blah to the polah

It gets better? Hmmm. Well, it does get boring.

I mailed my psychiatrist as agreed. 200mg lamotrigine has not turned my life around, so that will be increased. My concentration hasn’t improved, so it’ll be concerta time. And I’ll be trying phenergan for sleep. She hasn’t replied yet, it’s just that I know that’s what it’ll be, because that’s what we discussed before. So sometime this week or early next, she will email and I will go to the pharmacy. Everyone knows me there now, because I’m there so often. They are kind.

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Everything except sadness is a mission. I do all the right things and it alleviates things for a little while sometimes. And so it goes. At least it’s quiet and devoid of drama. The lather-rinse-repeat of it all is the attempt to do as much as I can, obey the medication regime, distract myself from shitty thoughts, do the healthy stuff …

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Despite that emo meme, giving up is not an option for about another decade, so no worries there.

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