Today I got frustrated with my mom – but not as bad as before

I love my mom. She’s a constant supportive and stable person in my life.

I’m sick, I have bronchitis and I’m trying to quit smoking. Slap those two together and I’m one irritable fuck. I called my mom a couple times but couldn’t carry on conversation. I kept getting frustrated, just not caring what she had to say. Usually I do, she always has something interesting to say. I’m used to saying “I’m going to let you go” and then chatting for 5 minutes after that. But I snapped at her. I felt terrible.

I went and bought a pack of light menthols and smoked one. I went back inside and called her again.

I felt like a bitch. I felt like an asshole. Who yells at their mother, someone who gives them the world, and always have, and will until the day they can’t anymore?

So I was crying. My mom picked up. She asked what was wrong. I said I was sorry for being so mean to her, for being such a bitch. That I was sick and craving cigarettes and I was just being mean and she didn’t deserve it.

She didn’t get mad.

She said, “You’ve been a lot worse, kiddo. Being sick isn’t easy, and neither is quitting smoking” and we chatted for a half hour and she forgot about it. She forgave me for it. I kept apologizing and she said not to worry.

I love my mom. She’s always forgiven me, even when I don’t deserve it. She always loves me, even when I don’t deserve it. She’s never told me I don’t deserve it.

But she did say, “You’ve been a lot worse”. And she’s right. I have.

She also didn’t  bat and eye when I came out to her as being genderqueer. She was supportive and said she’d support me no matter what.

Everyone needs a mom like mine.

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