postmodernism can kiss my mulish ass

I’m either headed for PMS or a mixed episode *grin* you’ll see what I mean if you read this post. Sorry I haven’t answered comments lately, just had a rather rough few days – no train smashes, I just get silent sometimes. Thank you for your beautiful words about grief etc.

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Chin up, stiff upper lip, pull yourself straight and fly right, straighten your spine, tally ho, onwards and upwards, get stoic. That is almost always bad advice. What it’s telling you is that you must be unbending, unyielding and immovable, which would make you brittle and that will make you as vulnerable as you were before all of that straightening and stiffening. You can make up your own simile and be something that bends but doesn’t break, if you want to. Really though, unless you are (like) a doormat, you’ll probably get by with a mixture of being yourself and accepting help.

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There’s a movement out there squeaking don’t label, don’t pathologise, don’t other us, just accept us blah blah blaaahhh. Such people have totally ‘bipolar’ views, on the one hand it’s all I love you just the way you are and on the other, get this book/course it’ll change your life, self, behaviour. Whut? You can’t have both, unless you alter the manifesto to say accept us while we adapt to become more like you.

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I will admit here and now, to being otherwise, contrary and as stubborn as a mule. Apart from driving directions or work, I will probably resist instructions. Passive aggro is my thing. All I’m saying, is that the gung go approach doesn’t work on me. I imagine it’s frustrating for whoever is trying to help me. I’ve tried to change; I just end up with a fireball inside me, just waiting for an excuse to erupt and close airports. I’m not proud of it, although it has done me as much good as bad.

Warning, unhelpful advice ahead.

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BOOM!

I will say this yet again too. Whenever I hear someone suggesting meds free treatment for bipolar, I want to gnash my teeth, then cry. In case any of you irresponsible fools are reading this, nutrition and psychology cannot fix a NEUROTOXIC problem. They also cannot stave off BRAIN DAMAGE, EARLY ONSET DEMENTIA AND EXCESS CORTISOL PRODUCTION. I loathe caps lock, which ought to give you an idea of the extent of my weepy, gnashing attitude.

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