a social suicide note

There’s this cool post over at After Midnight and this caught my eye as a really interesting thought experiment.

Write as if you have decided not to blog after this; your last blog.

I wrote this post a couple of days ago.

There are abandoned blogs and bits of my digital detritus all over the internet; I like to imagine them as tumbleweed. However, even if I’ve rage quit, I’ve just stopped, without announcement or explanation. I’m craven that way. So what would I say, if I avoided trying to be the who-was-that-man lone ranger, striding off into the sunset?

Dearly beloved and bebloggered, I am gathered here today …

Dearly bewildered, I keep getting stuck on the ‘why’ part of this hypothesis. Like … what’s my motivation, dudes?

LOL.

Dearly beleaguered, here I am today with no clue what to say.

So tempting just to say …

image

It’d grow increasingly poignant the longer I was away and of course, the unicorn would soon be obese. My intention to brb would be thwarted by angry mythical animal rights activists and I would end up in a scary third world gaol, having to bribe guards to bring me a plateful of maggots as sustenance.

Or maybe the passive aggressive approach …

image

Don’t worry about me *theatrical sigh*. Or perhaps the enigmatic one …

image

At least it has a reassuring smiley. Or absolutely no nonsense and practical …

image

D is for DOS. Kthxbye.

And tbh, it’d only be a permanent absence because I’d inevitably forget the password, and then forget which email acc I’d used …

I’d miss you guys. You’re the people who haven’t grown bored with me talking about bipolar, because most of you have it too. I’d struggle more without these easy friendships and the valuable input and info I get from you. I’d be lonelier without you. I only know one bipolar person irl and even that isn’t a particularly close connection (but it is valuable). I’ve been thinking, reading and writing less about The Disorder (haha) lately and yet I still need this context; I need this space that we make with our blogs and comments. I AM NOT BLOODYWELL LEAVING AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME! *cough*

It’s hypothetical, blah, chill the fark out ffs.

I really probably would just say brb though. And I’d keep reading your blogs and actually, if I also commented on your blogs, I wouldn’t really be gone and … have you noticed that I only ever have circular arguments?

Fuckit. I have done no justice to a really great topic, but it was fun to write, nonetheless.

And an addendum type thingy … I was talking to a friend earlier, who told me that even 10mins on fb per day increases depression. I told them about twitter triggering psychosis. These days I only use fb and pinterest (autocorrect says pin erect), pinterest is barely social and fb … I spent 3 months off it towards the end of last year. I don’t have the cojones to deactivate, because I’d have no contact at all with some people then. So I use it and when I’m lively it’s fun and when I’m bleak it is dark. Too much fun revs me too hard, too much darkness intensifies my own private raincloud. It was tough to give up twitter, but I’m glad I did. Of course, blogging is social networking too – but I reckon this is very healthy and helpful.

Comments are closed.