It’s a little bit springy around here, hence the chick.
You may recall that last week I was having hallucinations. Instead of being put back on perphenazine, I was taken off Abilify and put on a new drug called Rexulti. This is “supposed to be like Abilify only better.”
I’m only on .5 and the max dose is 3.0. But of course you work up to that. I haven’t noticed any real difference in anything except that I am down in bed more. Just depressed. But more about that later.
I tried to look up some consumer comments about Rexulti, but couldn’t find much. I think it is truly new on the market. Out of ten people, eight said it helped them, one guy said it did nothing, and one guy said it made him crawl out of his skin. I had that side effect for about a week on Abilify so I know how that feels.
The rest of this blog entry will be truly boring, so unless you are desperate move on.
My 21 YO son living at home is mouthy to me. If you don’t remember, he lives at home so he can go to college cheap. He likes to DJ at night and that is a lot more fun than classes. But if he doesn’t get decent grades this semester, he and his turntable are finding somewhere else to live. Does anyone else have a kid like this? You have to work extra hard to give them emotional support because they are a pain in the ass?
My middle son has settled in here (with his cat!) and is doing well. He’s a middle child and easy to get along with. He likes his job although he says it is kind of boring. His dad said “welcome to the real world.” But he is polite and clean so he’s easy.
My daughter is doing well. She had a rough patch and they now have her on a small dose of lithium. She has such a tough job. Special education…behavior problems. Don’t know how she does it.
I have a good friend who is driving me nuts. Arlene started selling Mary Kay and that seems to be her life’s focus. It’s all she talks about. I love her dearly and hope this is just a passing phase. She wanted me to sell it but I reminded her I am on disability and cannot earn any money. That ended that. But I have bought a few things from her and like them.
The weather is nice here and I almost took a walk last night. If I can shower, walk, drive, and lose weight, I will have life conquered.
We bought a storage shed! Did I tell you that last week? It’s the aluminum kind and has revolutionized the garage. So much stuff has gone into the shed that the garage looks a little bare. We are easily getting 3 cars into the 3 car garage. It’s a miracle.
The shared cooking, cleaning dishes, and doing laundry is going well. I think they actually sort of enjoy pitching in. I cook three nights a week and do my best. Nothing is super fancy though. Tonight we are having slow cooker pork chops with apricots, carrots, and applesauce. Also bread machine buttermilk bread. Hopefully, the bread will turn out. I like loading everything in the morning. I get wiped out fast.
I know I need to get out more. I am tending to stay home. The lack of driving is a bit of it, but my husband and kids will take me wherever. I just like my couch. My friend Amber feels the same way. Mental illness is hell.
I do chat with my friend Gaill every Thursday morning. We go over the week and talk about what we did spiritually. We also gab about how we are. I love this time. She is a very special person. I am lucky to have found her at a church retreat. She doesn’t care that I am mentally ill…she just likes ME. It’s nice.
I had kind of a bad thing happen. Last week we went to church and all was well. We went home, picked up the kids and went out to lunch. The waiter actually commented on how depressed I looked! That was self-fulfilling I can tell you. I felt even worse. I know I don’t smile enough, but honestly I just forget. I do well to get around and do what I am supposed to do.
I have been seeing my psychologist twice a week and that is going well. She has been teaching me how to deal with my hallucinations and what to do to keep safe. But when my mind starts to slip all bets are off. Some of you will understand that.
I still get mad at myself. I have no overt reason to be depressed. I read several blogs regularly and some of these people have huge reasons to feel bad. But I just try to be careful not to get too down on myself. When your chemicals are screwed up, life is hell. When your chemicals are good, you can face hardships and do a good job.
Sorry this was so boring. Thank you for reading if you got this far.
love to all,