Everybody’s Talkin’ (Except Me Because I Have Nothing To Say Right This Sec)

I am astonished by how astonished I am that I have so many covers of Harry Nilsson’s classic novelty jam, “Coconut” in my library. Right now I’m listening to one by Fred Schneider from the B-52s and it sounds EXACTLY how you think it would.

I wrote like 11 drafts of this post and deleted all but this one because the only thing I needed to say is that I have therapy today and I have nothing to talk about which is really disconcerting because my doctor will let a pause get pregnant and pregnant-er until I spill my guts about anything in the hopes it’ll circle back around to something worth talking about. It’s a really good strategy.

Everything is fine. I think I’m gonna waste the session talking about Harry Nilsson.

Harry Nilsson is one of only 3 blonde dudes I’ve ever wanted to bang. I mean, not now, obviously, ’cause he died in the 90’s, so that’d be hard to swing. But before he had 8 kids? I’d hop on that train, no hesitation.

Harry Nilsson is sometimes referred to as the 5th Beatle, which is kind of unfair because Harry Nilsson is better than the Beatles. John Lennon produced on of his later albums and it’s SO DEPRESSINGLY BAD. John Lennon ruins everything.

I wonder what Harry Nilsson thought about Soundgarden.

If I got to watch Harry Nilsson fistfight Paul Simon, there’s no way any possible outcome would leave me dissatisfied.

Nilsson Sings Newman should be rocketed into space as humanity’s ambassador to all aliens.

I don’t do hard drugs anymore, but I would to ALL the drugs with Harry Nilsson if he called me up and was like, “Laura, I have all the drugs. Let’s do all the drugs together.” Yes, Harry. Let’s.

And then my 50 minutes would be up. I mean, I guess I have some insurance stuff to discuss with my doc, but I’m not insured by Harry Nilsson, so I feel like it’d be really hard to keep me on track.

Sorry about the throwaway post (except I’m not really that sorry, but I feel like I should be). Umm…I guess I should go to therapy. Dig this in my absence:

-LB

Tagged: doctor, drugs, Harry Nilsson, music, psychotherapy, Randy Newman

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