Jealousy

jealousy

Prompt: What are you jealous of?

(P.S. This post is written a bit tongue-in-cheek…I’m not the mean, evil person described.)

Now I know the Christian and polite thing to say is “I have no jealousy of others…I am happy with what I have.” And I do feel that way to a certain extent. But I thought I’d search the corners of my soul and really come up with some good answers. Why not? I’m a little bit off anyway.

1) I get really jealous when certain friends of mine talk about things they did or are doing with other friends. This doesn’t apply to every friend I have, but there are three or four that drive me crazy when they discuss plans with other girlfriends. My best friend is one of these. She lives in another state, so of course she has other friends and I want her to. But it still kills me when I hear she’s out having fun.

2) I hate other people who are nice and thin. Not the kind of thin you see on models, but the “normal” kind of thin. I’d like to be able to buy clothes at any regular old store and have them fit easily. I’d like to not be hungry so much. I’d like not to be focused on the food at parties. It would be great to WANT to have my picture taken.

3) I am really jealous of people who can cheerfully hold jobs. Since I went out on disability, I have felt like a nothing. I miss teaching. I miss the other teachers and the kids. I miss having my own classroom with my name on it. I miss telling people that I am a teacher. Now I just tell them I am “early retired” and stopped working to spend time with my husband who works from home. I hate feeling disabled and unable to handle a job.

4) OMG…people who travel. I don’t even look at Facebook anymore. I just got too jealous. I have always wanted to travel and see everything. Now I’m getting older and I know some things are out of reach. It’s depressing. I worry about a big trip to Europe, for example, and wonder if my bipolar could handle it. Plus, I have my tight husband. We have the money but all I hear is “We have two kids still in college”. Gag me if I hear that one more time. We DO have some friends going on a European river cruise in August of 2016, so I am hoping to talk him into that.

5) People with ambitious kids are annoying. Our kids have accomplished their fair share but it is because we have stood over them with a whip. My middle son is amazingly bright, yet he shows no ambition and lost a scholarship because of poor grades. My daughter is somewhat ambitious but in high school never tried out for anything. And my youngest…the former pot smoker….spent time the hard way at McDonald’s. Do any of you get those braggy Christmas letters? Every one else’s kid is going to be a brain surgeon after they get back from their all-expense paid European tour.

6) This is a big one. I drool over people with decluttered houses. I love it when you walk in and everything is simplified. The hostess knows exactly where the utensils and pots and pans are. They have minimum dishware. If they ask you to open a cupboard or drawer you are not attacked by what is in there. I did read that clutter bothers bipolar people and I believe it. I wish poof! that some of my husband’s collections would disappear. And that his idea of a good time would not be Goodwill.

7) This one is somewhat lame. I am jealous of people who have one of those back up screens in their car. I drive an older Tahoe, which I don’t mind, but it sits up so high I hate to back it out. I actually hit someone doing that one time. No injuries, but I was sure embarrassed. I will park pretty far away from where I am going if I can pull the car through and not have to back out.

8) I am jealous of people whose daughters’ have big weddings. My daughter is 27 and shows no signs of getting married, but when she does I’d like to have it really nice. Of course, she informed me she’d just like a quiet, simple thing. Her dad will be thrilled! But I wanted to have all of my friends be able to come and see her in her dress. I sort of hope maybe she’ll meet a guy with a big family. And his mother will insist on something bigger.

9) I’d like a storage shed in our backyard. This isn’t exactly a fancy thing to envy but I would love one. It would get all of the tools and junk off of the back patio. If I could clean up the back patio I could get some furniture to sit on. Once again, since we have “two kids in college”, we are saving our money. (Since one graduates in December, my husband can’t say that for much longer.)

10) I envy my friend Debbie. She has three children (older than ours) and they are all married. And she likes all of the spouses. AND she has three grandchildren. She Skypes with everyone, keeps in close touch, and flies to see them regularly. She is like the perfect grandmother and mother-in-law. I’d love to be like that.

Of course, I wish I didn’t have a mental illness. I wish I could be up and running around with a lot of energy.

So there are the things I’m jealous of. If you’re jealous of something, throw it in the comments. We’d all love to hear it!

If you’re one of those people who are never jealous, I’m jealous of YOU!

hugs, lily

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