Tired

Today I am too tired to cry. Some of it is mental tired, but a lot of it is physical tired.

So a bit of housekeeping: I am still taking the Blogging 101 course and am hanging in there. I’ve completed all the assignments but the current one, which has to do with linking posts from other people’s blogs. I keep looking at it and it just doesn’t gel. So I may just skip it or hope they come around to it again.

I’m going to do Uncle Matt #3 as my next post and that will finish that up. I’ve been hearing from him a lot since he is out of prison. He calls me about every three days just to see how I am. I don’t think he likes to hear that I am not doing too well. My husband says he just wants money and is mad I won’t come over and give him some. (I think it’s probably a little of both.)

I wanted to write a full post today and catch the blog up. I’m trying to get my mind a bit more organized.

Oh, my nephew Jack is having a bit of a rough time with the chemo. He says he feels pretty “crummy”. So keep good thoughts for him.

This might sounds strange but I actually came up with a spreadsheet to keep track of my recovery. So I can give it a glance and know how I am doing in all the areas I am trying to reach. It’s pretty slick, if a bit annoying. It sort of reminds you at (too quick) of a glance at your progress. Here we go:

In the first 14 days of January, I have exercised 3 days. Woohoo! This was 2 days of walking and one of yoga.I think I need to improve a bit here. I keep reading about how 30 minutes a day (no more) will do it for the depression. It seems so simple and yet is so hard. I just have no excuse and wonder if it ever will happen.

I have had 3 or 4 of my diet shakes every day and have greatly increased my water intake. Now this is not a perfect result, but it is an improvement. I need to keep being faithful to the shakes and water. I feel lots better on the water than I do on any soda. My tummy doesn’t like a lot of anything since my new meds.

I have cooked dinner EVERY night this month except for three nights when we had other plans. I made a monthly menu for this month and send my husband to the grocery once a week. I send him to the big warehouse store once a month. This is all going very well. When I don’t feel well, I make him sit with me while I cook.

Canceling out on stuff: I have cancelled on something 6 days out of 14. This includes doctors appts, friends, support groups…anything I was “supposed” to go to. This needs to improve.

I had texting contact with my best friend 7 days this month. I talked to her once on the phone.

I’ve been doing well on my devotional studies. I have done them 11 out of 14 days. It’s really becoming a habit.

Weekly stuff….stuff to get done about 4 times a month. Missed church for two weeks but took some stuff in for missions. I really should try to get there this week. I saw a friend last week. I have lots of people to see but no energy. I hope to maybe see another friend or two by the end of the month.

My support groups: ditched my women’s support group the last two weeks. Need to get back as this is a group that “feeds” me. Missed one but went to the other bipolar support group. Was glad I went to it. I also get fed there.

I’ve done my school volunteering twice this month so I am on track there. My volunteering is doing my daughter’s math lesson plans for her class. She has a mixed 1st and 2nd grade class so has to make two sets of plans for everything. So I told her I would do the math. She teaches special ed so needs all the help she can get.

I went on one date with my husband! Since we are now both basically retired, I made this a goal. Go out for a meal, or a movie, or a little hike, or something a few times a month. I looked over my friend list once to see who I need to schedule something with. Problem is I am too tired to schedule anything. But I certainly could text a few folks to say hi.

Monthly stuff: I talked to my therapist and my psychiatrist appt is next week. I gave myself credit also for seeing another doctor for random stuff. My book club is coming up next week and I have read the book. So…will I get there? Not sure. My favorite monthly activity is getting a massage. (I read somewhere this was good for depression so am giving it a shot.) I have an appointment.

I’m supposed to get weighed in twice a month at the weight doctor but have not gone yet. I want to try to make it at least once.

I have so many good things and opportunities set up. I have very few excuses (other than my mental health) for not doing what I need to to live a healthy happy life.

I am giving myself a little credit for a few things: I’m cooking dinner and doing devotionals regularly. I went to my bipolar group and talked to therapist Tuesday and went to doctor yesterday. And I did the math lesson plans and wrote this today. It’s progress…even though I am sooooo tired.

hugs,

lilytired

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