I deactivated my Facebook again

I sometimes feel like I’m being held hostage by Facebook, but I decided that, if I feel deactivating is good for my mental health, I should deactivate. A lot of people act like I’d be unreachable, but I have quite a few websites, including one with my name in the domain. Many people have my email, some have my phone number, many know what my websites are (if not this one, then the others). So when people say “I will miss you,” what I hear is: “I don’t even care about you enough to spend the time it takes to write a text message or email. I can’t be bothered communicating with you unless you use a site that you passionately hate.” And if I’m not worth the time it takes to write an email to me, then I figure, they aren’t worth my time, either.

It’s more of the same shit I’ve done my entire life: continued to do things I hated and be around people I don’t like just because otherwise, there would be no people in my life. I don’t care anymore. If there aren’t any people in my life, that’s fine. That’s better than being subjected to things that upset me all the time. And Facebook does upset me a lot more than it should, especially since having more mixed and manic episodes since last summer

I think it’s partly just laziness, though; people are used to not having to write emails anymore. I don’t care. I’m sick to death of Facebook. I’m not going to keep using it just because it’s convenient for other people.

I had a page for this blog on there, but Facebook only shows posts to 10% of followers anyway, and probably not that many unless they interact with the posts in some way (liking, sharing, commenting). I think I only ever had one post “like” on there, so I doubt anyone even sees the links I posts on that page, so it’s no big deal that the page doesn’t exist anymore since I deactivated my personal page.

Additionally, I think it’s nice to have to practice some sort of restraint with writing on the internet. If I post here, I feel compelled to write in full paragraphs and to more or less stay on topic. Facebook encourages people to either share things from other people, or to post one-sentence statuses fishing for “likes.” As stated before, people never really like or comment on my posts, probably because of either my attitude problem or the fact that I write entire paragraphs (often on disturbing on controversial topics). I never really integrated into the culture of Facebook, I suppose. I used it for things it wasn’t designed to be used for (discussion, posts with more than two sentences, etc.).

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