Ugh. I’m not sure if I’m happy or not with May.
Considering I was hospitalized fairly recently, I guess I am doing pretty good. I am sleeping well, taking my meds regularly, and getting along with life. But ick…part of me does not feel like I am making it.
So I’m looking at my template and trying to see how I did for the month. Let’s start off with
EXERCISE: This was not good, as usual. I met with a personal trainer for two sessions. (Out of desperation…) I really liked her, but she is $40 a session. That’s pretty ridiculous. But that’s what I need. Someone to stand over me and make me exercise. However, I can think of better things to do with $40. I exercised exactly TWICE during May. I want to bump this up to six times during June.
I thought I might take some early morning hikes with my husband. Something on a smooth path. This would also kill my goal of doing something with him that he likes.
GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE: I got out of the house 21 days this month. This is a HUGE improvement over April. I think this is due to the Abilify. It’s pretty impressive for me to get up off the couch, be showered and dressed and go somewhere. This is probably my shining star activity for May.
DRINKING WATER: I start out fine on this and just dwindle off. My Jenny Craig consultant mentioned yesterday I should drink like 72 ounces or some wild amount like that. I am settling for four big glasses a day.I am averaging two right now. IF I quit drinking soda and tea, I can drink all this water.
COOKING: I’ve been cooking or arranging dinner every night. It’s getting hot and we’re having company and going on some trips till June 20th. So cooking will be off and on. It’s going to be every man for himself some nights.
BEST FRIEND: This has been going really well. We have plans to see each other three times (this is tentative) during the summer. We’ve been texting and calling. I think our relationship is fairly healed from my mania. (From my perspective at least.) I think I am taking this off my template. It’s going fine.
READING DEVOTIONAL: Did this 21 days out of 30. I’m going to crank it up to 25 or so and use a harder devotional. I want to read a Bible passage from my devotional every day.
JENNY CRAIG FOOD PLAN: Oh God! I had 5 “perfect” days this month. I need to stop eating other stuff. If I stick with the Jenny food, I am not starving. One big hindrance this month will be the travel and guests. We eat out more of course. I am going to try to: only order water to drink, avoid bread, tortilla chips, etc, and take home half of my food. I can also order from the “light” menu. This won’t be perfect. I like my wine with a meal out.
SHOWERING: A victory here! I’ve been showering every three days with no problem. I think about what I am doing the next morning and make sure I shower and my hair is clean for the morning. This is much better.
CANCELLING: I cancelled a lot again. Six times during the month. Just got up some days and could not do it. But I made up the activity with the friend quickly. I’d like to really stop the cancelling. It gets old.
WEIGHT: I was supposed to lose 4 pounds this month…one per week. I actually wound up gaining a pound. I was so embarrassed about this I thought about lying to you guys, but then I thought that was sort of defeating the purpose and was stupid. This all ties together…if I drink my water, stay on the food plan and exercise I will lose the weight. Duh. I am weighing myself and recording every day.
I went to church twice. That won’t be much better this month with all the travel.
I saw EIGHT friends. Most of this was eating out, so that helps explain that extra pound. But I was proud of myself for getting out.
I went to my bipolar group twice. I am taking a break from this. Really depressing and I want to look forward. Have mixed feelings here.
Went to women’s group three times. This is a good and supportive group. I checked my friend list three times and contacted people as needed.
I saw my pdoc and therapist once. I am still up in the air about my therapist and Medicare, etc. It cracks me up that she is 65 and on Medicare but she does not take it as insurance. Go figure.
I got a massage, got a bone density scan, and saw the dentist.
I’m taking off the best friend contact goal.
I’m adding in doing something alone with each child once a month.
Things are changing mentally for me. I need some excitement and “sparkle” in my life. My husband is very content to go along with life and putter around the house and work part time. He’s happily semi-retired.
I was forced to retire. I’m bored. I need to find something to do that I WANT to do, not just something that fills time. Part of me wants to help others, but part just wants to be hypomanic. I’m only 56 in a few weeks, not dead. I didn’t have a midlife crisis…maybe this is it.
Oops…almost forgot. I have a goal for the blog! I’d like to hit 1000 followers by the end of June. It’s a good round number. I need to get out there in the blogging world and meet people.
love to all-