Monthly Archives: September 2013

Running on BIPOLAR juice. Want some?

I’m feeling it today…
That voice in my head that doesn’t stop talking. Doesn’t stop saying ‘you are shitty’, ‘you have nothing’, ‘your worthless’. I hate that voice! That voice always gets in the way of my plans, dreams, and it never stops. My mind is always racing too, between the crazy voice. I feel like my mind never gets a break…

Now, I’m going to correct you, because I’m not hearing VOICES. The voice sounds like my voice, but alot meaner, and louder. This voice has always been the one bringing me down… Like right now.

I need to get some therapy soon because I don’t know much much longer I can keep up appearances… But what appearance am I putting on anyway? I never have it all together, I’ve always been fat, I’ve always been bouncing around from idea to idea, job to job. This time I don’t have marijuana to calm me down and bring me back to a chill comatose state.

Ugh! The next step for me, I GUESS, is just relax, not listening to my crazy mind, and keep my eyes on the prize: a healthy, sane body , mind, and life. Is that too hard to ask for?

To end this post, I will quote one of the saddest Disney princesses. She was waiting for a long time too, like me, for her future to begin and she complained better than I can..with a song…

“someday my prince will come…

    Yeah someday, right? Shit…


How To Make Children Feel More Confident

Children India Polio Handicap

It is really important that a child develops a sense of self-confidence from early on to guarantee the best possible chances of success later in life. It can be very helpful to learn to trust in yourself and your own abilities early so that you are able to take life’s challenges head on.

But sometimes children might seem unable to break out of their shell and not feel very confident in strange situations. Therefore it is crucial that you learn to encourage your child to be more confident.

Build Positive Self-Image


Much of the confidence is based on the perception that children may have of themselves and thus it is really important you ensure their self image is as positive as possible. There are many different ways you can guarantee that their self-image is as positive as possible and it is a good idea to try and employ some of these tips.

First, Ask Dr. Sears website reminds parents that they need to make sure their own self-image is positive because children take so much influence from their parents. So if you are constantly putting yourself down the child will learn negative behaviour and will lose confidence in himself. So try to learn to love yourself so that you can teach your child to do the same.

Of course it doesn’t mean that you need to be unrealistic about it. It is also important for the child to learn to view herself in a realistic way and learn that people are different. It is okay to tell them that some people are better at some things, just as long as they understand it doesn’t make them any worse as a person.

Practice Real Life Situations


Often for a child a lot of different situations can feel very foreign and thus be very scary. For instance, going to the doctor might make them feel a bit scared because they aren’t used to the situation. Therefore a good way to provide children with more confidence is to practice these sorts of situations beforehand.

You could, for example, get a few dolls and gather them around and go through what happens during a doctor’s visit. When your child can be the doctor and the dolls act as the patients then the child will be able to control the situation and learn that there is nothing to worry about.

Dolls are really good for building up confidence in children because they can play the part of the child and the child can take care of them and express their feelings through the dolls. A Girl For All Time collectable dolls, for instance, is a really good way to build up your child’s confidence in a fun and controlled way.

Building up confidence through play is a really useful and simple way to encourage your child to stay confident and will also make them less anxious when they are faced with different situations in life. Learning about different behaviours this way will also allow them to ask questions and thus they won’t have to wonder why adults act the way they do in real life.
Featured images:
Hannah likes to help parents handle their children better and wants to guarantee children have the best possible start in life. She loves to spend time with youngsters and volunteers at her local youth club whenever she can.

Some Light Ribbing

Now, this is where I groan and banish myself to Xanth for making a horrible, horrible pun. But I *DO* have ribbing to share, and I’m right proud of it. But first, I wanted to share the finished hat/cardigan set that I was showing off the cardigan of last time:

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The hat knitted up much faster than I realized it would, which is sort of great — it meant that I got to finish something quickly, hee hee. The seam (shown in the first shot) isn’t 100% perfect and straight, but it’s a clean mattress stitch otherwise. As someone in my Stitch ‘n Bitch group suggested, it would have probably aligned even better had I started the seam at the bottom and worked up. But, I reckon, it’s not bad as is.

So then, on to the next project in the book. It’s yet another little person cardigan, and it’s been a headache since the start. This book doesn’t really give good enough guidance on what wool to use, so I had to make a few purchases and make several gauge squares. I’m using chunky (US bulky), but I’m thinking that maybe it should have been super-chunky (US super-bulky). It’s good enough for government work, as they say, and it’s knitting up quite nicely.

But first, I had to figure out the horror that is corrugated rib. There is a total lack of left-handed tutorial for it online, so I had to spend a few hours experimenting. After all, I can change colours, and I can rib, so i should be able to combine the two, right?

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I eventually got the hang of it; the trick is to make sure you carry the contrasting colour wool along the same side as the main colour. So if you’re purling the main colour, you keep the contrasting colour to the front when you’re not working on it:

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And even though I made a few errors (like casting on two too few/two too many stitches in a row), the back is completed, and the open stitches on the top are awkwardly held together with safety pins. I thought I’d be able to pick up a stitch holder from the pharmacy when I went to pick up my prescription, but I was wrong on that count.

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The pattern makes me giggle and think of Daleks slightly; too bad I didn’t look up how to do bobbles until too late, ha ha. Whatever the case, I can take pride in figuring out yet another semi-complicated bit of knitting without my brain shutting down. Yes, it took a few hours of experimenting to get it right, but that my brain was willing to be quiet and still and not so bipolar to let me do that is still amazing. Oh sure, I still have to use the power of Complaining to the Internet+3 to vent my frustration and clear my brain a bit, but that’s not exactly a dire thing either. It gives friends a chance to offer their wisdom (and I have a lot of wise knitting friends), it shares something going on in my life (however banal), and um… something something. My train of thought derailed; I can only blame that on the glorious smell of banana bread baking downstairs. *smiles*

I hope everyone is doing well this last day of September!

<3

The post Some Light Ribbing appeared first on The Scarlet B.

The Crazy Ones

Who saw the series premiere of Robin Williams’ and Sarah Michelle Geller’s show, The Crazy ones?

The Crazy Ones

I have to admit, I was interested because they used the word “crazy” in the title.

I’m still not entirely sure what the show is going to be about, to be honest, but I thought it was hilarious and because of that, I’ll definitely be watching again.  Robin Williams’ character is yet to be truly revealed, in my opinion!  I feel like he wasn’t just doing his usual schtick but, that there’s more than immediately meets the eye.  I’m assuming his character has got some mental health struggles in there somewhere.

Pretty smart of the creators of the show to reel us in with excellent humor and great actors (not to mention Kelly Clarkson acting like a bad-ass) and then pivot us in episodes to come, with hopefully what will be a relevant and respectful look at life, mental illness and who knows what else.

Let me say, I could be totally wrong, but this is what I’m hoping for.  Wouldn’t that be nice? We’ll see.

In the meantime.  This will make anyone laugh out loud.  (Specifically at 2 minutes 13 seconds to about 3:06).

Am I right? Am I right?  You totally lol’ed didn’t you?!

Still Cracking-up,

Easily Amused,

Mrs Bipolarity

I feel like crap

I don’t know ……I just feel like I suck and am feeling very insecure. I am feeling awkward socially at times and I feel attacked. I am not sure by whom. I am in a bad place tonight but I guess tomorrow will be better. Tired of the brave face….this is not a good feeling. I haven’t said anything to anyone because this is all very related to me not having a clear idea of how to express myself. I feel like my expressions and feelings are junk and ……whatever I am signing off tonight.

No-Sew (Unless You Want To!) Burlap Coffee Sack Pillow!!

Since I’m feeling a bit “up” the last few days and autumn is upon us, I’m decorating for the new season and trying to use all the odds and ends I’ve been collecting. As I referenced in yesterday’s post, my aunt got me some coffee sacks to use as decorations. I decided to turn one into a pillow. I’ll give you my extremely informal how to (complete with screw ups) so you can create one for yourself!

I started with checking which sack I wanted to use, then headed to the craft store. When you make the pillow with a form, you can use whatever size or shape you want, but since I can’t sew and wasn’t sure exactly what I was doing, I got a 16×16″ square. The burlap is going to fray and it isn’t soft, so this isn’t really a “cuddle” or bed pillow, it’s going to go on my loveseat. I got a remnant of fabric for the back of the pillow (and for a bit of softness) and I grabbed no-sew heat and bond tape. It’s essentially heat-activated fabric glue strips, which makes me happy because I only know one stitch and I don’t have the patience to try to sew all four sides.

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I cut the burlap sack into a 20×20″ square, far larger than the pillow form I bought, but to allow myself a margin of error, if you will. I bonded the burlap to the backing after cutting a square of that, also. The bonding is quite easy to use, you place it where you want the seam and heat it, then peel off backing and placing second fabric on top and sealing that once more with heat from your iron.

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I created an envelope of sorts, seaming the three sides, then inserting the pillow form. I had more than enough fabric, and the form is loose within the pillowcase, but it was better than coming up short. I didn’t remember to fold the top back to create the same seam as the bottom, and I should have folded the burlap back before seaming to avoid fraying. But, hindsight is always 20/20 and I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out nonetheless. I added a blanket stitch on the left and right of the pillow, to help prevent the burlap from fraying and for a little more color.

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So, obviously the blanket stitch is optional, but if you want a little more secure seam and a bit of color, go ahead and add the stitch. I think that my pillow came out really nicely for winging it and I have another coffee sack that is the same, so I can have a set of pillows once I make the second one!

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So there is the no-sew pillow! Rustic and upcycled and coffee-licious on this National Coffee Day!!

Filed under: Crafty Tagged: coffee, craft, DIY, no-sew, rustic, upcycle, urban farmstead

Quote of the Day

“Progress always involves risk; you can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.” -Frederick Wilcox

Even when it’s not an issue, it’s an issue.

I still do not have full use of the hand that was injured and some of my fingers are still unable to fully extend or grip, despite various visits to specialists and intensive physical therapy. In obtaining copies of my medical records from the hospital stay to take to another hand surgeon, I found that my BiPolar and anxiety disorder was prominently listed along with the description of my injuries by every single Dr I saw at the 2 hospitals I stayed at. “Patient was injured when blah blah blah and has a history of BiPolar and anxiety disorder,” “Patient is unable to ambulate blah blah blah fingers, blood culture reveals blah blah blah results and has a history of BiPolar and anxiety disorder,” “surgical evaluation at this time reveals blah blah blah and patient has a history of BiPolar and anxiety disorder,” etc etc etc. It’s not even as though my mental health disorders played a part in this, were a contributing factor in my treatment plan, or something that would have been evident to any hospital staff, aside from my truthful answers about health history and medications I take. I was calm, pleasant to all hospital staff and didn’t throw the fit I wanted to in response to the constant pain I was experiencing despite heavy narcotics.

It’s like a flag on my records, not listed along with my general health history along with my other health issues, but listed predominantly. A flag that says “this patient is BiPolar, watch out,” I didn’t sleep for almost 3 days due to the pain and I am grateful that a breakdown didn’t happen until I got home, when I was alone.

Every single day I work hard to keep my disorders in check, manage several different health issues, chronic spinal pain, go to work, do freelance work and maintain my household independently. I am also currently sick (some sort of flu-like plague) and have pressing things I need to complete both at home and with editing a shoot I managed to do a few days ago. Since my hand injury I’ve had to cancel or reschedule 3 shoots because I could not even hold my camera, which means a bigger financial hit as well. It’s a downward spiral affect and I’m so. Fucking. Tired. I’ve done all the self care I can and I need a break. Badly. Maybe even some help, which is hard for me to ask for but that’s another topic in and of itself.

I’m unable to crash and burn, there’s nowhere other than here for me to land. I don’t want this to be my reality…but it is…and I manage the best I can…all the while mentally flogging myself for not doing or being better.

Even when it’s not an issue, it’s an issue.

I still do not have full use of the hand that was injured and some of my fingers are still unable to fully extend or grip, despite various visits to specialists and intensive physical therapy. In obtaining copies of my medical records from the hospital stay to take to another hand surgeon, I found that my BiPolar and anxiety disorder was prominently listed along with the description of my injuries by every single Dr I saw at the 2 hospitals I stayed at. “Patient was injured when blah blah blah and has a history of BiPolar and anxiety disorder,” “Patient is unable to ambulate blah blah blah fingers, blood culture reveals blah blah blah results and has a history of BiPolar and anxiety disorder,” “surgical evaluation at this time reveals blah blah blah and patient has a history of BiPolar and anxiety disorder,” etc etc etc. It’s not even as though my mental health disorders played a part in this, were a contributing factor in my treatment plan, or something that would have been evident to any hospital staff, aside from my truthful answers about health history and medications I take. I was calm, pleasant to all hospital staff and didn’t throw the fit I wanted to in response to the constant pain I was experiencing despite heavy narcotics.

It’s like a flag on my records, not listed along with my general health history along with my other health issues, but listed predominantly. A flag that says “this patient is BiPolar, watch out,” I didn’t sleep for almost 3 days due to the pain and I am grateful that a breakdown didn’t happen until I got home, when I was alone.

Every single day I work hard to keep my disorders in check, manage several different health issues, chronic spinal pain, go to work, do freelance work and maintain my household independently. I am also currently sick (some sort of flu-like plague) and have pressing things I need to complete both at home and with editing a shoot I managed to do a few days ago. Since my hand injury I’ve had to cancel or reschedule 3 shoots because I could not even hold my camera, which means a bigger financial hit as well. It’s a downward spiral affect and I’m so. Fucking. Tired. I’ve done all the self care I can and I need a break. Badly. Maybe even some help, which is hard for me to ask for but that’s another topic in and of itself.

I’m unable to crash and burn, there’s nowhere other than here for me to land. I don’t want this to be my reality…but it is…and I manage the best I can…all the while mentally flogging myself for not doing or being better.

Just Checking In

A while back I was going to post about a what an amazing week I’d had.  Then we had a death in the family and my writing plans were put on hold.  Even if they hadn’t been put on hold, there was no way I could write a happy post when I was heartbroken. I […]