I often ask myself when life situations become difficult, is it bipolar related, or just life related? I think that’s a distinction we all need to make from time-to-time. So what do you do when it’s just a simple case of life throwing lemons at your head? Often times I find I’m just floundering with emotion and there’s nothing to “do” with my anguish during a crisis. Today I was searching for an actionable answer, and this is what I came up with. Perhaps many of you came to it long before me….
The only thing you can really “do” with grief, that helps in any fashion, is to turn it into generosity. Take for example, a terrible experience you’ve been through, now find someone (preferably who you don’t even know) in a similar situation and just do something nice for them, something simple but thoughtful. The result is profound. I’ve found that it’s possible to basically relearn your emotions surrounding your traumatic event. Instead of dwelling on the suffering, it’s more natural to hold onto the positivity you created. I don’t know… maybe it’s far too simplistic of a notion but it seems very powerful to me.
It’s not exactly “paying it forward” because that means someone did something nice for you, and now you repay the good deed. That’s tit-for-tat, karma driven kind of behavior. This is more transformative. It means offering someone your hand when they’re in a hole. We’ve all been in holes, some of us have been in really deep ones that we dug ourselves. So, if you see someone in a deep hole, even if you don’t know them, why not offer some advice, a kind gesture, or a gift? Why not look at the vision of your former self and send out a life raft (preferably a life raft full of presents, cake, and smiley faces)?
Maybe we can all try this as we go over life events in our past? It doesn’t let you re-write your history, but it does put a very positive spin on how you live your future. Your generosity, kindness, and empathy might really change things for someone who has not had the benefit of your personal experience. Everyone has something to offer another soul, especially in times of turbulence.
There’s no way to predict how your actions will affect that other person, and it’s really not entirely the point. The gesture of generosity is the part that eases the pain of trauma. I did exactly what I’m describing just this week, and it left me feeling refreshed and relieved, happy and thankful.
I guess I keep coming back to this other point also: Just because you have bipolar doesn’t mean you have less to offer humanity. It doesn’t mean you have limitations in a soulful sense. If you believe you do, figure out how to surmount that. Where is your hang up and how can you move through it? Be committed to the life you want to lead and make a plan. Act on that plan. Others will feel the positive influx of your special (and hopefully quite quarky) spirit.
I just blocked somebody from commenting on my blog. I felt bad doing it, but this person arouses feeling of rage every time I see their comments. I feel like I shouldn’t feel this way. I know exactly what they would say if they saw this. What’s even more aggravating is that they post from multiple locations, resulting in multiple IP addresses that I have to block individually. I feel like a creep doing it, but I have to save my sanity, what’s left of it, and take care of my high blood pressure.
What I really want is to block this person from even accessing my blog (actually I have a couple of stalkers–yes, really–that I’d like to block) but according to WP there’s no way to do that other than making it a private blog, and that would mean being invisible to the wonderful world of blogging friends who have found my blog, usually via other mental health bloggers. So there’s nothing to do about that.
Please know that this is a tiny group of people that I know personally, from the distant past, and have serious issues with, who found my blog through various searches. It does not apply to my “bloggie” community, at all, at all.
Have any of you had to take measures to prevent unwanted comments or lurkers or stalkers? What did you do about it?
Yesterday was ass trash. I was irritable and jumpy and I just didn’t want to cope with anyone or anything. Still I semi cleaned house because I knew my mother was bringing my kid new shoes and I don’t her telling me I keep an unfit house for Spook.
It never got better, either.
Today is…Crash crash burn. Saturday’s good mood left in a hurry and now I am low again. Not like a bad day low or I’ve got the blues. I mean, from the top of a skyscraper to pavement. It’s in my bones. I am irritable again. I guess its to be expected with new med but it’s still annoying and frustrating.
How can I interact normally when I am never stable for two days in a row? And whose Cheerios did I piss in to deserve this shit?
Anyway…enough belly aching before someone calls a wahhhmbulance.
I borrow this off someone else’s blog cos I thought it was hysterical
I hate the message in this article. It was written by a therapist, and reviewed by a doctor, and yet still published…twice.
The article is meant to convey why people resist care and medication for mental health conditions. It states the following as reasons why someone might resist mental health care:
The implications for the future are also painful and involved:
- Grieving the loss of some of their dreams and the ability to have normal lives
- Lowering their expectations for what they will have in their lives
- Reducing symptoms, and thus seeing the limitations of their lives, can be more painful than being lost in psychosis.
If I thought for a moment that by accepting the need for help, and treatment, I would be given the message that a “normal” life is impossible, then heck I’d probably want to avoid that too. Likewise, why would ANYONE lower their expectations for what they will ‘have’ because of their condition, if they are in fact seeking treatment? Lastly, if you reduce someone’s symptoms you are bringing about relief, so I don’t comprehend how you could make the argument that reducing symptoms would lead to an instant recognition of limitations on one’s life! If you improve well-being, you lessen suffering, and I assure you that is far more preferable than living in a manic or depressive state. None of these statements add up, if your health care pro has their head on straight.
Treatment should mean your future goals are more possible, and your expectations should be that of restored health and wellness, as much as is humanly possible. I should hope anyone who is experiencing less than a functional state of wellness would keep striving for more, working with their doctor, and researching options. Don’t eat up this message of hopelessness that is so often circulated.
I for one feel like what I ‘have’ in my life has only become more meaningful over time, as I worked my way towards stability and happiness. Similarly, my expectations for a (continued) bright future are more certain with everyday that passes because every day I make choices that improve my chances for lasting wellness. I for one advocate a message to others that they should expect recovery, and not listen to bullshit like this that demands we fill our already fragile egos with attitudes chock-full of boundaries and barriers. That’s stigma talking, and it’s coming from physicians in this particular bit of “writing.”
Posted in Read Along