Daily Archives: September 5, 2014

New Project/New Blog

http://streamofbipolarness.wordpress.com

My daily stream of consciousness/processing journal, if you’re interested in the more mundane daily inner nonsense of my brain as opposed to my more grandiose and articulated musings. 


Football and Cheerleading

I have a son that plays football and my daughter is cheerleading. So between the two of them everyday except Sunday has my husband or I dropping off or picking up or going to games. I LOVE football!!! I am so glad it’s what my kids like to do. But, geesh, it’s a lot of time every fall once it starts. I feel like I don’t see my husband between his projects at home and me working 6 days. It’s so weird that I work part time and he doesn’t work and yet usually at least one day a week when end up saying, “I don’t feel like I even saw you today”. I don’t like that. I know it can’t really be helped and I love that my kids do things they enjoy, but being busy is hard for me.

I didn’t used to notice it as much. But somewhere in the last few years I have realized that being busy is totally not good for my mental health. There’s only so many things I can take care of and hold onto at one time. And inevitably when things get busy often my patience and manners are the first to go. I just don’t have time to be nice and take the time necessary to make other people feel ok with things. I’ve laughed about this many times, but I’m starting to see it for what it is. MY problem. I have got to learn to do better. I have done better over the years in my work environment, but in many ways my family has suffered.

I’m not from the school where if I’m in a bad mood everyone should suffer. Or that everyone deserves the same emotion from me. If my husband and I fight I try not to take it out on my kids and other people. I don’t always succeed but I do try. I just don’t think other people should pay the price for me fighting with a specific person. Or because of a difficult event. I probably fail at this more than I would like to think that I do. But this is one thing I wish that I could get better at. I wish that little things like a busy schedule didn’t sometimes make me into a raving lunatic. Or unable to handle anything.

I’m really good at just blocking things out when I am overwhelmed. Which is quite frequently lately. If my kids are fighting and I can’t deal I just block them out or yell at them to stop. How fair s that? Ya, not fair that’s what I thought. But really they drive me batty sometimes. They argue and bicker over the dumbest stuff and it just drives me crazy. I guess I need to work on that some more.

I love football and I love fall. It’s beautiful, it cools down, but isn’t yet cold(although I love the cold) and it starts another year towards my kids growing up. I hope this time next year I will be better handle the busy schedule and the constant changes with less of an effect on me mentally.

Be blessed today!!