I went to the gym today to begin using my personal training sessions. My trainer, Jaime, measured me and I am so thrilled, I found out my waist is 25 inches! Also, I did 25 sit ups, 20 pushups, and the “wall sit” for over 2 minutes! I could have kept sitting too :-) Pretty good stats for the beginning. I feel really happy, and excited to be embarking on a physical fitness journey again. I’ve let exercising slide a bit, but it is time. The beach is only a few months away haha.
Sorry for the “Dear Diary” tone of this post, but that’s all I have today, and actually, considering I feel a real sense of wellbeing, it is enough for me :-)
The reason I’ve been ignoring the physical side of me is because I’ve been intensively working on the emotional, abandonment, abuse issues and healing from them. I have read one book (a long one), and I still have many more on my list. And happily, what I have learned from the book I’ve read and from perusing many others, as well the wise people who wrote them, is that healing is possible! It is very possible! And unbelievably so, but I have been feeling the beginnings of healing inside me. I recognize my “inner child”, or Little, and I recognize when she is feeling scared and I know to give her love and reassurance. That is healing! Not to get beside myself, and feel bereft, and look to something or someone outside of my self for help or love or anything. But to give this love and reassurance to my self, that is healing! And I am doing this all the time now. And, so, as a result, I am feeling emotionally stronger, more resilient and much less needy. Hallelujah!
Below are the books I have ordered. I have read “From Abandonment to Healing” by Susan Anderson. And I’ll be starting “Changing Course” by Claudia Black next.