’s something to be thankful for!”
SCREAM ABOUT IT. BITCH ABOUT IT. MOAN. WHINE. VENT. GROWL. GRUMBLE. GET IT OUT.
It is perfectly okay to say something sucks in your life. It’s YOUR personal experience. You are not competing with someone in Cambodia who does not have enough food for the week thus your feelings are invalidated.
It sucks when bad stuff happens to others, it especially sucks when it happens to us. And the best of us have the self awareness to know, without being told repeatedly, that it could be worse.
If we scramble around comparing our broken arm to someone who’s had a limb torn off by a combine…we will NEVER feel anything but miserable.
I read too many, and write too many posts, where the writer can barely get out their feelings without feeling socially required to point out, I could have it worse, thus invalidating their own situation.
The world, and society, so obsessed with its extremes, makes zero room for balance.
I think it’s fine to say, “Okay, my booboo is small enough to be covered with a band aid but if I am out of band aids, I have the right to say, well, fuck a fancy bag, this sucks!” Sure, the dude with the lacerated hand trumps me. So does the kid who needs an organ transplant, or the family that has ten people living in one room.
Someone will always have it worse than someone else. The balance is in knowing when you’re simply venting your feelings without saying, “My despair trumps all”.
We all have various sized booboos. Our booboos all hurt to varying degrees.
So how about we cut each other, and ourselves, some slack…And agree that it’s okay to discuss our booboos without it becoming a competition of who has more suck to embrace.
We all have valid feelings. We should not be forced as a societal norm to invalidate ours, or anyone else’s.
As long as in the course of venting your booboos remain aware, and retain perspective, on how others do have it worse….
I think it’s just fine to talk about your booboos. And I even have some spare band aids if you need one. Just let me know-neon colors or Minions.