Daily Archives: February 26, 2016

Could It Be…Rapid Cycling?

I’ve read a lot of other people’s blogs about rapid cycling and I’ve wondered how or if it applies to me. After much thought, I’ve come to the conclusion, “Are you fucking kidding me?  You’re the QUEEN of rapid cycling!”  Which may be good to know.  Or…it could just be something that overwhelms me and makes me feel like shit.  <—-That’s it!  Rapid Cycling!  Here are some examples of what I *think* might be rapid cycling:

  • Decide that I need to get rid of my storage unit. In true black and white fashion, decide that I have to get rid of EVERYTHING, which makes me unbearably sad, leading to desolation, leading to beating up on myself and saying I’ll never have a home again, leading to suicidal feelings.
  • Decide that I can’t bear to part with my kitchen stuff, and that I can’t bear to let go of the hope of one day having my own home again. Make the decision to store the kitchen stuff where I live, which is a colossal ass-pain, but do-able. *Ching!* Suicidal ideation lifts.
  • Go to therapy and talk about what I’ve put myself through with storage issues. Therapist tries to talk me into going into the hospital. Suicidal thoughts return at the idea of being in the hospital.
  • Come home, call insurance company, find out what my coverage is for inpatient hospitalization. Feel relieved knowing that it’s an option but decide to go work out instead of being hospitalized. *Ching!* Suicidal ideation lifts.
  • Go to Mom and Dad’s to visit and feel like a 100% normal person, including but not limited to, excited at the prospect of joining their rec center and taking some new exercise classes for variety. *Ching* I feel normal today. WHAT THE FUCKIN’ FUCK???

So that is my argument for rapid cycling. Maybe it’s situational.  Maybe it’s me?  Maybe I’m just very, very Bipolar.  I don’t know.  Tell me what you think?  Oh and by the way…IT’S THE WEEKEND, FUCKIN’ A YEAH!!!!!


Filed under: Bipolar, Bipolar-Rapid Cycling Tagged: Bipolar, Bipolar-Rapid Cycling, Hope, Humor, Mental Illness, Psychology, Reader

Back To Life Again

I really feel raised from the dead. I feel so much better now than I did a week ago. Had to get up super early to help get my youngest ready for her field trip to Birmingham, AL.  So I went back to bed after my husband and she left for the bus stop they were meeting at and got caught up on my sleep again. I ran some errands, getting my full scrip of Abilify and picking up some things i had forgotten at the grocery store. I read my Bible reading for today and have been doing some work for school.

TOmorrow is the real test;;we have another local dance competition and need to be there by nine a.m.  So we will see how this goes.  I think I will go ahead and take a Xanax early tomorrow and hope that keeps me stable through it.

Next week will be hectic with all my appointments and trying to get ready for the spring break competition. My middle one will be packing for her Europe trip; she leaves Sunday afternoon while we’re at the competition. I am very angry about this. I want to be there to see her off. I feel like the youngest is getting all the attention to the detriment of the middle one.  I have tried to say this non-confrontationally and hopefully have gotten my message across. I don’t know what difference it will make, but I’ve said my piece about it.

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

 


Women’s Weekend at Cedar Fire Ranch

I am off to Cedar Fire Ranch, for the women’s weekend (description below). I absolutely love horses, and I am so looking forward to spending the whole weekend with them! Pictures, stories and descriptions to follow.

http://www.cedarfire.net/


The Case of Linda Bishop as Recorded by Filmmaker Brian Arotti

I found this on a blog that I read regularly by a former Washington Post columnist named Pete Earley whose son suffers from Bipolar disorder. He is the author of Crazy: A Father’s Search Through America’s Mental Health Madness. He is also a vocal advocate for raising mental health awareness in this country.

This trailer is for a movie about a mentally ill woman named Linda Bishop. She had Bipolar disorder and struggled with psychosis and delusional thinking. She died of starvation in 2008 after living in an abandoned farmhouse and eating only apples from a nearby orchard and drinking melted snow. She was released in 2007 from a New Hampshire state hospital with no doctor’s appointments, no medication, and no follow-up treatment. The hospital did not even question whether the address she gave them was a valid address. She lived on the streets, in jail, and finally in the farmhouse. She kept a very detailed journal while at the farmhouse where she was waiting for the Advent. She was alone, not medicated, and psychotic. No person with mental health problems should ever go through this. She needed help, and the state hospital let her go after a year with no aftercare or medication. She received no help, and she died because of that lack of care. Please find the link to the trailer for the movie below. This woman did not have to die had the hospital simply given her follow-up instructions and medication to keep the psychosis at bay.

God Knows Where I Am

Filed under: Alone, Bipolar Disorder, hospitals, psychosis Tagged: Bipolar Disorder, death, Lack of Care

The Case of Linda Bishop as Recorded by Filmmaker Brian Arotti

I found this on a blog that I read regularly by a former Washington Post columnist named Pete Earley whose son suffers from Bipolar disorder. He is the author of Crazy: A Father’s Search Through America’s Mental Health Madness. He is also a vocal advocate for raising mental health awareness in this country.

This trailer is for a movie about a mentally ill woman named Linda Bishop. She had Bipolar disorder and struggled with psychosis and delusional thinking. She died of starvation in 2008 after living in an abandoned farmhouse and eating only apples from a nearby orchard and drinking melted snow. She was released in 2007 from a New Hampshire state hospital with no doctor’s appointments, no medication, and no follow-up treatment. The hospital did not even question whether the address she gave them was a valid address. She lived on the streets, in jail, and finally in the farmhouse. She kept a very detailed journal while at the farmhouse where she was waiting for the Advent. She was alone, not medicated, and psychotic. No person with mental health problems should ever go through this. She needed help, and the state hospital let her go after a year with no aftercare or medication. She received no help, and she died because of that lack of care. Please find the link to the trailer for the movie below. This woman did not have to die had the hospital simply given her follow-up instructions and medication to keep the psychosis at bay.

God Knows Where I Am

Filed under: Alone, Bipolar Disorder, hospitals, psychosis Tagged: Bipolar Disorder, death, Lack of Care

The Case of Linda Bishop as Recorded by Filmmaker Brian Arotti

I found this on a blog that I read regularly by a former Washington Post columnist named Pete Earley whose son suffers from Bipolar disorder. He is the author of Crazy: A Father’s Search Through America’s Mental Health Madness. He is also a vocal advocate for raising mental health awareness in this country.

This trailer is for a movie about a mentally ill woman named Linda Bishop. She had Bipolar disorder and struggled with psychosis and delusional thinking. She died of starvation in 2008 after living in an abandoned farmhouse and eating only apples from a nearby orchard and drinking melted snow. She was released in 2007 from a New Hampshire state hospital with no doctor’s appointments, no medication, and no follow-up treatment. The hospital did not even question whether the address she gave them was a valid address. She lived on the streets, in jail, and finally in the farmhouse. She kept a very detailed journal while at the farmhouse where she was waiting for the Advent. She was alone, not medicated, and psychotic. No person with mental health problems should ever go through this. She needed help, and the state hospital let her go after a year with no aftercare or medication. She received no help, and she died because of that lack of care. Please find the link to the trailer for the movie below. This woman did not have to die had the hospital simply given her follow-up instructions and medication to keep the psychosis at bay.

God Knows Where I Am

Filed under: Alone, Bipolar Disorder, hospitals, psychosis Tagged: Bipolar Disorder, death, Lack of Care

The Case of Linda Bishop as Recorded by Filmmaker Brian Arotti

I found this on a blog that I read regularly by a former Washington Post columnist named Pete Earley whose son suffers from Bipolar disorder. He is the author of Crazy: A Father’s Search Through America’s Mental Health Madness. He is also a vocal advocate for raising mental health awareness in this country.

This trailer is for a movie about a mentally ill woman named Linda Bishop. She had Bipolar disorder and struggled with psychosis and delusional thinking. She died of starvation in 2008 after living in an abandoned farmhouse and eating only apples from a nearby orchard and drinking melted snow. She was released in 2007 from a New Hampshire state hospital with no doctor’s appointments, no medication, and no follow-up treatment. The hospital did not even question whether the address she gave them was a valid address. She lived on the streets, in jail, and finally in the farmhouse. She kept a very detailed journal while at the farmhouse where she was waiting for the Advent. She was alone, not medicated, and psychotic. No person with mental health problems should ever go through this. She needed help, and the state hospital let her go after a year with no aftercare or medication. She received no help, and she died because of that lack of care. Please find the link to the trailer for the movie below. This woman did not have to die had the hospital simply given her follow-up instructions and medication to keep the psychosis at bay.

God Knows Where I Am

Filed under: Alone, Bipolar Disorder, hospitals, psychosis Tagged: Bipolar Disorder, death, Lack of Care

GoFundMe: In Debt to the Nut Hut

So, finances are a bit of a problem right now.  I think I’d be handling it better if this weren’t the dreaded month of February, where everything magically turns to shit.  Sadie tried to convince me that I can get out of debt and eventually afford to move out.  Then I came home and mom […]

Pain

I’m not well at the moment. I always keep this to myself, but I’m tired of hiding it all the time. People don’t know that mental illnesses – including bipolar – are accompanied by much physical (especially neuropathic) pain. As if struggling with one’s mind, moods and anxiety wasn’t quite enough to cope with already. ‪#‎FightingStigma‬

 

 


Pain

I’m not well at the moment. I always keep this to myself, but I’m tired of hiding it all the time. People don’t know that mental illnesses – including bipolar – are accompanied by much physical (especially neuropathic) pain. As if struggling with one’s mind, moods and anxiety wasn’t quite enough to cope with already. ‪#‎FightingStigma‬