It’s Littlerbit, the Booper Trooper!
I live! Honest! And #2 has shown up finally. She was born here at home on the morning of the 16th, but I’ve been busy with her, and her big sister, and catching up a few people here and there on assorted and sundry life. And yes — she. It was our understanding that we were expecting another girl, but as you never know until you’re handed the baby, we preferred to not fully presume. I did feel it was a girl though, especially based on how extra-severe my chronic fatigue, nausea, and other such endometriosis-related symptoms seemed to be persisting. I figured — if it’s a girl, then that would mean more estrogen and other female hormones, and that could be making it super-crap.
I have to say, I am doing a LOT better this postpartum so far. Besides being in less pain and fatigue from a significantly shorter labour (when baby came, she came with all alacrity and speed, and like, 20 minutes of pushing), my base mood is a lot better ’cause yanno, turned the difficulty level down. I’m not breastfeeding this time because I’d much rather take my psych meds and be a sane mommy, and that also means I can take codeine for the assorted pain.
And yes, my Seroquel and I are reunited at last! I started with 50mg on the 16th, and am ramping that up by 50mg until I return to my previous dose of 400mg (200mg twice a day). I was up half that first night with my husband, because yanno, dealing with a person who doesn’t speak our language and doesn’t know how to communicate well, so we were both trying to support each other in sleeping and taking care of Littlerbit. I got to sleep the night through last night though, and oh.my.stars. I’m still way sore and exhausted (as can be expected), but I feel really freaking human and happy and stable.
And I can see how me being calm and happy is making for a calmer, happier baby. Funny how not having to use all your energy being scared of narcissist bullhonky frees up significant spoons, and the ability to have one’s guard down and *gasp* relax and enjoy the ride! Mind, I’m certainly wary of the possibility of postpartum depression atop the bipolar, or worse, postpartum psychosis. But I think that because I am able to be more honest with myself about my mood and state gives me a much better chance of avoiding these things, and if they do crop up, dealing with them.
So anyways, hooray, and back to getting caffeine in me, hee hee. And then, if I’m feeling especially badass? FOLD ALL THE LAUNDRY. *flex*
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