E is for everything, but I do not love everything.
I wasn’t going to include humans in this challenge theme, but hopefully the fact that he’s a fictional character will negate that, even though in a fantastical world with numerous races, he is, of course, human.
The world is all grown strange.
The world is Middle Earth, the book is The Lord of the Rings, and the man is Éomer. Almost alone among feminists, I do not give a tinker’s cuss about the gender disparity etc etc in the books. Let me tell you briefly why; because it was the early twentieth century ffs, not to mention Tolkien’s careers. Stop pointing that tampax at me, none of it makes me a vagina traitor or whatever the ferk … etc etc.
Éomer! Éomer was Éowyn’s brother, nephew and adopted son of Théoden King and at the time of the bits you might have seen in the films, was the Third Marshall of the Riddermark. If you’re not a
nerd like me die hard fan, you may remember him as the dude who saved Merry and Pippin from the orcs, or possibly as Karl Urban. I hope you remember him at the battles of Pelennor Fields and the Hornburg too.
“It is hard to be sure of anything among so many marvels. The world is all grown strange. Elf and Dwarf in company walk in our daily fields; and folk speak with the Lady of the Wood and yet live; and the Sword comes back to war that was broken in the long ages ere the fathers of our fathers rode into the Mark! How shall a man judge what to do in such times?” (The Two Towers: The Riders of Rohan)
His sword was Guthwine, his horse was Firefoot, he went on to become the king, he married Lothiriel … and I’m not fangirling at all … ahem. Karl Urban will no doubt be thrilled to hear that I like him very well in the role. The character you see on film is a great portrayal of the book version. Éomer is serious, loyal, brave, determined, ethical and generous of spirit. I am totally not sighing like a fanboi now and wishing I was him. Nope. I certainly don’t wish I was one of the Eastmark Rohirrim and could follow him into battle. Not. At. All. E is for escapism too.
Note to Gandalf: Let Éomer kill Grima Wormtongue next time ffs.
Here’s Èomer calling bs on Saruman the Shite:
“Lord, hear me! Now we feel the peril that we were warned of. Have we ridden forth to victory, only to stand at last amazed by an old liar with honey on his forked tongue? So would the trapped wolf speak to the hounds, if he could. What aid can he give to you, forsooth? All he desires is to escape from his plight. But will you parley with this dealer in treachery and murder? Remember Theodred at the Fords, and the grave of Hama in Helm’s Deep!” (The Two Towers: The Voice of Saruman)
No flies on Èomer yo. Not even one. The man is integrity with a helm on top. Rawr. And this, ohhhhh this …
“Out of doubt, out of dark to the day’s rising
I came singing in the sun, sword unsheathing.
To hope’s end I rode and to heart’s breaking:
Now for wrath, now for ruin and a red nightfall!”
(The Return of the King: The Battle of Pelennor Fields)
Brb going to kick some orcs. Stirring stuff. Apart from all the general brave and honest hotness, there is Rohan itself. That’s another thing about the films that made me happy; it’s just as I imagined it. I love the lands, the horses, the banners, the … you get the gist.
I’m so glad that Tolkien gave Éomer a happily ever after.