The last few days since I received my bipolar diagnosis have been stressful. Between working and adjusting to my new meds (still a work in progress) I’m also facing the ignorance and cruelty of people who do not understand that I do not choose to behave this way, it’s a part of my disorder.
Does that sound like a cop out? It might, but it’s the truth. People who lack empathy are toxic to me. It takes a lot more bravery and strength to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and show them mercy than it does to bully, belittle and chat with your friends about “that crazy girl” and “check out this post she wrote”. I’m bipolar, I’m not stupid. This type of garbage plays havoc with my already bewildered mind and emotions.
I’m making a huge effort to take care of myself. I’m trying to get my medication schedule figured out so I can be my best at work and keeping up with healthy eating. I’m still dedicating time each day to talk to Jesus, thank him for the good things I have. I am choosing to surround myself with positive people, positive messages and if something/someone does not support this, then that is being removed from my life.
I am happy to say that for as much negativity as I’ve faced in the past week, I’ve also received positive, loving support that far outweighs the bad. From co-workers to family to friends and internet people I’m finding a support I was scared I never would. For that, I am so grateful.
To anyone who is in the same boat as me, hang in there. Don’t let the bastards grind you down, as the song says. You are more than the stigma, the names, the cyberbullying, all of it.