Bad Solutions

I have a list of things I could post today, but there’s one problem – depression. It hit me yesterday, but I didn’t realize it. You’d think by now I’d know the signs when it is about to rear it’s ugly head. We went to Maurice’s parents for Labor Day but I really wasn’t there. I like his parents and they treat me as family, so normally everything is good. Sunday, however, I chatted with his mom for a little while, but that was it. The rest of the time I kept my face buried in my laptap. Well, not the entire time. I did move away from my screen frequently to grab a bite to eat, and eat, and eat, and eat…

Cashew nuts, mints, sour balls, chocolate bars, breadsticks, chicken, potato au gratin, scones, milkshakes, and more. Though I didn’t realizd I was depressed, my body sure knew it. That’s why I kept eating. I wanted to fill that empty void in my gut that my body knew was there. That empty hole that makes me feel alone.

Today has been just as bad. Same problem (depression) and same solution (eat.)

So despite all the wonderful ideas floating in my brain to write about, I’m writing about hollow, lonely, depressed feelings and my very bad solution to them.

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