Okay, I am officially not a “tattoo” virgin anymore. Bex offered to pay for my tattoo, and I had the same design picked out for over 15 years, just never had the money. I mean, I was so devoted to this design, I put “red tigr” on my license plate ten years ago.
So the artist has a cancellation and she worked me in today and the estimate was much higher than what it cost for the size I wanted to the tat. I was, at first, driven and fearless. The longer she made me await (to sterilize and cool the equipment, to have a smoke break) the more my anxiety climbed. I am a “rip the bandaid off NOW” type girl. Being in a holding pattern with anticipation building…It sucked.
Then she was ready for me and I was expecting this bone shattering agony based on what others had told me…And it never came. It was uncomfortable, by a like a dozen thumb packs being driven into flesh. But the true “pain” never did come. Hell, the amnio I had while carrying my kid was worse. I’m not saying it was pleasant but I never made a sound, never cried out, never backed down and said stop. I was proud of myself, because truth be told, I am a wuss when it comes to pain. I did well.
And I was so afraid the locals would fuck it up and make it look like some prison caricature…It turned out beautifully and the colors show up brilliant on my skin. I am sooo happy. Bex granted me a 15 year dream in the making. I keep looking in the mirror to check it out, because it turned out better than I had dreamed of. It didn’t change my life or my mindset, but after 15 years…it was like, finally, I followed through on something. I am eternally grateful to Bex.
I got mixed reviews. I told my dad and he said,”Why’d you go on and get a tattoo? There was a story in today’s paper on all the diseased you can get from tattoos.” My mom and sister congratulated me on my courage and the way I stuck with this same design for so long.;
Family is mind fuck ass trash at times.
My shoulder is sore, but I’ve had sunburns that hurt worse, so it’s ok. I am so happy, so pleased with how it turned out. So happy I didn’t let the anxiety make me chicken out.
It almost makes up for the anxiety and mood crash that came with the day’s progress. I just can’t abide (the dude does NOT abide!) by the rapid shifts between stable and nutsy kookoo.
I LOVE this tattoo. It is awesome and I owe it to Bex and the artist. Thank you both from the bottom of my cold black heart.
So…I lost my tat virginity today and I have ZERO regrets.