1. If I was standing at the top of a hillside, alone, and I wanted to shout until my throat hurt, what would I shout?
I love you. It’s the one thing that should be said more (eros, agape and all their little friends). Well, that or take your damn meds. Maybe they’re the same thing.
2. If faced with a situation that made me uncomfortable emotionally, would I stand my ground or run?
If I (take the time to) think, I generally want to run. I don’t run though. I stand my ground, sometimes very unwisely, because the worse I feel, the calmer I get and ultimately, the more cruelly I behave. Not good. You know how it goes right? You start off bulletproof … and then it’s some kind of cruddy cocktail of shame, regret, contrition. I loathe conflict. I am very, very bad at dealing with it without breaking my nose and heart. Taking on conflict to stand up for someone I care about doesn’t cause me any emotional discomfort until I’m thigh deep in corpses.
3. If I was a social butterfly and I could walk uninhibited into any place and do anything – what would that people and those things be. Have a gas? A quiet coffee? A dancing marathon? What? With who? Why?
Oh boy. I can … it takes hypomania or mania for the full butterfly effect and depending on the position on that *expletive deleted* spectrum, it could start with me monopolising the conversation and end with me attempting to rule the world. Bulletproof again … total *tons more expletives deleted* charmer (in my own mind), anything goes, anything is possible till
Social butterfly? I’m a social airforce. With anyone, everyone, because suddenly I’m *seriously it’s better these expletives are deleted* twinkletoes the tapdancing terrorist twins on speed.
Note to self:
I don’t often think, but when I think, I overthink.