Pretty Things

xmas 010xmas 004xmas 012xmas 015So I wanted to show you some of the Christmas stuff we have up. I love this stuff. It is cheery and pretty. Sometimes with depression things don’t look so good. I’ve been spending some time each evening sitting in front of the lit tree, trying to play cocoon.

My nephew is on his second day of chemo today. The first day went well, but wow, is it long! From 10-5 all week. Next week, three days, and one day the last week. Then he starts the whole thing over. They sent him to a pulmonary doctor to see if there were any spots on his lungs. Everything looked clear. So I guess we just go along and see how it goes. I think we may be driving him to chemo on Thursday, so we can ask him how he is feeling then.

Jack graduates on Monday night from college. Thank God all this happened right at the end of his college career. It wasn’t in the middle of the semester or right at finals time. He’s got the time now to be sick. All three of my kids made arrangements to go to his graduation so we will all go as a family. I was glad they agreed to go without a fight. I think it’s important to show Jack a lot of support. And of course his mom and dad.

I’ve had a pretty good couple of days. I got up yesterday, did my devotionals, and some other little things. I baked some pumpkin bread. I picked up the living room, dining room, and the entry. I took a shower (hooray!) and then went to my women’s support group.

We had agreed to exchange gifts at this meeting and I had my little gifts ready. They were all wrapped nicely in cellophane. I was proud of myself. I felt like a normal person.

This morning I did a marathon of errands. First stop was a weigh-in at my diet doctor. I have gained six pounds in the last two months. Which is not exactly good, but considering the amount of sugar and food I have been eating is not bad. So I’m back on my food plan as of today….a diet shake 4 times a day and a reasonable amount of the dinner I cook for everyone. Plus giant amounts of water. Of course, a little exercise wouldn’t hurt. I go back in two weeks and weigh in again. My weight is a huge (pun intended) issue for me so I need to get going. Only good things will happen to me as I lose weight. And it’s not like I have to hit a goal…just the process of losing will make me feel better and better.

So after the weigh-in, we drove out to church to drop off our Christmas Angel gifts and ten jars of peanut butter. We’ve missed two weeks of church because of my sluggishness and depression. The church secretary asked if we had been feeling okay and I briefly told her about my bipolar. I told her I’d make it many Sundays but not all. She was very nice about it and said everyone appreciated anything we did. It was a relief to tell her.

Next, we headed out to do some Christmas shopping. I didn’t think it would be that crowded, since it was early on a Tuesday. But I was somewhat mistaken. We started at a big cosmetic store for my daughter. I found a little gift for her and bought her a gift certificate. Of course, the guy ringing me up was sort of confused. That started a bit of stress-out for me. Next, we went to a clothing store for her. Again, got a small gift for her and a gift certificate. The line was longer here. There were two people working the registers. Both of them were dealing with people with HUGE returns of stuff they had ordered online. This took forever. I sort of started feeling a bit mentally ill at this point.

We went to a large department store to get something for my brother and sister-in-law. At the first register we were at, there was a guy in front of me who was arguing over being charged $2 extra on his discount. The salesperson FINALLY explained it to him and he left. Ack! We went upstairs and I found a digital hand mixer for my sister-in-law. We get in line and I SWEAR the salesclerks had some sort of muscular illness. Their arms and hands moved so slowly, it was surreal. They were obviously not being paid for working quickly.

Later I went to my bipolar support group. We had some new people in there today. They were quiet, not moving much, and drugged. It served to remind me of how far I had come in my illness journey. I tried to say something to each of them and to give them a smile. I don’t know if it made a difference or not.

Tomorrow I am planning on a shower, a movie with a friend, making dinner in the slow cooker, and a visit to my psychiatrist. To have a successful day, I just have to make the shower.

For anyone who cares, I’ll talk a bit about that company party. Remember how I told you these people were Disney freaks? Well, the theme for this year was from the movie  “Frozen”. So the table was set in icicles and ice blue and white. It really did look pretty and I could tell they had worked hard. The bad news was they were supposed to have 17 people and only 7 of us showed up. So I am really, really glad I went. I think I got brownie points with the boss. I won the game of searching for ornaments and won two candlesticks. They’re pretty nice. It was fun, except we had steak and the people used plastic silverware. That was just wrong.

Hope everyone is surviving the holidays so far.

hugs,

lily

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