The blog is useful for seeing cycles – I think this last mixed episode started on or nr 24 Nov and handed the torch to depression yesterday. Day 2 then. I use an app that tracks moods, meds, psychosis, periods – but never look at the graphs.
I installed a blue light filter on my phone, the screen seems kinder now. I feel like switching the phone off.
Abandonment – anxiety – grief dream the night before last, flight – anxiety dream last night. Vivid, even memorable. Yuk. I guess at least now I know what’s plaguing my subconscious most.
I was up at 5am. At 9am I’m going with my neighbour to get her blood tests done. I need to pick up some more Wellbutrin and things like bread.
Sensible things. I used to either be gung ho about the fight, or quietly patient. These days I think about its reasons and seasons instead, or I read novels and don’t think much at all.
The first casualty of depression is my sense of humour.
Don’t console me, because then I’ll have to find positive things to reply.
The world is good to live in, if you know how to live.
I don’t know who said that, some dude in the intro to slow emotion replay.