Daily Archives: September 24, 2015

I’m Writing This While Drunk

The following essay I wrote months ago, while I was pretty drunk. I am not sure if you all have been hip to the suicide theme this month, being suicide prevention month and all, but this one highlights some of my suicidal thinking when I am drinking. I am sure that this last month worth […]

I’m Writing This While Drunk

The following essay I wrote months ago, while I was pretty drunk. I am not sure if you all have...

regretting the earth

“Do you know a cure for me?” Why yes,” he said, “I know a cure for everything. Salt water.” “Salt water?” I asked him. “Yes,” he said, “in one way or the other. Sweat, or tears, or the salt sea.” ― Karen Blixen, Seven Gothic Tales It pisses me right off when I’ve been for…

Transitioning

Over the last year, blogging and Internet activity in general have slowed to a near standstill for me.  I realized this not too long ago, when I was without a decent computer to use for about two weeks.  I barely checked my email, posted on Facebook maybe twice, didn’t even look at a blog post, and hardly noticed.  What I did notice, however, was that I have started to do quite a bit of sit-and-stare.  You know, the whole three-hours-pass-as-three-minutes sit-and-stare kind of thing.

And I thought…oh, that can’t be good.  So, most of the amped-up anxiety is gone, most of the days.  Instead, there is a very active LACK OF INTEREST in once-pleasurable activities.  I don’t necessarily feel  too depressed, but I am certainly hitting all the DSM markers of it.  I am taking boatloads of Seroquel, and also Topamax now, as a mood stabilizer and to counter the ridiculous hunger pains that Seroquel brings.

I can certainly say that Topomax has almost completely abolished hunger.  This would be a good thing, right?  Well, yes and no.  Its good, because I’m losing weight.  Its bad, because putting ANYTHING in my mouth, whether it be liquid or solid, nutritious or not, just sounds nasty.  That includes water, so I find myself quite dehydrated at the end of the day.  I have been sick on a few occasions since starting it, and I find I really have to be on top of things.

Immense stress and pressure here in the last week, with LarBear having serious physical health issues and a very ill grandfather, and me dealing with everyday randomness garbage and seasonal change to boot.  I feel like I am somewhat on top of things, but mostly because of the great support I am getting from my dad and QoB.  I am used to LarBear picking up a lot of slack, but he has really not been himself lately, and I am eager for us to put this little stretch behind us.

Of course there are always hopes that I will keep up better with blogging, and maybe I might, who knows.  I’m going to try, and am at least better set up for it now that I have a new monitor for my desktop.  Winter will be here soon and I won’t want to get out much (even less than the nonexistent now…ha!), so I am looking for some new routines.

So, yep, that’s my story…looking for new routines, looking to put this stretch behind me, looking, looking, looking…


Filed under: Collection of Thoughts Tagged: anxiety, Bipolar, blogging, depression, friends, health, internet, mania, mental illness, mental-health, PTSD, relationships, routines, Seroquel, Topamax

Transitioning

Over the last year, blogging and Internet activity in general have slowed to a near standstill for me.  I realized this not too long ago, when I was without a decent computer to use for about two weeks.  I barely checked my email, posted on Facebook maybe twice, didn’t even look at a blog post, and hardly noticed.  What I did notice, however, was that I have started to do quite a bit of sit-and-stare.  You know, the whole three-hours-pass-as-three-minutes sit-and-stare kind of thing.

And I thought…oh, that can’t be good.  So, most of the amped-up anxiety is gone, most of the days.  Instead, there is a very active LACK OF INTEREST in once-pleasurable activities.  I don’t necessarily feel  too depressed, but I am certainly hitting all the DSM markers of it.  I am taking boatloads of Seroquel, and also Topamax now, as a mood stabilizer and to counter the ridiculous hunger pains that Seroquel brings.

I can certainly say that Topomax has almost completely abolished hunger.  This would be a good thing, right?  Well, yes and no.  Its good, because I’m losing weight.  Its bad, because putting ANYTHING in my mouth, whether it be liquid or solid, nutritious or not, just sounds nasty.  That includes water, so I find myself quite dehydrated at the end of the day.  I have been sick on a few occasions since starting it, and I find I really have to be on top of things.

Immense stress and pressure here in the last week, with LarBear having serious physical health issues and a very ill grandfather, and me dealing with everyday randomness garbage and seasonal change to boot.  I feel like I am somewhat on top of things, but mostly because of the great support I am getting from my dad and QoB.  I am used to LarBear picking up a lot of slack, but he has really not been himself lately, and I am eager for us to put this little stretch behind us.

Of course there are always hopes that I will keep up better with blogging, and maybe I might, who knows.  I’m going to try, and am at least better set up for it now that I have a new monitor for my desktop.  Winter will be here soon and I won’t want to get out much (even less than the nonexistent now…ha!), so I am looking for some new routines.

So, yep, that’s my story…looking for new routines, looking to put this stretch behind me, looking, looking, looking…


Filed under: Collection of Thoughts Tagged: anxiety, Bipolar, blogging, depression, friends, health, internet, mania, mental illness, mental-health, PTSD, relationships, routines, Seroquel, Topamax

The Presidential Candidates Need to Talk about Mental Health

difference

It does not matter if you have already picked out your candidate, if you are a Republican or a Democrat, or what issues that are being debated that matter most to you.  However, if you are a mental health advocate, one issue that really should make a difference in how you vote and is hardly being talked about at all is mental health and mental illness.

The candidates have mentioned that something needs to be done about it, but very few if any have talked about a specific plan that would help not only the mental health community and/or society in general.

One in four people in the United States have a mental illness. Even more have a family member, co-worker, or friend who has a mental illness.  If that is not the case, I can argue that everyone is affected by mental illness in any way.  Only about 1% of tragedies involve people with mental illness, but the media likes to point out when they are and rarely take the opportunity to educate the public about the illness that person has, things to look for if you suspect someone might have a mental illness, what resources are available, and that stigma is a problem. Instead, they contribute to it.

There are so many thing that need to be changed in our mental health system and listing them all is not the purpose of this blog article. The purpose is to raise awareness that our next president needs to do something about the problem that involves everyone in the United States.  25% of the voters have a mental illness. That is a huge voting base. Our questions deserve to be answered. I personally have not decided who I would vote for, but a lot of what would determine that would be based on their mental health plan.  How can I do that if the candidates are not even being held accountable to answer questions from the mental health community?

If you are a mental health advocate, your help is needed now! Please join our efforts in getting mental health to be a hot topic in the debates.  Advocates are starting to join forces to bombard our candidates and the media.  Consider being one of those people who can make this all happen.  Together we can make a difference!

The two main places right now that are discussing ways to go about this are on MHAU’s page and mainly in our advocacy group Advocates for People with Mental Illnesses. You are welcome to join our community of over 18,000 members. If you would rather not do that, there are so many other things you can do.  As all this develops I will write another blog.  However, I did want you to have a way to contact all the candidates and the two television stations who will be having the next two debates now.

In the group, we are working on form letters, FB messages, tweets, etc. We are also encouraging people to think outside the box and write their own and contact celebrities who are advocates, their psychiatrists, their local media stations and the ideas are continuously pouring in.

The list of the candidates are below in no particular order.  They all need to talk about mental health and mental illness.  Most of them have at least FB and Twitter pages.  I provided mailing addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers if they were readily available. 

Let’s do this!  We might have a mental illness, but we are intelligent individuals who matter.  It is time our voices are heard.  If you would like to contact me personally, my email address is [email protected] 

Note: I write under the name Bipolar Bandit, but I also founded the advocacy group mentioned above and operate the page.   The same article can be found on MHAU’s website, but I know different people read this blog, so I wanted to share it here too.


The Presidential Candidates Need to Talk about Mental Health

difference

It does not matter if you have already picked out your candidate, if you are a Republican or a Democrat, or what issues that are being debated that matter most to you.  However, if you are a mental health advocate, one issue that really should make a difference in how you vote and is hardly being talked about at all is mental health and mental illness.

The candidates have mentioned that something needs to be done about it, but very few if any have talked about a specific plan that would help not only the mental health community and/or society in general.

One in four people in the United States have a mental illness. Even more have a family member, co-worker, or friend who has a mental illness.  If that is not the case, I can argue that everyone is affected by mental illness in any way.  Only about 1% of tragedies involve people with mental illness, but the media likes to point out when they are and rarely take the opportunity to educate the public about the illness that person has, things to look for if you suspect someone might have a mental illness, what resources are available, and that stigma is a problem. Instead, they contribute to it.

There are so many thing that need to be changed in our mental health system and listing them all is not the purpose of this blog article. The purpose is to raise awareness that our next president needs to do something about the problem that involves everyone in the United States.  25% of the voters have a mental illness. That is a huge voting base. Our questions deserve to be answered. I personally have not decided who I would vote for, but a lot of what would determine that would be based on their mental health plan.  How can I do that if the candidates are not even being held accountable to answer questions from the mental health community?

If you are a mental health advocate, your help is needed now! Please join our efforts in getting mental health to be a hot topic in the debates.  Advocates are starting to join forces to bombard our candidates and the media.  Consider being one of those people who can make this all happen.  Together we can make a difference!

The two main places right now that are discussing ways to go about this are on MHAU’s page and mainly in our advocacy group Advocates for People with Mental Illnesses. You are welcome to join our community of over 18,000 members. If you would rather not do that, there are so many other things you can do.  As all this develops I will write another blog.  However, I did want you to have a way to contact all the candidates and the two television stations who will be having the next two debates now.

In the group, we are working on form letters, FB messages, tweets, etc. We are also encouraging people to think outside the box and write their own and contact celebrities who are advocates, their psychiatrists, their local media stations and the ideas are continuously pouring in.

The list of the candidates are below in no particular order.  They all need to talk about mental health and mental illness.  Most of them have at least FB and Twitter pages.  I provided mailing addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers if they were readily available. 

Let’s do this!  We might have a mental illness, but we are intelligent individuals who matter.  It is time our voices are heard.  If you would like to contact me personally, my email address is [email protected] 

Note: I write under the name Bipolar Bandit, but I also founded the advocacy group mentioned above and operate the page.   The same article can be found on MHAU’s website, but I know different people read this blog, so I wanted to share it here too.


The Presidential Candidates Need to Talk about Mental Health

difference

It does not matter if you have already picked out your candidate, if you are a Republican or a Democrat, or what issues that are being debated that matter most to you.  However, if you are a mental health advocate, one issue that really should make a difference in how you vote and is hardly being talked about at all is mental health and mental illness.

The candidates have mentioned that something needs to be done about it, but very few if any have talked about a specific plan that would help not only the mental health community and/or society in general.

One in four people in the United States have a mental illness. Even more have a family member, co-worker, or friend who has a mental illness.  If that is not the case, I can argue that everyone is affected by mental illness in any way.  Only about 1% of tragedies involve people with mental illness, but the media likes to point out when they are and rarely take the opportunity to educate the public about the illness that person has, things to look for if you suspect someone might have a mental illness, what resources are available, and that stigma is a problem. Instead, they contribute to it.

There are so many thing that need to be changed in our mental health system and listing them all is not the purpose of this blog article. The purpose is to raise awareness that our next president needs to do something about the problem that involves everyone in the United States.  25% of the voters have a mental illness. That is a huge voting base. Our questions deserve to be answered. I personally have not decided who I would vote for, but a lot of what would determine that would be based on their mental health plan.  How can I do that if the candidates are not even being held accountable to answer questions from the mental health community?

If you are a mental health advocate, your help is needed now! Please join our efforts in getting mental health to be a hot topic in the debates.  Advocates are starting to join forces to bombard our candidates and the media.  Consider being one of those people who can make this all happen.  Together we can make a difference!

The two main places right now that are discussing ways to go about this are on MHAU’s page and mainly in our advocacy group Advocates for People with Mental Illnesses. You are welcome to join our community of over 18,000 members. If you would rather not do that, there are so many other things you can do.  As all this develops I will write another blog.  However, I did want you to have a way to contact all the candidates and the two television stations who will be having the next two debates now.

In the group, we are working on form letters, FB messages, tweets, etc. We are also encouraging people to think outside the box and write their own and contact celebrities who are advocates, their psychiatrists, their local media stations and the ideas are continuously pouring in.

The list of the candidates are below in no particular order.  They all need to talk about mental health and mental illness.  Most of them have at least FB and Twitter pages.  I provided mailing addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers if they were readily available. 

Let’s do this!  We might have a mental illness, but we are intelligent individuals who matter.  It is time our voices are heard.  If you would like to contact me personally, my email address is [email protected] 

Note: I write under the name Bipolar Bandit, but I also founded the advocacy group mentioned above and operate the page.   The same article can be found on MHAU’s website, but I know different people read this blog, so I wanted to share it here too.


Yeah, It’s Another Post About Poop

You guys. YOU GUYS.

No, wait, I don’t even wanna say it….I’ll jinx it.

Nah, fuck it, I’m enjoying this too much…

I’M VERY SLIGHTLY CONSTIPATED!

You have no idea what this means to me. I’ve been the opposite of very slightly constipated for like 7 months and it sucked super hard and I was taking Imodium almost every day (which is expensive) and I saw a dietician who recommended that I cut out a number of food items temporarily which made me cry in the grocery store at least once because you try removing garlic from your diet. It’s in fucking everything and it’s delicious and also I wasn’t supposed to have gluten or mangoes which is inconvenient on the first count and just plain mean on the second. Mangoes are angel poop. I’d say I’d eat my weight in mangoes, but I don’t weigh very much and I’d go to town on a more-than-a-Laura-sized helping of mangoes.

So, since I’m feeling a little better for the first time in months, it might make sense for me to maintain the dietary restrictions ’cause they might be the cause of this. But also, IBS is somewhat like bipolar in that people usually have episodes and then are fine for a while. I super hope I’m fine for a while. I’m gonna start wearing alarmingly formfitting clothes. Like so tight that my organs will have to shift to accommodate the garments. STOKED.

For those just tuning in, Irritable Bowel Syndrome and bipolar occur together a lot. Same with either of the aforementioned two and migraines. I have all 3. This unfortunate circumstance can be both a good thing and a bad thing. Bad because they’re a lot to handle and can get really uncomfortable, but good ’cause if they’re related, hypothetically, you could get to the root of the problem and maybe deal with 2 or 3 at a time. Right now, I’m double dipping with Depakote which is a mood stabilizer that also prevents migraines. That’s pretty cool. Migraines are frequently debilitating and I’ve sacrificed entire days to my migraines.

Then again, my mood’s been looking up and I haven’t been spending a nonconsecutive 90 minutes on the toilet in the morning. Wondering if that’s coincidental or not. Trying not to care. I’m not typing from my toilet right now (you guys, sometimes I write these posts from my toilet, you probably should’ve just assumed that, though). So, I may be back here tomorrow to tell you that my victory shits were short lived and I’m back to mainlining Imodium again (I don’t actually inject my anti-diarrheals intravenously, that’d be weird), but that’s a problem for Friday Laura.

So, my sisters and brothers in defecation, I hope you’re pooping like a rockstar today. I know I am.

-LB

Tagged: bipolar disorder, comorbidity, diet, food, IBS, meds, migraines, poop, wellness

Yeah, It’s Another Post About Poop

You guys. YOU GUYS.

No, wait, I don’t even wanna say it….I’ll jinx it.

Nah, fuck it, I’m enjoying this too much…

I’M VERY SLIGHTLY CONSTIPATED!

You have no idea what this means to me. I’ve been the opposite of very slightly constipated for like 7 months and it sucked super hard and I was taking Imodium almost every day (which is expensive) and I saw a dietician who recommended that I cut out a number of food items temporarily which made me cry in the grocery store at least once because you try removing garlic from your diet. It’s in fucking everything and it’s delicious and also I wasn’t supposed to have gluten or mangoes which is inconvenient on the first count and just plain mean on the second. Mangoes are angel poop. I’d say I’d eat my weight in mangoes, but I don’t weigh very much and I’d go to town on a more-than-a-Laura-sized helping of mangoes.

So, since I’m feeling a little better for the first time in months, it might make sense for me to maintain the dietary restrictions ’cause they might be the cause of this. But also, IBS is somewhat like bipolar in that people usually have episodes and then are fine for a while. I super hope I’m fine for a while. I’m gonna start wearing alarmingly formfitting clothes. Like so tight that my organs will have to shift to accommodate the garments. STOKED.

For those just tuning in, Irritable Bowel Syndrome and bipolar occur together a lot. Same with either of the aforementioned two and migraines. I have all 3. This unfortunate circumstance can be both a good thing and a bad thing. Bad because they’re a lot to handle and can get really uncomfortable, but good ’cause if they’re related, hypothetically, you could get to the root of the problem and maybe deal with 2 or 3 at a time. Right now, I’m double dipping with Depakote which is a mood stabilizer that also prevents migraines. That’s pretty cool. Migraines are frequently debilitating and I’ve sacrificed entire days to my migraines.

Then again, my mood’s been looking up and I haven’t been spending a nonconsecutive 90 minutes on the toilet in the morning. Wondering if that’s coincidental or not. Trying not to care. I’m not typing from my toilet right now (you guys, sometimes I write these posts from my toilet, you probably should’ve just assumed that, though). So, I may be back here tomorrow to tell you that my victory shits were short lived and I’m back to mainlining Imodium again (I don’t actually inject my anti-diarrheals intravenously, that’d be weird), but that’s a problem for Friday Laura.

So, my sisters and brothers in defecation, I hope you’re pooping like a rockstar today. I know I am.

-LB

Tagged: bipolar disorder, comorbidity, diet, food, IBS, meds, migraines, poop, wellness